Butter sweatshirts-how do I know whats 'in'?

naturalmom5

Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:31 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Hmmm, butter sweatshirts. Should I be glad for the nerdy school uniform sweatshirts and for not knowing what butter sweatshirts are?

Then like, no one will want to be meshadich with you, because like you sound like such a nebby... Smile

amother

Blue

Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:41 pm

amother wrote:

The misconception here is the assumption that I buy all that is 'in'. I definitely don't. Which is why my daughter didnt assume I would. But if I'm buying something anyway that she needs then why cant it be the latest?! In chinuch I have advised parents to make sure their children don't stand out and have 'some' cool stuff. Enough to keep them 'in the game'.
U wana fight city hall or raise a confident child. My daughter has no clue I'm researching the latest. In her mind we buy what we need etc. But when she has either the latest bookbag, hairbow, or shoes, she feels that much more comfortable walking into class.

If that's your city hall, move to a different city.

NovelConcept

Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:43 pm

I was b'davka taught to never rush out to buy the latest style -- be it clothing or food, etc.

That helps on multiple levels, to train ourselves not to be swayed by mass mindsets all the way to simply saving money.

How much does it cost to upgrade everyone's wardrobes every season to only in-style items?

A couple weeks ago I had a simcha, and when I walked into the hall I was the only colorfully dressed person, surrounded by a sea of black.

I keep thinking about this: It took so long to get me into the color mindset and to finally upgrade my wardrobe (and loving it!) and then, this? Back to black? Back to boring, snoring?
Back to blend-in, stereotypical "frum" dress?
And the little girls in black robes in summer that the "in" crowd paid $70+ dollars for? Why? So confused... I got adorable colorful robes for $35 for my kids that get complimented every time they wear them...

I don't feel the need to keep up with the Joneses, but OP, not trying to knock you either. I just don't get it, but it's okay in my book if this is what your family needs.

NovelConcept

Mon, Aug 13 2018, 11:45 pm

amother wrote:

If that's your city hall, move to a different city.

I just read OP's response that you quoted in your post. It actually sounds like a very balanced mindset she has. Yes, there are times that we should get the latest to help our kids feel that they fit in. I'm with that.

And there are city halls in every town you go to. If it's not clothing or shoes, it's video games and cell phones. And so on and so forth.

amother

Blue

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:03 am

NovelConcept wrote:

It's only a balanced mindset if you live in an outrageously conformist place where even small children are subject to intense peer pressure for externals.

NovelConcept

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:08 am

I disagree with that. There will always be peer pressure. And while I don't believe we need to always "go with the flow" in terms of trends -- in fact, as I posted above, I think it wise to avoid them -- children always have the need to fit in, to feel part of the crowd. There are times that the child may have a NEED to have something the same as others, simply so she doesn't feel like an outsider. Every now and again, I think it's a good idea to give in. Not always, but aith certain times, certain kids, and certain items.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:09 am

amother wrote:

It's only a balanced mindset if you live in an outrageously conformist place where even small children are subject to intense peer pressure for externals.

Oh please.

My two year old started to ask me for “bars” because other two year olds are eating “bars” at the park. It’s human to want what other kids have.

amother

Blue

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:15 am

NovelConcept wrote:

I don't think you should disregard social norms and make your kids stand out, but I think people need to be honest about what they are doing to perpetuate an unhealthy system. The idea of a "must have" expensive item of clothing for an 8-year-old doesn't strike you as over the top?

DrMom

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:22 am

amother wrote:

Holdonaminute!! I know where to buy it I also have google brains. Wink

I just want to know how the other moms knew it would be the 'in' thing this season.
For those that think I'm a disaster mom, my daughter actually said a story and referenced this brand and I cut her short and asked what it is. She said "it's fine mom, girls are wearing it but you don't need to buy it."
She's a really great kid and might I say I tiny tiny bit has to do with the fact that we teach her to be an independent thinker and to purchase with purpose. HOWEVER- U may or may not agree but I feel it is important to get your girls some nice things or 'in' things BEFORE they need to ask for it. This helps them feel at ease knowing you are on top of things and are taking care to make sure they look good etc. This will help them shut down that wandering'what is everyone else wearing' eye.
IRL you all come to me for advice.
If you disagree with me here thats fine...but if you don't mind-could the cooler ones among you tell me which websites to frequent?! Tx

Sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.

