I didn't finish doing all the laundry before the nine days

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 9:35 am

amother wrote:

I love how rabbanim just say this. I know that for myself, we do not have the money to just go out and buy new clothing on a whim. So this is definitely not possible for everyone.

They don't "just say this," they are letting her know that this is the preferred halachic way of doing it. If someone can't afford enough clothing for the nine days they can ask that shailah.

amother

White

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 9:36 am

Shopping instead of laundry I think shows us that doing laundry is a big deal, not just a recommendation. Obviously if you can’t afford it, don’t go into debt. However, many people CAN afford a package of underwear and a package of socks from Walmart. I’m always surprised by how many people have laundry problems. Do people not WANT to follow the rules? Are they trying to get out of it? Someone please enlighten me. I didn’t grow up this way. Will anything happen if your kids aren’t matching and perfectly put together every day, if a pair of pants are a little dirty? If you wear the same shell or pantyhose two days in a row? (Hang them, theyll air out somewhat). The 9 days are not supposed to be comfortable. Obviously there are circumstances that change things - toilet training accidents, etc.
I remember going to day camp as a child in my school uniform skirt or shirt, I don’t remember which. I respect my mother for having the guts to do that.

LovesHashem

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 10:28 am

amother wrote:

I love how rabbanim just say this. I know that for myself, we do not have the money to just go out and buy new clothing on a whim. So this is definitely not possible for everyone.

If so tell your Rabbi that, it will change the psak.

amother

Violet

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 10:31 am

amother wrote:

I love how rabbanim just say this. I know that for myself, we do not have the money to just go out and buy new clothing on a whim. So this is definitely not possible for everyone.

My Rov says the same but with the added detail of if you can afford it. I don’t believe anything is one size fits all and if you speak with your rov who knows your life he will usually Pasken differently based on different situations. On the other hand if you call a random rov who doesn’t know you, you will probably get a standard psak unless you fill him in on more details of the situation. Rabbanim are not out to get us! I really don’t understand this mentality. Our rov is our guide in life, helping us do the right thing and being a very uunderstanding and supportive person in every situation!! (Unless we have an unusually special rov. I can’t know what others are like)

creditcards

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 10:35 am

amother wrote:

I’m repeatedly amazed by how many people on IMAMOTHER start threads, looking for answers to halachic questions, which should be posed to a rabbi, not women on this site, who inevitably freely dispense heteirim, just because they say so! I don’t therefore believe that op’s on these types of threads, are sincerely seeking the Halachic answer to their issue, they merely want justification to do the wrong thing. Sad.

I don't like your post. Don't assume stuff about people. Because someone posted doesn't mean she is not gonna ask well. So sad to see how judgemental people are on here.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

Good for you. My dayan said if the clothing is dirty. (Not just plain worn but dirty) I can wash if I don't have more. And if my cleaning lady comes in and starts to wash without asking me I don't need to tell her to stop. It's also better if she washes and not me.

Yes. I want to follow the rules. And therefore I asked my dayan to tell me the rules. Are you trying to follow the rules or follow the way you were raised?

wifenmother

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 10:56 am

amother wrote:

He told me that I can let anything already in the washer finish and put it into the dryer so it doesn't get ruined, but after that he said it's better to buy new clothing than to wash. I asked to make sure and he said it's for all of us, DH and me and the kids. It's definitely worth calling because you might be very surprised what you hear.

I also very surprised when I got this psak earlier this week.

I actually went out to buy my daughters over bas mitzva two new T-shirts (that match skirts they already have). They're old enough to keep their skirts clean to allow for more than one day of wear, but with all the sweating in this weather... I was told that it is preferable that they wear it before the nine days (even thought we're in the three weeks) if possible, rather than wearing it for the first time in the nine days.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 11:02 am

amother wrote:

Thanks everyone for your input, I think I will manage with what I have, and if not, gonna ask our Rav. Regarding the bolded above, I always wash new clothes, especially underwear before first wear, so it wouldn't help. Doesn't everyone do same, or am I strange that I do that?

amother

Seafoam

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 1:34 pm

I was doing laundry up to shkia yesterday so that I wouldn't have to do laundry during the 9 days. Then my baby woke up this morning covered in poop which had leaked out of her diaper all over her and her pajamas and sheets. There's no way I can let that sit for over a week, so I'm doing laundry today. I can't believe I didn't make it even 1 day, but I'm just doing the best I can.

amother

White

Fri, Jul 13 2018, 8:48 pm

amother wrote:

but maybe you should tell her that there’s no laundry this week? Or do you intentionally not tell her, so that she’ll do it? After she does it once, do you tell her no laundry? Or you just keep quiet? Did your Dayan specifically tell you it’s ok not to tell her? You don’t owe me any answers; Im curious, it could be chasidim are meikel in his area.
I’m trying to follow the rules. But there’s also a vital component - the spirit of the law. That’s the part I grew up with that I’m not seeing much of.

cbsp

Mon, Jul 16 2018, 12:30 am

dovebird wrote:

This post makes me so happy I’m Sephardi! This year since tisha be’av falls out on Sunday there is no shevua shachal bo (the week t’b falls out on) so we are allowed to do laundry, take normal showers, etc. (No meat tho)

Actually, this year Tisha b'Av falls out on Shabbos. We fast on Sunday the 10th of Av.

There's a machlokes (amongst Sefardi poskim) as to whether it is the date that dictates what's shevua shachal bo (in which case there's a whole week of it this year) or when we fast (which means that this year, as in a year when the 9th of Av is actually on Sunday, there's no shevua shachal bo).

Most hold the latter, so in practice you are correct. Shaving (for men) Erev Shabbos Chazon is not recommended...

(I learned the above at a shiur given l'iluy nishmas Yisroel Amichai Ben Yosef v'Sara)