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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Why are people so rude?
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 30 2018, 7:35 pm
amother wrote:
There's another possibility. Its that the OP's work was incompetent and has caused terrible harm to the person.

"Gosh, I know your daughter is getting married on Thursday, but I chopped off way too much of the skirt of her dress. But don't worry, knee length wedding dresses are really in! I'm sorry."

"Yes, I know I promised you the work today. But I didn't get it done. I'm sorry that your company will now lose that multi-million dollar account, and you'll be fired."

No clue if that's the case. But there are times when its reasonable to be angry and even a bit rude.

Agree 100 percent.

The problem is that it's all part of a cycle. Consumers/clients who cry wolf or behave badly simply make people in business more cynical and unresponsive. And cynical or unresponsive business people fuel their customers' anger when something goes awry.

The cycle leads to horrible habits on everyone's part, and it's hard to break, even on an individual basis.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Mon, Jul 30 2018, 7:40 pm
amother wrote:
I was about to post something similar. I work in pediatrics. I can either practice according to the books, in which case I would be only be prescribing antibiotics very rarely. But then I'll have parents yelling at me and complaining that I did "nothing" for their very ill child (who actually is not that very ill but of course to the parent it's their poor darling who is being left to suffer by the cruel callous medical professional).

Or I can keep parents happy and order meds or tests that I know they don't need but at least it looks like we're doing something.

Fortunately I have a subset of parents who are willing to listen to reason and don't demand meds for every little thing. Otherwise I'd have quit my job long ago!

Oh we should totally make a spin off! I'm sick and tired of losing my bonus for idiots who complain that I didn't give them meds that are contraindicated for them. Like Levaquin (because I need something REALLY REALLY strong for my URI that I had for a whole entire DAY!!!!! and I know my body, and I don't respond to just a zpak and I know I have a history of spontaneous tendon rupture but Levaquin is really all that works! And I am SIXTY THREE YEARS OLD and should be able to order narcotics when the body that I know oh so well tells me I need it! I'm not a child and should be able to get what I know I need!

ARGHHHH!!!!!

Now that felt good!
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Mon, Jul 30 2018, 7:45 pm
amother wrote:
Oh we should totally make a spin off! I'm sick and tired of losing my bonus for idiots who complain that I didn't give them meds that are contraindicated for them. Like Levaquin (because I need something REALLY REALLY strong for my URI that I had for a whole entire DAY!!!!! and I know my body, and I don't respond to just a zpak and I know I have a history of spontaneous tendon rupture but Levaquin is really all that works! And I am SIXTY THREE YEARS OLD and should be able to order narcotics when the body that I know oh so well tells me I need it! I'm not a child and should be able to get what I know I need!

ARGHHHH!!!!!

Now that felt good!


Hugs to you!

I try to explain to parents that if you REALLY want your child to get better you will not give them medicines that they don't need! It's not helpful or beneficial to your child. Sure, you can go from UC to UC and browbeat the staff until you find someone to give you what you want but that is not good care!! Meanwhile those of us who are trying to practice the right way get a bad name.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Mon, Jul 30 2018, 8:14 pm
Fox wrote:
Agree 100 percent.

The problem is that it's all part of a cycle. Consumers/clients who cry wolf or behave badly simply make people in business more cynical and unresponsive. And cynical or unresponsive business people fuel their customers' anger when something goes awry.

The cycle leads to horrible habits on everyone's part, and it's hard to break, even on an individual basis.


I work in retail and I have to say that most customers are not rude, and a lot are really nice. But the rude ones stand out in a really bad way.

I just had a situation where a customer misunderstood something I said. She started yelling at me right away, and she was so busy yelling that I couldn't get her to just listen to what I was trying to say. If she would have just asked her question nicely, I would have been able to explain it to her and we would have both walked away happy. Instead I added her name to the "list of people whose kids are NEVER dating ANY of my kids".
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 31 2018, 5:01 pm
Leriem wrote:
Whoa! Why the intense anger?

Did you read the post to which that was responding? Another ranted that the rude customer wasn’t having a bad day, this is her personality and she’s a horrible person. Since Amother didn’t see the altercation and doesn’t know either protagonist (or antagonist), she’s basically saying that anyone who acts rude is a horrible person with a lousy character. I object to that. Angrily, yes. It’s a disgusting statement to make.
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geekima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 31 2018, 5:45 pm
There could be any number of reasons why someone is rude. Sometimes, they had an awful day and whatever has happened between you is just the last straw for them and they lose it. Other times? Maybe they just are a rude person in general and you lucked out in interacting with them. Even other times? Maybe you inadvertently pushed a button for them.

In practice, it really doesn't matter why they made the choices they made. 9 times out of 10, though, unless you have a lot of customers who are angry with you, it's probably something more to do with them and their lives than you and I find just letting it go and even davening that whatever is happening in their life that led to the interaction eases for them.

Oddly enough, wishing them well also seems to make the interaction have less power over me, too, and makes it easier to move on with the rest of my day without feeling bad.

If it did seem to be more than just an isolated interaction, that is if I started having more customers reacting to me negatively, then I'd start looking at myself and seeing if there's some way I'm not communicating well or something off in my work.
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