How to say no.....

amother

Navy

Wed, Jul 04 2018, 12:43 am

We moved to a new state a few years ago. That first year, I had a new friend and her family over maybe 4 times to stay by us for Shabbos. We didn't have so much in common, etc, but, hey, we were new here and the mom and I were friendly and that was good enough at the time.

We're now more settled. Haven't had this lady and her family over for prob two years. We made tentative plans for them to come for Shabbos about 4 months ago and then it fell through on both our parts. She just asked about rescheduling and, frankly, I don't really want to. Her kids are not at all the same ages as my kids and the family keeps a very strict diet that is very hard to accommodate.

How can I politely say no? She and I have a plan to meet up just the two of us for her birthday in a few months, so I have given her signs that I would like to continue the relationship, just not overnight for Shabbos (she lives in another city and could not walk in just for a meal).

Thank you for your help and input

crust

Wed, Jul 04 2018, 1:28 am

If she is a normal understanding adult, How about being straightforward and honest?

I used to have a certain family coming to me every now and then. After a few years, the dynamics changed. Both families grew, the place became too crowded and I really did not enjoy it anymore.

Whenever she asked I would push her off until one day I decided to say the truth. I said; I am sorry it is not shayach for me to do this anymore. It was a pleasure having you but the families grew and I become too overwhelmed when the place becomes crowded.

She was trying to say things like "Big deal! My kids dont mind sleeping on the floor!"
Being that I was completely honest, I had nothing to be afraid of. I simply repeated my truth; it is too much for me to have so many people in the house.

She was normal enough to stop pushing if the reason I didnt want was that;"it is too much for me."

It did not harm our relationship BH.

You can just say that it is becoming too hard for you to host overnight.