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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
Blonde
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 Sun, Jul 15 2018, 3:24 pm
Whatever you do, I personally dont think you should get an old car bec I did that and it cost a lot bec things broke often. I got stuck too. I'm not saying it will happen to u but beware old car may cost a lot in unexpected repairs.
Personally I walk with a carriage and take public transportation to save money. Cabs on a daily basis is a luxury. It is hard to walk or take the bus but if there's no money then that's what's needed.
Maybe rethinking where u live is necessary. If you are in a place where there are no sidewalks, then it seems a car is a must. But, if u can't afford a car, then its not working to live there. So, obviously, its your choice but you need to take everything into account.
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Raisin
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 3:24 pm
are cars very expensive in the US? Here I am pretty sure you can get a small, fairly reliable car for under a $1000. It may not last you very long but hopefully in the meantime you can get on your feet and buy a better one.
And I see no reason why your husband should not cycle to work. He doesn't need to take kids and its healthy.
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amother
Maroon
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 3:31 pm
| amother wrote: | | From where I sit - your best option right now is to move closer to a bus stop. |
Moving costs money too. Security, first month rent, etc.
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amother
Sapphire
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 3:37 pm
| amother wrote: | | Moving costs money too. Security, first month rent, etc. |
Moving yes. But you get back your security deposit and give it to the new place. First month's rent gets paid same way you'd pay that month's rent at the old place.
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Mommyg8
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 3:52 pm
| amother wrote: | | What you are paying in taxis is more than I pay to lease my brand new mini van, including the gas. Please get a financial planner. Speak to someone who knows about career opportunities in your neighborhood. You CAN be helped. |
That doesn't make sense, are you including insurance? Depending on where you live it can be quite expensive.
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amother
Tangerine
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:11 pm
| amother wrote: | | Moving is really not an option since all the places I've seen are old, ugly and I'd be saving like $50/month in rent. Besides, how would I rent a truck to move? They take only cc and I don't have one anymore. |
You’d save 50 a month in rent AND be able to get around without taxis.
Movers take cash.
Your at the point where you are seeking out tzedka to help. Use that towards a more reasonable living location.
A Jewish family of 5 bringing in your current family income cannot afford two cars (I think I understood DH has a car), or daily taxi use.
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:11 pm
| Quote: | I need advice, please.
What other corners can I cut?
What else can I do?
What am I doing wrong? |
It's not so much what you are doing wrong. It's what the ultra-orthodox world is doing wrong: not giving a proper secular education to our children and then expecting them to get married and have kids without a thought or a plan on how they are going to sustain themselves in this world.
You, op, are a victim of the ultra frum world and, sadly, you are not alone.
At this point, you are quite stuck. The only thing I would advise right now is going on bc and encourage your dh to get himself some kind of degree in the evenings after work....(what is he good at? what does he like to do?), so that eventually, even if it takes a few years, your family won't have to struggle any more like this.
And make sure your kids get a secular education.
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amother
Amber
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:23 pm
| amother wrote: | | Quote: | I need advice, please.
What other corners can I cut?
What else can I do?
What am I doing wrong? |
It's not so much what you are doing wrong. It's what the ultra-orthodox world is doing wrong: not giving a proper secular education to our children and then expecting them to get married and have kids without a thought or a plan on how they are going to sustain themselves in this world.
You, op, are a victim of the ultra frum world and, sadly, you are not alone.
At this point, you are quite stuck. The only thing I would advise right now is going on bc and encourage your dh to get himself some kind of degree in the evenings after work....(what is he good at? what does he like to do?), so that eventually, even if it takes a few years, your family won't have to struggle any more like this.
And make sure your kids get a secular education. |
You're making lots of assumptions about op's background and that of her dh.
I do think op should be thinking long term, and figure out how she or dh can significantly increase their earning potential. There are loans available for schooling if it comes down to that.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:32 pm
| amother wrote: | You’d save 50 a month in rent AND be able to get around without taxis.
Movers take cash.
Your at the point where you are seeking out tzedka to help. Use that towards a more reasonable living location.
A Jewish family of 5 bringing in your current family income cannot afford two cars (I think I understood DH has a car), or daily taxi use. |
We don't have cars at all.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:42 pm
| amother wrote: | | Quote: | I need advice, please.
What other corners can I cut?
What else can I do?
What am I doing wrong? |
It's not so much what you are doing wrong. It's what the ultra-orthodox world is doing wrong: not giving a proper secular education to our children and then expecting them to get married and have kids without a thought or a plan on how they are going to sustain themselves in this world.
You, op, are a victim of the ultra frum world and, sadly, you are not alone.
At this point, you are quite stuck. The only thing I would advise right now is going on bc and encourage your dh to get himself some kind of degree in the evenings after work....(what is he good at? what does he like to do?), so that eventually, even if it takes a few years, your family won't have to struggle any more like this.
And make sure your kids get a secular education. |
We like our "simple" lifestyle. And yes, I will make sure my children have a profession.
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Lily2
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:42 pm
It's not so much what you are doing wrong. It's what the ultra-orthodox world is doing wrong: not giving a proper secular education to our children and then expecting them to get married and have kids without a thought or a plan on how they are going to sustain themselves in this world.
You, op, are a victim of the ultra frum world and, sadly, you are not alone.
