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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Getting asked "Is that real" about jewelry
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 20 2018, 10:31 pm
I don’t know, these responses come off as very defensive. If my MIL or SIL wanted to know if jewelry was real I would tell them.
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happyfaces




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 20 2018, 11:10 pm
happyfaces wrote:
I can only wear 14k jewlery and get ask this question a lot, it bothers me just as much its non of anyone business. Sometimes I'll say ' who knows' or ' yes, its not imaginary'.


Why the hug? What
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Dandelion1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 12:39 am
"If you can't tell, does it really matter?"
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 1:09 am
amother wrote:
OP here.... So the problem is that these are mostly close family members - SILs, MIL, aunts and uncles. I know they were tacky by asking but I can't be rude by answering... can I?


If you ask a stupid question don't complain when you get a sarcastic answer.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 4:44 am
dancingqueen wrote:
I don’t know, these responses come off as very defensive. If my MIL or SIL wanted to know if jewelry was real I would tell them.


Yes I don’t understand what the fuss is about, I have no problem with that question.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 7:36 am
This is why I detest query posts that don’t give the full story. The answers I posted are for strangers or casual acquaintances. Why would you not tell close relatives the truth? Not that it’s their business but what’s the big deal? It’s not as if they’re adking if you’re pregnant or on BC.

Are you embarrassed to wear fakes sometimes, or trying to hide the fact that you can afford to wear the real thing? Do you fear criticism for having failed to chip in $50 for the shul ad honoring Aunt Thelma when you just bought yourself a $10K diamond tennis bracelet?
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happyfaces




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 8:49 am
dancingqueen wrote:
I don’t know, these responses come off as very defensive. If my MIL or SIL wanted to know if jewelry was real I would tell them.


Close family members I would tell.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 9:53 am
I would totally not care. I'm happy to tell people if it is "real" or not. Probably not real, in my case.
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BadTichelDay




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:45 am
Naaah, I put 5 shekel in the chewing gum vending machine and out came this. Got really lucky there, don't you think?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:51 am
who cares ... wear it for the beauty not the value to others
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:53 am
I have the opposite. Most of my jewelry is not real. When I get compliments, I automatically straight out say it's not real, and they usually tell me that I don't have to tell anyone and make me feel that it was TMI.
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MrsDash




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 11:59 am
Women are the worst.

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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 2:45 pm
I say is anything real..
Olam hazeh is one big illusion and then start pontificating about chasidus
In Lakewood that gets rid of yentish women
REAL FAST
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heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 3:51 pm
I smile and say, "my husband bought it for me." They can interpret that any way they want.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 7:55 pm
amother wrote:
I wear a mix of real and fake jewelry.

I hate being asked about it, yet so many of my relatives, both very wealthy and not wealthy at all, somehow feel comfortable asking me if a piece is real.

I find it so gauche and tacky; I would never ask someone if her jewelry was real. It makes me really uncomfortable. I always answer honestly, but I really wish I was never asked that question.

How do you handle it?


I have a great generic answer for all inappropriate and nosy questions, that someone wise once suggested...”WOW, I really admire your lack of inhibition at being able to ask such a personal question.” Then just smile and don’t answer. It puts the spotlight right back on them!
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bobeli




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2018, 8:13 pm
I love that answer, but it can't be used on close relatives.
I say does it matter? Or my it was a gift from my husband, I don't ask questions about a gift.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2018, 12:40 am
zaq wrote:
This is why I detest query posts that don’t give the full story. The answers I posted are for strangers or casual acquaintances. Why would you not tell close relatives the truth? Not that it’s their business but what’s the big deal? It’s not as if they’re adking if you’re pregnant or on BC.
'

Then you're bad at reading, because I clearly wrote in my OP that I am talking about my relatives.
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