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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Bringing baby to a restaurant
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 5:45 pm
Usually I leave the infant at home. There were times when my baby came along ( either she was mamish a newborn or she was “supposed to be sleeping” when the sitter came but she decided to ruin that plan). But it was never at a fancy restaurant where couples go on a night out. It was more like a family restaurant and I made sure the baby was very quiet. At one point she was a tad fussy so I went outside with her. If you take a baby- you take care of the baby. No one has to put up with your babys cries in certain places.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 6:55 pm
sky wrote:


I HATE when amother is used just to put down the choices of another user who was not amother. If you are going to say someone is obnoxious and not add anything else at least do it under you own name.


If you notice, you'll see that other women stated the same choice as she did, but were not put down. She received obnoxious response, because she responded obnoxiously.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 6:58 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
Then don’t go out.


Are adults not entitled to a few minutes of quiet during the day, especially when they paid money for precisely that quiet and peace?

Or does your entitlement to yours and your baby's conveniences override everyone elses?
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 9:28 pm
amother wrote:
Mommy3b2c, you sound quite obnoxious! No, babies don't belong everywhere. They don't belong at formal events or at fine dining expensive resteraunt where the atmosphere is generally quiet and people expect quiet. If you can't leave your baby home, than stay home!


Or you can stay home. I don’t have to never go out because you don’t like seeing babies.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 9:30 pm
amother wrote:
Some of us like to go to a nice restaurant and make a nice date out of birthdays and anniversaries. For DH and me this is a luxury that we save for because it's a unique opportunity to be served and away from screaming kids. I'm not talking about a burger joint , but a nice restaurant. It's rather a disappointment to spend all the money on a babysitter, nice restaurant, parking... sometimes have DH leave work early... and then have the screaming and crying we could have stayed home for and saved a bundle.


Who says my baby will be screaming and crying?
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 9:39 pm
Mommy3b2c, this has zero to do with liking babies or not. When people go to a fine elegant restaurant they don't expect to see babies there, it just doesn't belong. Its a pretty entitled attitude that you can bring your baby "anywhere". At some places babies just don't belong.
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Sebastian




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 10:02 pm
sorry amother. I brought my newborn (6 weeks) who was sleeping to a nice restaurant. Baby didn't make a peep.

I emailed the restaurant beforehand and they had no problem with it either.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 10:21 pm
I have brought little babies into nice restaurants, but I would walk out if the baby was crying. You have to know your baby's temperament, and be willing to leave if the baby is seriously disturbing others.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 10:56 pm
Anon for location/

Went recently to Fireside in Monsey which is a pretty pricey restaurant and there were several toddlers and babies there. Making noise. Parents acting oblivious. I did not enjoy my $200 dinner for 2. Saw the same at Abigail’s in the city.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Thu, Aug 09 2018, 11:33 pm
I also want to point out that while a $200 meal is expensive not everyone feels that way.
We have family friends who go out weekly to $100/person restaurants and don’t see it as a splurge. When we are in town they invite us to bring the entire family including young children.
So for some an expensive meal is just another dinner.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 12:02 am
So Bison and Bourbon is considered a nice restaurant. We took out the kids there one night as a treat. I tried my hardest to keep them quiet at the table. Were people annoyed? I hope not! There were a few families with kids there. My kids still talk about the night out.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 12:10 am
amother wrote:
So Bison and Bourbon is considered a nice restaurant. We took out the kids there one night as a treat. I tried my hardest to keep them quiet at the table. Were people annoyed? I hope not! There were a few families with kids there. My kids still talk about the night out.


Don’t worry about it. For my sons second birthday we decided to do something small and just took out the immediate family to Abigaels for dinner. I’m pretty sure they were happy to get our check. And no, my kids were not screaming and crying. They were sitting at the table and having dinner.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 12:15 am
amother wrote:
So Bison and Bourbon is considered a nice restaurant. We took out the kids there one night as a treat. I tried my hardest to keep them quiet at the table. Were people annoyed? I hope not! There were a few families with kids there. My kids still talk about the night out.


Bison and Burbon is not fine dining.
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SpottedBanana




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 12:16 am
amother wrote:
If you notice, you'll see that other women stated the same choice as she did, but were not put down. She received obnoxious response, because she responded obnoxiously.


Can you people read??? At wits end

It is against forum rules to insult a named poster under amother.

It is actually against forum rules to post under amother when you don't have a darn good reason to do so.

But it is most, most definitely against forum rules to insult a named poster under amother.

I think I will make this my signature.
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moonstone




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 1:57 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Then don’t go out.


Right, those of us who want a nice, pleasant dinner should stay at home because others can't bear to leave their precious Snookums for an hour. Got it.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 2:12 am
I’m also of the opinion that there is still ‘such a thing’ as an adult only space - either by social convention (like a fine dining restaurant) or by social request. (Yes, this is a ladies only party, I’m really sorry if that doesn’t work out for you, we’ll miss you).
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 2:14 am
I just think it makes no sense. The reality is that if your baby is silent the entire time, probably no one will care. However if your baby starts screaming then it's rude and inconsiderate to remain, so what's the point in taking the baby if you might have to leave?

And yes, it's very rude to stay in a quiet restaurant with a screaming baby or at any leisure place that's intended for adults. DH and I were once on a cave tour and someone brought their few month old screaming baby. The baby was already crying before the tour started and at a certain point the guide warned that there could be no turning back beyond that point if you had to leave. She was clearly hinting that they should go, as she said it a few times, but the family didn't leave. We spent the next hour deep underground trapped with a screaming baby echoing though the cave. It was difficult to hear the guide at times. Everyone's experience was ruined by one inconsiderate family. Pretty much everyone was silently angry at that couple, whispering to each other. IMO, the tour guide should've kicked them off at the beginning, but maybe she didn't feel right about it.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 2:15 am
SpottedBanana wrote:
This reminds me of the toddler on a plane thread and the kids playing in the backyard on Shabbos afternoon thread. There are just different philosophies on how far we extend "children should be seen and not heard (loudly)."


Not really. In the kids playing on shabbos afternoon thread, I thought it was totally unreasonable for the op to demand quiet. Kids play outside. That's a natural part of childhood.

It's not necessary for small children to come to fancy restaurants. Those are specifically designed for a fine dining experience, which by definition excludes screaming children.

I'm all for children acting like children. Backyards are good places for that; fancy restaurants are not.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 3:05 am
amother wrote:
Not really. In the kids playing on shabbos afternoon thread, I thought it was totally unreasonable for the op to demand quiet. Kids play outside. That's a natural part of childhood.

It's not necessary for small children to come to fancy restaurants. Those are specifically designed for a fine dining experience, which by definition excludes screaming children.

I'm all for children acting like children. Backyards are good places for that; fancy restaurants are not.

Exactly. If you are going somewhere optional where it's not expected to bring babies, you shouldn't bring your baby.
A plane, a backyard, etc. does not fall into that category.
A fancy restaurant, a shiur, Kol Nidre all do.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 4:56 am
Women must be at home. Can't they cook anyway?

No, there's no way I stop living. Those who complain can leave, and are one of the reasons of low birth. I'm sure they also condemn parents who leave kids. But they for sure don't pay sitters.
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