Help! They're so awkward

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Aug 06 2018, 2:13 pm

We're visiting a relative now and my kids are not doing anything really wrong but they're not really right either. They are hanging all around this relative, talking to her non-stop, running to her with every question or complaint even when I'm standing right next to them, and giving a minute by minute account of every of her dogs actions. It's really hard not to be embarrassed of their behavior but none of it is really wrong and I'm trying really hard not to criticize when necessary. I'm trying to keep them busy, distract them... but there is a bunch of them and only one of me and we're not on our home turf! Occupying my kids every second is also not my strong point.

What would you do? Also, how would you feel if you were that relative? She's taking it really well and is being patient but...

Leriem

Mon, Aug 06 2018, 5:16 pm

Sounds like it’s more your problem than your relative’s. Obviously they’re kids being kids, enamored of the dog...what’s wrong with that? If you feel they’re being a burden on her, find ways to take them out periodical and keep them busy, a park, pizza store, etc,

mandksima

Mon, Aug 06 2018, 5:32 pm

I think we (I'm talking to myself especially) tend to be very self critical of ourselves, our husbands and our kids way more than other people. Try to see your kids like others may see them in a more positive light. They seem to you to be awkward and off socially but to others they may be friendly, inquisitive, outgoing, a pleasure to be around and interact with, etc...

I find it comes easily to me to be overly critical and therefore embarrassed of either my dh or my kids with an off social action but it really isn't good for me to see them in that light. We are in this marriage and are their mother in order to be their biggest supporters and rally for them and the potential they have to be the best they can be. I'm not saying to ignore major problems but always look for a positive in their actions. Some kids are very shy and reserved and just stand there quietly or have a hard time interacting at all, can barely answer a question posed to them. Your kids seem to have a great time asking questions and being interested in a wide range of experiences. It really is quite positive. I think it is easier to help them with social boundaries than try to pry them out of an anxious and overly shy shell.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Aug 06 2018, 5:39 pm

Thanks! You really helped me reframe it. I know I'm extremely self-critical and always think I'm doing something wrong. You're helping me realize that it's not me and I should just enjoy my kids.

It really is huge for me.

Iymnok

Mon, Aug 06 2018, 5:42 pm

Your children sound normal. They are happy, they are comfortable around your relative and her pet, they are observant.
Their constant chatter may be a little much at times, so give her a break from then if you feel she would like it.
Some relatives love every part of your children since they don’t see them so often.