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Bringing baby to a restaurant
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 5:48 am
Ruchel wrote:
Women must be at home. Can't they cook anyway?

No, there's no way I stop living. Those who complain can leave, and are one of the reasons of low birth. I'm sure they also condemn parents who leave kids. But they for sure don't pay sitters.


Hiring a babysitter doesn't mean you have stopped living. It means you are living with consideration for others.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 6:05 am
amother wrote:
I also want to point out that while a $200 meal is expensive not everyone feels that way.
We have family friends who go out weekly to $100/person restaurants and don’t see it as a splurge. When we are in town they invite us to bring the entire family including young children.
So for some an expensive meal is just another dinner.


I think we all realize some people have more money than others. What is your point?

Sounds like you're saying rich people can be less considerate because for them it isn't fine dining, but just another meal.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 7:05 am
moonstone wrote:
Right, those of us who want a nice, pleasant dinner should stay at home because others can't bear to leave their precious Snookums for an hour. Got it.


My precious snookums has gone to many fine restaurants and never bothered anyone.
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 7:15 am
The consensus seems to be that consideration for others trumps selfishness (or should, anyway). None of the Imamother babies cry at restaurants, and if they did, all Imas would leave immediately, right? If we know (I mean really KNOW) our babies, then we only bring out our calmest and well-behaved, right?

None of us remember going to a fancy restaurant with a sleeping baby at the next table. We always remember the crying baby, though.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 7:25 am
I think I would expect someone to get a babysitter if their baby takes bottles. For am exclusively nursing baby it's not fair to say the mother can never go out and it's understandable that they bring the baby everywhere until they take solids.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 7:31 am
The sight of a baby at a fine restaurant would be enough to bother me - crying or not.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 7:39 am
I used to be judgemental about babies in inappropriate places until I had my daughter who would not take a bottle no matter how starving she was. All the "experts" told me to leave her for a whole day to go to work and just leave formula and eventually she would give in but it didn't happen. She cried and then eventually turned her nights around and slept all day at the babysitter and was up every hour at night to eat. She didn't touch bottles or other food until she was one and I tried every trick in the book and experts . I had my doctor and the hospital's trying to get her to drink formula so she would gain weight but she was stubborn.
To force post partum mothers to stay home or not be able to have nice night's out is a recipe for post partum depression.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 8:07 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
My precious snookums has gone to many fine restaurants and never bothered anyone.

How would you know that?
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 8:10 am
Notshanarishona, exclusively breastfeeding is a choice moms make. Along with this choice comes not being able to take baby places where they don't belong.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 8:14 am
amother wrote:
The sight of a baby at a fine restaurant would be enough to bother me - crying or not.


Exactly. And that’s why you’re the one with the problem and not me.

I think we all agree that it’s selfish to stay in a restaurant with a screaming baby. But if the mere sight of my baby bothers you, just stay home.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 8:16 am
Maya wrote:
How would you know that?


You’re right. Maybe someone was bothered by the sight of their precious face. Their problem, not mine. What I meant to say was that my babies never bothered anyone by crying and fussing. That’s because if they were to cry and fuss I would walk out to calm them down.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 8:23 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
You’re right. Maybe someone was bothered by the sight of their precious face. Their problem, not mine. What I meant to say was that my babies never bothered anyone by crying and fussing. That’s because if they were to cry and fuss I would walk out to calm them down.

Whether we like it or not, there are social norms that dictate what people would do in everyday settings. Not bringing babies to fine dining places is one of them.
Those of us who are bothered by babies in restaurants are not the ones with the problem. No matter how precious your baby is to you, it’s so selfish to expect everyone around you to feel the same.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 8:30 am
Maya wrote:
Whether we like it or not, there are social norms that dictate what people would do in everyday settings. Not bringing babies to fine dining places is one of them.
Those of us who are bothered by babies in restaurants are not the ones with the problem. No matter how precious your baby is to you, it’s so selfish to expect everyone around you to feel the same.


I’ve been to many fine restaurants and seen many babies and children there. I don’t believe that it’s the social norm not to bring them. I don’t need anyone to think my baby is precious. I need them to not be so selfish that they are bothered by the sight of him even though he is sleeping. Consideration works both ways. If everyone is considerate of each other then we can all get along.
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:12 am
We don't eat out often, and eating at an expensive restaurant is even rarer, let's say once every couple of years. Our kids have been to a pizza or bagel type restaurant, but that's it. Even if money was no object I don't think we would take our kids out to an expensive fine dining restaurant. They are very rambunctious, active kids, and I'd be nervous about their ability to sit quietly.

On the other hand, I have no problem with other peoples kids at restaurants. Just because I don't think my kids could sit still for that long without trying to play 'army' with the silverware doesn't mean nobody else's can. My husband and I celebrated our anniversary at Mike's Bistro a few months ago and were so charmed by the family with small children seated next to our table. The 2 kids, I'm guessing around 6-8 years old, were perusing the menu, asking very adorable and polite questions about their choices to the waiter.
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moonstone




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:18 am
notshanarishona wrote:
I think I would expect someone to get a babysitter if their baby takes bottles. For am exclusively nursing baby it's not fair to say the mother can never go out and it's understandable that they bring the baby everywhere until they take solids.


Who said the mother can never go out? By all means, go out to baby-friendly places. Go to the mall, the park, wherever. But don't take your baby or toddler to a nice restaurant where adults are paying for a nice, quiet dining experience.
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moonstone




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:24 am
notshanarishona wrote:
I used to be judgemental about babies in inappropriate places until I had my daughter who would not take a bottle no matter how starving she was. All the "experts" told me to leave her for a whole day to go to work and just leave formula and eventually she would give in but it didn't happen. She cried and then eventually turned her nights around and slept all day at the babysitter and was up every hour at night to eat. She didn't touch bottles or other food until she was one and I tried every trick in the book and experts . I had my doctor and the hospital's trying to get her to drink formula so she would gain weight but she was stubborn.
To force post partum mothers to stay home or not be able to have nice night's out is a recipe for post partum depression.


Postpartum depression? Now you're being ridiculous. Going to nice restaurants is not an inalienable right that every person NEEDS. I think I can safely say that not going to a nice restaurant for several months isn't going to cause anyone postpartum depression. Like I said in my previous post, of course you should get out and about. But that doesn't mean you can bring Junior anywhere you want. Being a mother means not always being able to do whatever you want.
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:29 am
amother wrote:
The sight of a baby at a fine restaurant would be enough to bother me - crying or not.


Why?
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:38 am
amother wrote:
If the babies cried and you couldn't calm them down would you leave?


I'm not the one you asked, but yes. Of course. And I have. Many is the time I had a baby or toddler outside while DH got the rest of the meal packed to go, or that we ate in shifts because of a fussy or tantruming child. It happens, even if you think your kid is well-behaved.
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moonstone




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:51 am
Aylat wrote:
Why?


I didn't write that, but I agree with her. If I'm in a nice restaurant, ready to enjoy my meal, and someone comes in with a baby or little kid, my first though would be "oh, ****". Because I know there's a good chance they're going to ruin my meal.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Fri, Aug 10 2018, 9:51 am
Aylat wrote:
Why?


Because of my expectations of what fine dining restaurant is - child free zone. I just don’t want to see children there. I also don’t want to see people dressed like they are going to the beach. I come expecting a certain environment - and I would be bothered if I didn’t get it.

Does this make me ‘right’? Probably not. (This really isn’t a right or wrong thing) But I’m saying this because I’m baffled at the thought that some other diner would know what bothers me.

Should the other diners cater to my perhaps obnoxious expectations? Probably not. But please don’t presume I’m not bothered.
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