At this point, you are quite stuck. The only thing I would advise right now is going on bc and encourage your dh to get himself some kind of degree in the evenings after work....(what is he good at? what does he like to do?), so that eventually, even if it takes a few years, your family won't have to struggle any more like this.
And make sure your kids get a secular education.[/quote]
Why do opinionated ppl hide behind amother?!
It’s easier to accept advice when it’s offered gently with a generous dose of empathy.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:45 pm
[/quote]
Why do opinionated ppl hide behind amother?!
It’s easier to accept advice when it’s offered gently with a generous dose of empathy.[/quote]
I know you're not talking to me but I'm amother bc I'm too embarrassed people will know my simple life is not so simple 
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Lily2
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:51 pm
Why do opinionated ppl hide behind amother?!
It’s easier to accept advice when it’s offered gently with a generous dose of empathy.[/quote]
I know you're not talking to me but I'm amother bc I'm too embarrassed people will know my simple life is not so simple [/quote][b]
That’s ok. I often post anon
But if u are going to attack ‘ultra frum’ values and victimise OP, don’t be pathetic and hide behind amother.
I have no helpful advice and can only extend my best wishes to OP; health wealth and happiness always!
We are looking forward to wonderful updates in the very near future.
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amother
Silver
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 4:53 pm
| amother wrote: | | Quote: | I need advice, please.
What other corners can I cut?
What else can I do?
What am I doing wrong? |
It's not so much what you are doing wrong. It's what the ultra-orthodox world is doing wrong: not giving a proper secular education to our children and then expecting them to get married and have kids without a thought or a plan on how they are going to sustain themselves in this world.
You, op, are a victim of the ultra frum world and, sadly, you are not alone.
At this point, you are quite stuck. The only thing I would advise right now is going on bc and encourage your dh to get himself some kind of degree in the evenings after work....(what is he good at? what does he like to do?), so that eventually, even if it takes a few years, your family won't have to struggle any more like this.
And make sure your kids get a secular education. | ``
Are you serious? I GOT a secular education and have a BIG IMPORTANT JOB and my husband, a product of the ultra frum world makes triple what I make because he's a real go-getter and uber talented.
And no, we didn't family plan at all. We make quite comfortably, BH, as do many people I know.
Mazal happens. How much we make or don't is part of our life's mission. Just because someone is frum and also not rich doesn't mean the "frum" is to blame.
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Amarante
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 5:00 pm
How can alternative means of transportation be as expensive as a taxi? Are there bus routes available because you can generally save on a monthly pass. Can he carpool with a co-worker or even just pay for a ride to and from work.
Alternatively since you have one car, DRIVE your husband to work on those days when you need a car to run errands. No it's not the most convenient thing but it minimizes the need for two cars.
You need to look at every place in which you can save a few dollars - like taxis - and put that in an account for a car. However, given the precariousness of your finances, can you really even afford another car - older cars require repairs and all cars need insurance which can be expensive.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 5:03 pm
| Amarante wrote: | How can alternative means of transportation be as expensive as a taxi? Are there bus routes available because you can generally save on a monthly pass. Can he carpool with a co-worker or even just pay for a ride to and from work.
Alternatively since you have one car, DRIVE your husband to work on those days when you need a car to run errands. No it's not the most convenient thing but it minimizes the need for two cars.
You need to look at every place in which you can save a few dollars - like taxis - and put that in an account for a car. However, given the precariousness of your finances, can you really even afford another car - older cars require repairs and all cars need insurance which can be expensive. |
We have zero cars. None.
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amother
Magenta
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 5:16 pm
| amother wrote: | | The car is almost 200 000 miles, she wants $5000, $400/month. |
That sounds like too much money for That amount of mileage. But it depends on what type of car it is and the year.
I just bought a minivan that has over 189,000 and I believe it is over 18 yrs. old and we paid 500 dollars. We use it only locally.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 5:21 pm
| amother wrote: | That sounds like too much money for That amount of mileage. But it depends on what type of car it is and the year.
I just bought a minivan that has over 189,000 and I believe it is over 18 yrs. old and we paid 500 dollars. We use it only locally. |
For that reason we didn't buy it. It's from 2003.
I wish I found a car that price! Where do you find those? I don't need a fancy car for long trips, I need it to go to work, come back home and small errands. Wow you're so lucky!
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naturalmom5
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 5:22 pm
| amother wrote: | | Quote: | I need advice, please.
What other corners can I cut?
What else can I do?
What am I doing wrong? |
It's not so much what you are doing wrong. It's what the ultra-orthodox world is doing wrong: not giving a proper secular education to our children and then expecting them to get married and have kids without a thought or a plan on how they are going to sustain themselves in this world.
You, op, are a victim of the ultra frum world and, sadly, you are not alone.
At this point, you are quite stuck. The only thing I would advise right now is going on bc and encourage your dh to get himself some kind of degree in the evenings after work....(what is he good at? what does he like to do?), so that eventually, even if it takes a few years, your family won't have to struggle any more like this.
And make sure your kids get a secular education. |
Where is the hundred likes button....
Last edited by naturalmom5 on Sun, Jul 15 2018, 9:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Magenta
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Sun, Jul 15 2018, 5:26 pm
| amother wrote: | For that reason we didn't buy it. It's from 2003.
I wish I found a car that price! Where do you find those? I don't need a fancy car for long trips, I need it to go to work, come back home and small errands. Wow you're so lucky! |
Where are you located if you want to say here.
I bought this car from a dealer in Rockland country.
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