Married without kids-tefila/mitzvos she'asei zman grama?

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Jul 26 2018, 5:15 pm

I am a young married woman without children, and it may be awhile acc. to doctors... Sad

iyH soon though!

I've always allowed myself lots of leniency with mitzvos she'asei zman grama and tefilah, telling myself that women aren't really required to do them- davening, learning, etc.

(And always assumed I'd have children soon enough that I'd qualify as what I imagine is "really exempt" by having little kids).

If I only woke up early to daven a quick shacharis once a week and instead tried to remember to say a quick "Rambam" 3 sentence tefillah, I'd tell myself that it was ok and had what to rely on... Or that I can sleep most of the way through shul on shabbos and daven for 10 minutes before lunch and it's fine bc I'm a woman.

I don't feel any obligation to do things like go to weekday minyan or say kiddush levana, etc. (in terms of other mitzvos she'asei zman grama only usually men do, and I get that men have different needs than women do in order to feel connected.)

But I feel like I don't bother doing some things that I should be doing, even though I kind of do have time to do them.

Any suggestions to motivate myself?

And are these exemptions given because they're truly "designed" for women with kids and not a single woman or woman without kids?

amother

Teal

Thu, Jul 26 2018, 5:20 pm

Not a full answer, but it isn't about kids or not kids. It's about you having a more important tafkid as Akeres Habayis, the foundation of your home, which takes priority over time-bound mitzvos. A Jewish home is considered so essential that managing it is more important than davening or learning, for example.

As far as motivating yourself to daven and learn, I find that learning about davening (first the structure, the WHY it was set up this way, WHY each piece is necessary and placed where it is, and then the meaning, source, and deeper meaning of individual tefillah) makes me actually feel regret at skipping parts of davening.

Learning may be easier if you start a less formal method, like listening to a shiur while you straighten up, fold laundry, or wash dishes.

Wishing you Nissim, joy and meaning!