My son is always BORED!!

junam

Sun, Jul 22 2018, 9:02 am

12 yo ds is constantly complaining of boredom. Its literally like its painful for him. He cries if he has nothing to do. everything I suggest is considered boring. He likes to play video games, play soccer and thats it! Please tell me how to deal with it!

I do think its a problem for this generation in general. Why can't they just occupy themselves with regular activities? Bake some cookies, fold some laundry, play a board game etc.. I have an older son that gets bored very easily and he has gone totally off the derech, and I believe part of it is because he doesn't know how to properly spend his time. He's always looking for more excitement. I don't want the same to happen to this child.

amother

Lemon

Sun, Jul 22 2018, 11:21 am

Once your child got used to video games it's hard to get him excited about anything else. I don't know if you can but you may need to make a huge turnaround and spend lots of time with him. At 12 I'd be upfront and explain how his boredom isn't healthy and you'd like to teach him to enjoy developing himself a bit more beyond video games. I'd let him 30-60min over the weekend only. It will be VERY hard but if you are there offering to paint,bake, woodwork with him you may be doing him the greatest service. Video games are addictive so the withdrawal will be painful. Be kind and encouraging but persist. Explain it was your fault that he got into it and you want to help him stop. I'm sure many moms will think I'm nuts but I assure you it can be done.
My son keeps busy with doing some of my errands and shopping, painting, chavrusa, torah hotlines, baking, chores etc. He is a very energetic high maintenance child and I wish sometimes to offer him the easy way out like movies or video games but I persevere because more than anything because I want him to be a healthy productive adult.

amother

Pewter

Sun, Jul 22 2018, 11:26 am

Lemon, you have a lot of good points, but when all his friends are playing video games, this might backfire. It’s a very fine line. I’m not op, but my son plays a lot of video games, and I feel like I’m the only mother who even attempts to put some restrictions. I tell him straight out that I don’t want to be the mean mother but it’s really not healthy to play all day.

amother

Lemon

Sun, Jul 22 2018, 11:39 am

My son knows why we don't let. He respects our decision without (deep) resentment. We make sure he is 'cool' in every other way... Latest bike, ripstick...
There are so many battles we face with our children each day. If we can't choose them wisely what kind of parent are we?!
If you offer him great alternatives and he sees you go out of your way for him I assure you he wont resent you. Maybe on the outside cuz kids have this way of making us feel guilty but not internally. Suppose his friends were all using drugs?! To me it's the same

amother

Red

Sun, Jul 22 2018, 3:27 pm

thats such a hard question.

I really try hard to keep my kids busy: pianolessons, climbing, chessclub, soccer...

I offer what I can. some of them are very active and NEED that programme, otherwise theyd be bored,

others are overwhelmed and ENJOY being alone in a quiet room and draw/read a book to themselves.

I dont offer vidogames , smartphones, youtube or tv.

I absolutly believe that MANY (not all) children get hooked quickly, find it hard to set boundaries, also parents are weak and cant fight it it iften leads to video addictions...even withouit addiction such children often feel bored unless they get their digital 'food'. instead of entertaining themselves they need a multimedial show to entertain them. they loose the ability to actively use their time instead they become passive consumers. Sad

IM NOT AGAINST TECHNOLOGY I LET MY KIDS USE OUR PC (NOT MOBILE DEVICE) FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES OR TO SKYPE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS ABROAD. ONE SON LEARNS HOW TO PROGRAMME A SIMPLE PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE. gsindehayt!

I also try to EXPLAIN to them why we are strict with these rules and I really try to give them the oppertunity to be'cool' by doing other cool things.

are tehy always happy with it? Ha, no! but they can live with these compromises and they seem to understand.

maybe get in touch with a specialist, ask how to wean him off videogames SLOWLY whta alternatives you could offer, how tos pend time with him. invest in great youth literature, take him to movies (if you fo these things) and afterwards discuss the plot, let hi m stick collages about it, let him finish a scary story, let him make a digital photography project or write his own rap about some fictional theme... the print out the text on a tshirt...

let him experience FUN in other ways. hatzlacha, I wish you the ebst of luck and please update us!!!