Lakewood High-schools for girls not starting tomorrow

keym

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 11:17 am

And adding to the conversation. I have a friend that the vaad got her daughter into school Y- a reasonably sought after school that my friend did not apply to. Because this school has a name of being "academically more challenging" and her daughter scrapes by with 75s and a tutor.
She's afraid her daughter will drown and definitely not thrive there. She spent all summer trying to get into school X- a lower key school, but no one will look at her because "she already has a school".
In the end she's sending to school Y, and praying that she could scrape together enough for sufficient tutoring for her daughter to survive the next four years.

Not always are decisions about externals, or frumkeit, or " the best or finest" school.
Many times its a simple decision that parents need to make sure their child can thrive.

chestnut

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 11:46 am

keym wrote:

And that's exactly why someone's suggestion of the vaad placing the girls with "eeny, meeny, many, moo" attitude is terrible and sacrificing the girls, just so everyone starts school on time. It won't hurt to feel achrayos for other girls and start the school a day or two later, so everyone is placed, hopefully appropriately.

Chayalle

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 12:09 pm

At the end of the day, though, imagine you live OOT and there's one school. You send to that school, whether it's a good fit or not.

Every school has certain things that fit and certain things that don't. My girls go to BK and it's a great school, but we fit in there somewhere to the right of the spectrum. There are areas we may be different. You can't imagine how many times we've met people who are surprised that my girls go there. So what. We appreciate that it's a great school, and we focus on the positive.

There's a point where you have to work with what you have. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to go for what your child's needs are. In fact, that's why we went to BK to begin with - we felt a certain aspect of it suited us. But at the end of the day, you have to work with what Hashem sends you.

It's the end of the day by now.

amother

Brown

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 12:23 pm

Someone mentioned wealth earlier - one of the girls comes from a wealthy family with deep Lakewood connections and they tried everything.

My DH comes from an old Lakewood family that is deeply connected to the yeshiva with yichus and the supposed magic pull on all ends. We got into a elementary school in late July we never applied to. So the myth of yichus getting you in is overrated. However the school we are in is amazing and I thank Hashem for how it all worked out in the end.

keym

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 12:24 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Agreed 100%. But I was simply pointing out that there are so many real reasons. People are very quick to judge parents for not just going where they are placed. But its not always about prestige, internet, or shaitel length.

As an aside, I grew up OOT. It was not so rosy there. I personally know dozens of girls who were sent to Lakewood or Brooklyn to board at 13. Out of my class of 25, 5 totally flunked through school (the lower end of the academic spectrum that the school didn't have resources to help), 5 spaced out or caused discipline issues (higher academic and were so bored).

I think we are living in a generation where we try to get our kids full needs met- academic, social, emotional, behavioral, etc.

So I often understand mothers who are just trying to get into a school that's best suited for their daughter. (Especially if they are not trying for BY or BS).

imasoftov

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 12:25 pm

So I've got an idea, a cabal of LW girl deliberately self-sabotage their school admissions, thereby earning the temporary gratitude of all their peers who don't want to start school and the resentment of those who will have to do a lot of work around the house if they're not in school. Until some parent finds out ...

saw50st8

Tue, Sep 04 2018, 1:33 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I agree that sometimes you work with what you have.

If the 9 girls have slots in schools, the VAAD should just make an announcement that all kids have been offered slots in reasonable choices and now it's up to the parents.

I think the school situations breeds so much ill will in Lakewood and outside!

To the amother who's kid was in a school that didn't fit - you don't actually know that until your kid is in a school.