Why are you trying to undermine that?

amother

Sienna

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:23 am

amother wrote:

They are trendy now.

Kudos to OP and OPs kid for not demanding one.

All OP wanted to know was how she can keep up with this stuff from a knowledge perspective.

You know - to be a cool mom. In the know, just not in the wallet.

amother

Oak

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 12:35 am

amother wrote:

Holdonaminute!! I know where to buy it I also have google brains. Wink

I don’t keep on top f the trends either but my
Girls tell me what I should buy and I buy it. But this trend is over a year old my girls already got it last year for pesach 2017. Its definitely not a new trend. My
Girls are already on to other companies they are sick of butter. The sweatshirt gets all
Pimply before you
Even wash it.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 4:59 am

amother wrote:

Exactly! I'm not that cool buying all the latest! To those that say it's ridiculous I actually heard a talk once by a mechanech in ey who said to make sure your child isn't the 'nerd' . why don't we all just wear burkas and forget that fashion even existed!!!?!
It's like ppl want to say their piece and vent here and completely disregard what I've even said.
Taint my daughter?! She doesn't know I'm asking about it!! I never said I'd buy her one. But since she needs a sweatshirt this year(old one she wore 2years already) I figure I'd get whats in. And truth is she herself doesn't always like whats in. I think it's the cute pics etc on this sweatshirt that appeals to her- which is appropriate for an 8 yr old.
So back to my question- how did you know pesach 2017 it was in...?!

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 5:48 am

All I can say is that I am ecstatic I don't run in such circles.

Sure, there will always be 'in' things, but having to research brands for an 8 yr old so she doesn't feel like an outsider? If this is what goes on 'in town' I am so glad I don't live there and never have.

My teens buy their own clothes (and they and all their friends pride themselves on finding good deals! Not on outdoing each other on brands).

For little kids, I just bought in regular stores whatever looked good to me. By eight, a kid usually has some input into what she is willing to wear. I would probably buy her the Butter sweatshirt (whatever that is), if she was begging for it and it was in the budget. But I certainly wouldn't berate myself for not knowing ahead of time that this was the trend for 8 year olds! Since when is that a mom's job, to be up on top of the latest fashions in grade two? I think it's more than enough that you are buying at normal up-to-date stores like H&M.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 5:59 am

amother wrote:

Just want to say my 8 yr old is starting 4th grade. Where it matters more than second grade.
And that at that age in her circles clothes don't make you cool. In-toys do.

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 8:22 am

Hi..I am a mom of 2 girls and have bought the butter sweatshirts for cheaper at century 21 but they don’t wash well at all and get pilly after washing....I have also bought them at Costco last year for even cheaper than century 21 and they came with matching sweatpants and those wash very well....
Before I bought them I had no idea they were in fashion I just liked the way they looked and felt and the price was ok with me. I don’t have a problem buying my kids stuff that is in fashion as long as they are quality and they wear it.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 8:48 am

Kol hakavod to you for being such an in tune mom. But really I hope you're not the one parents seek advice from. We bh have money, children have friends, and none of us need the latest trend. Just for that reason alone. We try to teach the children that you dont NEED the latest because EVERYONE has it so I have to. Your children sound like they dont need and expect it but the mom is the one with the need to be stylish. My guess is your 8 year old must be your eldest? Is that correct?

happyone

Tue, Aug 14 2018, 8:51 am

flowerpower wrote:

I skim through 2 pages looking for a link or picture of the shirt but nada! Can anyone send this lazy ( to google) mama a picture please???

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....20CAN
I just googled this and am surprised this is the trend.
Is this what you mean?