Dd 14 didn’t get period do you send to school with a pad?

amother

Wine

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 8:14 pm

I wouldn't SEND her to school with a pad. I'd offer that option, though.

I would bring up that we don't know when her periods will start, and it could be any day or not for another few months or even years. If she gets her period unexpectedly, it could be very light or heavy. Would she be more comfortable having a pad with her just in case? Or would she be okay with using folded toilet paper? Should we make a secret code to use if she needs to call to have me bring her a pad? Would she like to have a "disguised" pad in her briefcase? A cloth pad? Would she be comfortable asking the school nurse or secretary for one?

Really this conversation is appropriate for a 9 or 10 year old too, certainly a 12 year old - you never know when it will start.

amother

Olive

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 8:16 pm

I just want to mention that girls usually get their first period around the same age their mothers did. If you also got your period when you were a little older, then that's how it probably runs in your family. If you got your period at the average age of around 12 though, then I think it's worth mentioning to your daughter's doctor that she hasn't gotten her period yet.

ra_mom

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 8:20 pm

Give her a little wristlet with a pad, an individual wipe and an individual packet of Advil to keep in her school backpack in case of emergency. She will get used to having it around, get comfortable the idea.

Demonstrate how to line a pad in a pair of underwear. Have her practice with you around.

Keep the conversation going. Talk about what it's like when one notices blood for the first time. Go through scenarios and she won't be shocked. Problem solve together. She might have some questions about what to do if she gets it in school and needs to call you about coming home but doesn't want the secretary to know.

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Apr 11 2021, 2:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

TwinsMommy

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 8:25 pm

my daughter got her first heavy one at 10. Since then she always has a cute little makeup case in her backpack with 4 or 5 pads. no big deal, it just stays in her locker all day and nobody needs to know. the whole tiny cute case can come with her to the bathroom rather than---- oh look, she's carrying a pad!

amother

Plum

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 9:05 pm

amother wrote:

I have to disagree on that one. It very often goes according to the father's family. That's why my pediatrician said regarding my kids. I got it at 12. So far my 2 girls were about 14 and my now 14.5 year old still didn't get it. No reason to worry.

Water Stones

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 9:27 pm

amother wrote:

Yes, I was 14 for my first period and my mother and her mother 11. I don’t have any sisters so I can’t do a compare, but my father mother was 15 for first period. So maybe I’m like her??

It sounds disgusting I’m sorry !!! but starting at 11 years old, my mother put a panty liner in my each shoe to use in case because I didn’t like to carry a purse. Wrapped in flat paper, so it was clean.

When I got to be 14 I liked to carry a small purse so I kept a pad in case.

amother

Olive

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 9:33 pm

amother wrote:

I just wanted to put it out there so she's aware but from my own experience I could say that it makes perfect sense what you're saying. I got my period at 12 while my daughter got it at 9! I had always read that you start periods and menopause around the same age your mother did so I thought we were an exception. I would often joke with my husband that she takes after him. Anyway, I'm glad to find out that this is actually common. Thanks!

DrMom

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 9:45 pm

amother wrote:

She doesn’t carry a bag or purse. She is very shy and I’m not sure she will agree to take a pad.

What does shyness have to do with it?

Besides, I doubt a *shy* person wants to ask someone *else* for a pad, or bleed all over her skirt.

Once she gets her period every month, she'll have to carry something, shy or not.

Time to get over it.

Gneshe

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 9:53 pm

A mother once shared that her daughter keeps an envelope with a pad inside, in her backpack. In case she needs it, she can always say she needs to take the envelope to the office and noone has to know where she's really going. Just an idea.

pause

Sun, Sep 16 2018, 11:15 pm

amother wrote:

Nope. Girls often have the tendency of their father's sisters. Please don't rely on when "you" got your period that your DD will get it around the same age, whether at an average age, youngish or oldish.

smileyfaces

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 12:14 am

Definitely have her keep a pad in her bag and it could be hidden. If it does happen at 10am there’s still 4-5 hours left of school whereas if she was out with friends she could find an excuse to come home early.

As far as changing a pad during school, I was always so embarrassed for my friends to know when I had my period and so I didn’t want to bring a pad with me to the bathroom. If you brought your backpack or a makeup bag, etc people might know you are changing your pad. Looking back I can’t believe how stupid it was but At the time it was a big deal to keep it a secret.

DrMom

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 4:34 am

pause wrote:

"The age at which girls reach s-xual maturity is influenced by ‘imprinted’ genes, a small sub-set of genes whose activity differs depending on which parent passes on that gene, according to new research published today in the journal Nature."

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research.....-from

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 17 2018, 7:34 am

IN my country we aren't taught 14 is late or anything special for a white girl (google it, not going to stand abuse about this fact Imamother detests). That said my friends didn't discuss it, esp not in details, and I didn't go to Jewish school. I don't like it when people say they "send with the kid". The kids is often old enough to be asked? I think if she wants it's a great idea to give her some pads in her schoolbag. I asked mine because she's tall and all though she's young and she didn't want

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Nov 04 2022, 12:57 am

amother Mint wrote:

The first time you get your period it's usually extremely light. I wouldn't worry so much. I didn't even tell my mother when I had my first cycle - the second time around it was more regular and I needed protection... But at that point I was expecting it already.

Don't be so sure....always be prepared. One of my heaviest of my life we're the first few I had. I couldn't go more than a few minutes without changing. I did not know it wasn't normal and I could not understand how people function with this situation every month. Took me years to know it wasn't normal (didn't have normal family situation - I was pretty much on my own. My mother didn't take it seriously. Nobody to talk to who could tell me it's not normal)