S/o appropriate for older ds to wear briefs? and dd shorts

Chayalle

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 9:28 am

amother wrote:

No it’s not ok. Tznius rules are the same for siblings as for strangers.
If you were asking about wearing short sleeves vs long sleeves I would understand the question. Many people would be a little more lenient with a brother than a stranger. The line might move a couple inches shorter.
But underwear? Are you kidding?

You are contradicting yourself.

amother

Orchid

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 9:52 am

Chayalle wrote:

You are contradicting yourself.

yes I’m aware it sounds like that.
The halacha is the same but realistically what people do isn’t always exactly the same. Many people are slightly more lenient. I didn’t say the halacha is more lenient.
People might choose to use every available leniency in tznius halacha when its only siblings. Maybe they won’t wear socks or will wear loose baggy pants or wear short sleeves that barely reach the elbow. These things have been okayed by lenient rabbanim when with strangers. So there is room to be lenient with a brother when normally you wouldn’t with a stranger.
But there is no rav that will ever ok a girl wearing a tank top and shorts with a stranger. So don’t expect to use that with a brother. And certainly not underwear!

saw50st8

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 10:12 am

amother wrote:

I find some women don't (want to?) understand. Women are like magnets for male eyes. It takes a LOT LOT of effort for a man to look away from an attracting woman and thighs are very attracting to a male. It is not as simple as 'don't look.' They fail just like you (may) fail on your diet. For an unhealthy man the battle can be impossible. Just as you wouldn't spread sugary tasty cake and chocolates all over your table if a person struggling on a huge diet or if a diabetic were to enter your home, don't spread your attracting 'goodies' for healthy or unhealthy males to see. Human decency. Men should watch their eyes as best as they could, women should watch not to attract men as best as they could. Noone is here on a free ride!!!

This is really what is wrong with society.

Women are not responsible for making sure men don't lust after them. A girl should not have to worry about her brother being attracted to her thighs. Her brother???? That's incestuous.

Ruchel

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 10:15 am

OMG no the rules for siblings are not the same.
The rules for a stranger in and outside your home even aren't the same.

As for the ood comparison, ewwww. NO, not all men "like thighs". Especially their sister's. But now, diet wise, I'll be fine because I'm nauseated.

mommy3b2c

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 10:16 am

amother wrote:

No. The halachos of tznius in front of a brother are not the same as with strangers. Nor are the halachos of negiah. Or yichud. Brothers are not strangers.

Chayalle

Fri, Sep 14 2018, 10:33 am

amother wrote:

There definitely are Halachic leniencies within families and siblings. There are those who are more stringent, but there certainly is room for leniency.

I remember once having a whole discussion about this with regard to family swimming, for example. There are those who are machmir but those who are not, with regard to tznius level and brothers and sisters swimming together.