What should I do about overweight 13 y.o. daughter?

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Jul 02 2018, 10:05 am

amother wrote:

What brand of stretch mark cream is good? I never bought any (probably should have though - I have plenty on my tummy). Good idea to leave it in the bathroom so she can try it out. Thanks!

You can usually get them in any drugstore where they have all the baby creams. I don't remember what brand I used but I guess any brand will do! All the women in my family use it during pregnancy and there's almost no stretchmarks at all.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Jul 02 2018, 10:38 am

I am so worried about this. Being thin my whole life, and marrying someone heavier, I’m worried one of my children will inherit his genes and I won’t know how to deal with it. One thing I’m trying hard to do: make being healthy part of the family culture. So my little kids play tennis, ride bikes and scooters, take walks, hopefully activities me and dh can always do with them. When they get older, hiking, canoeing/ kayaking, cross country skiing. I rarely buy candy and nosh. We eat lots of fruit and veg., pickles, popcorn in the microwave (kernels) craisins, nuts, (they love pistachios), I make healthy granola bars and muffins for me and dh - they of course want. Seltzer and water only, juice is for homemade ices. Still, I’m worried this isn’t enough and I won’t cope well with an overweight child.

tichellady

Mon, Jul 02 2018, 12:27 pm

amother wrote:

Kind of a tangent but stretch mark cream is a waste of money. Not much to do to prevent stretch marks, some women are likely to get them and some are not. A dermatologist can help get rid of them after but creams don’t actually help with prevention.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Jul 03 2018, 3:24 am

I commented earlier about how I lost 35 lbs when I was 14.5...
Just wanted to say I had stretch marks since I was 12 on my stomach and upper arms. They got lighter with each passing year (in the beginning they were red but for sure once I was 18 they were a light color). I got married. My husband does not care (in fact, I don't think he ever even noticed...)
and anyway, 4 pregnancies later, does it really matter? Smile

As frum women, when do we ever need to show our stomachs to anyone other than our husband? (and doctor...who probably has seen hundreds of patients with stretch marks).

OP, please do not worry about it.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Jul 03 2018, 10:07 am

I have a daughter that's gaining a lot of weight.

My husband and I sat the kids down, and explained that we did some research into sodas and candy, and we're not bringing those into the house anymore. We showed them how much sugar is in a cup of soda. Since everyone is on board, my daughter didn't feel particularly singled out. We also stopped double portions at dinner. They get decent age-appropriate portions. Taking doubles is just stuffing themselves.

We are also getting a Wii with games like Just Dance and guitar hero. My kids love pretending they're rock stars and putting on concerts, playing games like these will be fun for them and they won't realize how much exercise they're getting.

sleepybeauty

Tue, Jul 03 2018, 10:24 am

I commend you for approaching this with sensitivity. The way you deal with this now will have a large impact on her relationship with her body and to food. I recommend researching intuitive eating. Diet culture is extremely harmful to children and teenagers. A child is 242 times more likely to have an eating disorder than they are to have type 2 diabetes.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jul 03 2018, 10:34 am

amother wrote:

I haven’t been in this exact situation, but I have had to make significant diet changes for my daughter (younger than yours) for other reasons. From what I’ve learned, it’s not your daughter that’s craving the carbs and dairy and junk, it’s the bacteria and/or fungus in the gut that feeds off of those types of foods that is trying to live. I would say you should be up front with your daughter and educate her (first educate yourself- not saying this in a rude way, just matter of fact as many of us never got this knowledge unless it was sought out!) on how what we put into our bodies affects us. In my opinion, I’d address it from a health point of view rather than talking about weight. But definitely be clear and put it in a positive light- empower her to make choices and put good things in her body instead of just eating what she “craves”. Find healthy recipes together and get excited about the food you’re eating instead of making it a chore to eat that way.

This! ^^

I've had to significantly modify my child's diet because of a health condition. I agree wth this so much.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Jul 03 2018, 12:25 pm

OP here. Happy to report that our whole family has been eating better and enjoying it! I bought whole wheat wraps, different flavors of chumus, Ezekiel bread, natural peanut butter, eggs, and lots of fruits and veggies for my kids to make lunches out of. I'm not buying any junky snacks, and so far (thanks to delicious summer nectarines, melons, and cherries) my kids aren't missing them!

Thanks for all the advice!

P.S. Thanks to the poster who said her stretchmarks faded, that was comforting to know.

WastingTime

Tue, Jul 03 2018, 1:51 pm

amother wrote:

Yes!
I got stretch marks during puberty and I wasn't overweight. Bodies rapidly grow at that age and stretch marks happen
Unless you are planning on her having a swimsuit modeling career I wouldn't give it a second thought.