I want her to know that I am proud no matter what.

amother

Navy

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 5:24 am

Hi,
My 4 year old daughters kindergarten graduation was today and BH she did an amazing job. She litterally had me in tears.
I want to tell her that I am so proud of her, but on the other hand, I want her to know that I am proud of her no matter what, and that today she really outdid herself.
I must add that I never grew up in a healthy home. so please don't laugh if my question sounds stupid.... most of the things people take for granted are hard for me.
Anyways, I want to know what would be the healthiest way to compliment her.

imasinger

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 5:47 am

You say you want to let her know two things.

1. You did fabulously, you were amazing, I am filled with pride and joy.

2. I'm proud of you all the time, even if you don't perform well.

You really, really don't want to attempt to communicate those two things at the same time, because it will sound like what you really think is she was lousy.

For the time immediately after the performance, focus on the first thing. Give concrete examples of what exactly made you proud. Maybe she can do a complex set of things independently on stage. Maybe she has overcome shyness. Whatever it is, let her know.

Then, let it drop. Because you don't only value her for those things, and your love and appreciation are not dependent on her doing a great job in public.

Be sure to compliment her every day. Think of making a mitzvah note even outside of school, whether verbally or in writing. Spend time together, and tell her she's fun to be around.

That will work towards your second goal.

amother

Jade

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 5:52 am

I think you can say that you are so proud of her. What an amazing show. And give hugs.
Smiling a big smile full of love and looking her straight in the eyes without rushing away to do something is enough.
She will understand that this is the love of a Mom to a daughter and was not dependent on a good performance. The show just gave you an opportunity to demonstrate your love this time.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Jun 20 2018, 7:01 am

My DD (6) had her graduation. She came home with a sticker in her hand because her teacher said she did an amazing job.

Give your daughter something small as a reward. Pack of stickers, new crayons, bubbles.....