Appropriate son/husband behavior

simcha2

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 8:30 am

amother wrote:

Amother wine, girls walking around in bra's is not a comparison to men walking around in underwear. In some houses this is the norm.

In some houses girls walking around in underwear is the norm. Both are not tznius. In the same way it isn't ok for a girl of a certain age to walk around in underwear, the same is true of a boy.

Tznius applies equally to men and women. This attitude that it is more on women is very detrimental.

When you go to the beach there are many men just in bathing suits without a top, this should be as equally problematic for a frum person as women in bikinis.

(And yes, this is coming from the MO one).

amother

Wheat

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:11 am

I grew up in a pretty frum house and my father always went around in his boxers (not underwear briefs. Boxers. Like shorts.) Sometimes with an undershirt, sometimes without. I never had a problem with it, it was just normal, especially on a hectic friday afternoon

simcha2

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:21 am

amother wrote:

Simcha2, no, tzenuis does not apply equally to men and women. Men have their Halachas & we women have ours.

Acting in a tznius-dig manner does apply equally. Dressing in a respectful way is part of that.

Just because someone grew up with this as normal doesn't make it appropriate. Many very Frum people grew up in homes where loshon hara was spoken, would we say that makes it ok?

Even more of an issue, OP is bothered by it. Not being sensitive to others is also not acting in a tznius manner.

amother

Beige

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 9:36 am

amother wrote:

Simcha2, no, tzenuis does not apply equally to men and women. Men have their Halachas & we women have ours.

We try to keep up a beit mikdash me’at

וַעֲשֵׂה לָהֶם מִכְנְסֵי-בָד, לְכַסּוֹת בְּשַׂר עֶרְוָה; מִמָּתְנַיִם וְעַד-יְרֵכַיִם, יִהְיוּ

Pants should be worn. By men.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 10:17 am

I have all boys, everyone walks around in boxers, I don't care. It's not like they'd ever do it in front for guests. Also, we're talking real boxers, so it's not much different than shorts. Breifs or other underwear-looking underwear would be a problem.

pushingforward

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 10:19 am

I would probably feel very uncomfortable if my husb would walk around in boxers, dressing appropriate is important for men,and boys, just as much as it is for women,and girls.
Would they ever do it when there are guest(even kids) around?

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 10:33 am

Every house in different. My husband won't leave our room in pajama pants, he will first put on a robe. I never saw my father in pajamas either, he was always fully dressed in a suit by the time he came down. (My husband is yeshivsh, my father is a modern Orthodox businessman). But if you're uncomfortable, which I definitely would be, talk to him!

sirel

Thu, Sep 13 2018, 2:43 pm

Quote:

as opposed to a robe with no undergarments, not as opposed to shorts Smile

EishesYo

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 12:32 am

amother wrote:

Do guys in a yeshiva dorm walk around like that?
For that matter, do girls in camp or in a seminary dorm walk around in their bras?
Usually people want to maintain a minimum of modesty and dignity even in front of the same gender.

In some places they seriously do!

Many of the guys I ‘hang out with’ wear shorts and undershirts...

Mommyg8

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 12:38 am

simcha2 wrote:

I actually agree with this!

Tznius is for both men and women, but I think the specifics are a little different due to differences of the male and female anatomy. But the general concept applies to men as well as women.

It's been a long time since I've been in school, but wasn't Shaul praised for his tznius? I'm sure there are other examples, I just can't think of them off hand.

amother

Beige

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 12:49 am

sirel wrote:

Quote:

as opposed to a robe with no undergarments, not as opposed to shorts Smile

The point is the Tanach erva reference is to men - and their thighs should be covered in this particular instance... so really how long are those boxers?

(this was in response to the comment that men have lessor modesty requirements.)

ROFL

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 12:58 am

I think a lot of this discussion has to do with how you are brought up. BUT I think if boxers have in any way certain parts of your body poke or protrude out then those are not the right things to wear If they are seriously like shorts then it would not be an issue ! By the way the ads that came up with this post show very handsome young men in boxers ( with nothing poking out )