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I'm too calculated



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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, Sep 06 2018, 9:29 pm
I was raised to be very penny conscious and I am. It saves us a lot of money, I am always looking for a deal, etc
My problem is that in my head I am always calculating the cost. When I pack lunch, I'm thinking 2 slices of bread cost about 30 cents , a Greek yogurt costs a dollar, my banana costs 40 cents, etc
When I change the baby, I think this diaper costs 17 cents, etc.
When I make chicken I'm thinking each leg here is about 1.50, etc
When I order in the restaurant I'm thinking which item gets me the most for the cost, not what tastes best....
Its not that I penny pinch like crazy - I don't want to be like that - but I see the price in everything.
Help me!
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amother
Azure


 

Post Thu, Sep 06 2018, 9:53 pm
Are you me?
Bh as our finances got better I let go a little.
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 06 2018, 9:59 pm
That was me until I went to sem, where I wrote down every single thing I purchased. After that, as I made money as a working single (even though I had worked all thru high school too) I forced myself to spend money. Buy coffees, clothing not on sale, go out to eat with friends. Like Rambam says to get to the middle you have to try the opposite extreme. After many years of working on it, it worked so well I have almost become careless haha (not really. I still can't pay full price for anything)
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amother
Wine


 

Post Thu, Sep 06 2018, 11:02 pm
Over here, it's ocd. Don't feed the beast!
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Thu, Sep 06 2018, 11:17 pm
amother wrote:
I was raised to be very penny conscious and I am. It saves us a lot of money, I am always looking for a deal, etc
My problem is that in my head I am always calculating the cost. When I pack lunch, I'm thinking 2 slices of bread cost about 30 cents , a Greek yogurt costs a dollar, my banana costs 40 cents, etc
When I change the baby, I think this diaper costs 17 cents, etc.
When I make chicken I'm thinking each leg here is about 1.50, etc
When I order in the restaurant I'm thinking which item gets me the most for the cost, not what tastes best....
Its not that I penny pinch like crazy - I don't want to be like that - but I see the price in everything.
Help me!


I pay attention to prices when I purchase them (today I was battling myself over purchasing 38c pullups vs 22c diapers for nightime use) - but I don't think about each time I change my child...

There is a time and place for monitoring costs - when you purchase things, not when you use them. I'm not a therapist - but I wonder if you can replace your accounting thoughts with other thoughts.. on a somewhat forceful basis, so the accounting thoughts cease being so automatic... Like when packing a lunch - fill up your mind on how good things are going to taste. When you change the baby - marvel at how much R&D goes into these diapers.

About the restaurant - that's a tough one. You really need to challenge yourself to purchase the most delicious meal you can...
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2018, 1:54 am
When you calculate costs, you are focused on what you are giving, but not what you are getting.
Try turning things around and thinking in terms of pleasure. My kids really enjoy these sandwiches. My baby will feel much more comfortable in a new diaper. I love the taste of steak, etc.

Good luck.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2018, 4:32 am
Try to put a value on time and emotional exertion.
Ex:
Those diapers are 3c more each, but never leak.
The cuter shirt is $4 more but will make me smile whenever I see it.
Disposables cost more than real, but I can relax after the meal.
Re: restaurants, I am going for the experience. I am paying someone else to cook and clean up. (Put a napkin over the prices).

There are things that are mor valuable than money.
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BH5745




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2018, 7:17 am
OP, I think you are responsible and intelligent. Here in Eretz Yisroel people have to be more calculated out of necessity, as a general rule. And I think of more people were as calculated as you, they could avoid lots of unnecessary expenses and debt.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2018, 5:07 pm
Sorry but I agree with the PP who mentioned ocd. Calculating costs when shopping is a good thing; thinking of how much your paid for every cup of tea and every bran flake is not only not good, it’s not normal.

Now normality may be vastly overrated. If your obsession with costs doesn’t bother you and doesn’t interfere with your life, who cares? Maybe you’re bragging about your arithmetic ability. Maybe it made you your employer’s Bookkeeper of the Year five years in a row.

OTOH if this preoccupation disturbs you—and I think it does, or why post about it?—if it means you get no pleasure out of the things you buy, if you worry about your spending despite living within your means, if you begrudge every penny you spend, if you can’t think about anything else, if it affects your relationships, then seek professional help.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2018, 5:17 pm
I don't have any OCD tendencies whatsoever. I also know how much everything costs. I calculate constantly how many hours I work to pay for something automatically. I have a running total in my head of how much is in my accounts. I constantly know odds and percentages. I also can look at a bill in a restaurant and know by the total of it is off without conscious effort.

I am a quantitative person. OP may similarly be. It is a great trait.
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