Anyone experienced this - wrong impression

amother

Wheat

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 8:49 pm

I was going through something excruciating in my life at the same time that I started a new job. I had to leave that job after about a year due to my personal situation, which I could not share. (The personal situation had to do with various people in my life, don't want to share more.) My boss, toward the end of my stay at that job, called me over to tell me that although I am doing good work, I need improvement in certain areas in order to stay and she hinted maybe I should go get help (therapy) for it. She basically pointed out my flaws to my face, looking at me like I was a nerdy nebach case with severe issues. My point basically is, I always make a good impression, (I have been around long enough), and I left there with a horrible one. And it hurts!!! I know she thinks of me as a person with 'issues that needs work' while really I was dealing with such craziness and trauma in my life and was acting not like myself. Did anyone experience similar or does anyone have any advice to help me with my feelings?

thunderstorm

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:16 pm

Im so sorry this happened to you. I worked with someone in a similar situation and her personal life and hardship that she was going through interfered with her on the job. She had a hard time grasping what needed to be done, she had difficulty training etc all because she had so many other things on her mind. She basically quit and was laid off on the same day. It was mutual. She knew what was blocking her from succeeding and she realized that the best thing was to leave and get help. At that time I felt really bad for her yet I fully understood what the issues were. Not I or anyone else in our office thought of her as a nebach. It just was not the right place at the right time. She did end up getting professional help for what she was going through and she moved on.
Please don't be ashamed. I think the manager was coming from a good place and really wants you to feel better and find healing.
A business has to continue running and sometimes it's just not a shidduch when an employee has to much emotional personal stuff going on. But it's not a reflection of you. It's a reflection of your current circumstance and everyone is just hoping that your life gets easier.

amother

Wheat

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:39 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I appreciate your response very much, but in a way this just confirmed my fears. The issues I was dealing with in my life did NOT have to do with me, but they caused ME to look like I had issues, while at work, due to the trauma of the events occurring in my life and the utter helplessness and aloneness I underwent. In all my past years of work experience, I was an A plus worker in every way. Here, I was pulling through, just barely. My mind was all over the place. I wasn't myself, and it showed in various ways. And that was the impression I made. That was the kind of person they saw me as. Because they only saw me then. Just like you figured that your coworker left and got the help she needed, perhaps my coworkers & boss think the same. That I had emotional issues I needed help with. Which is not true and is so hurtful. I left so I would be able to give my life situation the full time and attention that it needed. I realized that I couldn't work at the same time.

amother

Wheat

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:44 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

op here I just reread your post and realized I interpreted it wrong in my previous reply. This does bring me a sense of relief. Thanks!