9 year old son comment

amother

Babypink

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 3:01 pm

While eating the first meal erev Yom Kippur, my 9 year old said to me and my husband "touch each other for the last time before Yom Kippur..." I was left dumbfounded to say the least.
He goes to a yeshivish school. I'm wondering if his rebbe mentioned it? I'd think 4th grade is young for that, no?

amother

Beige

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 3:17 pm

Ha. Kids hear and know everything. Some from friends, others from books, and some from teachers.
Mind you, boys learn a LOT of details in learning that girls only hear about when theyre near adults. There was a whole thread about this once...

animeme

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 3:20 pm

Most likely, rebbe told them the things that aren't allowed on y"k, and one was "Mommys and Tottys can't touch each other." As in every day touching. And he took it as he learned it.

little neshamala

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 4:34 pm

amother wrote:

So funny...my 15-year-old reads everything she can get her hands on... and she still doesn't understand how a baby can look like the father... 😊

I dont mean to derail this thread, but you really should consider telling her yourself. There have been so many threads on imamother about all the horrific misinformation people were "taught" by their friends, and all the pure p-rn type shmutz they found along the way, while trying to clarify the unbelievable facts they were hearing for themselves.
If she hears the truth with the right hashkafa from her mother then she wont believe a lot of nonsense and garbage that many girls hear.

Emotional

Tue, Sep 18 2018, 4:58 pm

little neshamala wrote:

I have been giving her little tidbits of information here and there, slowly. She'd be too overwhelmed and horrified to hear it all in one little speech...

FranticFrummie

Wed, Sep 19 2018, 4:24 pm

Emotional wrote:

I have been giving her little tidbits of information here and there, slowly. She'd be too overwhelmed and horrified to hear it all in one little speech...

Totally agreed. I was very honest with DD about the facts of life, how her body works, etc. I only told her enough to satisfy her curiosity, and she was very clear about looking bored when she didn't want to know any more.

I thought she had gotten the basic idea, because she's seen medical anatomy books of male and female parts. One day she says to me "Mama, how does the baby get IN there?" LOL

amother

Tan

Wed, Sep 19 2018, 10:29 pm

I was so happy that my ds (age 7) said that eating and drinking are not two separate issurim as my kindergartener learned but that the 5th one is that mommy and totties need to be apart. And that my older ds (age 9) asked me if I ever went to a Mikva because he learned that mommies go sometimes, too.

So much better than us girls whose teachers either gloss over or completely skip anything they're not comfortable teaching.

Let the kids get an education from the best source and not from their friends or who knows where else...

Cheiny

Wed, Sep 19 2018, 11:44 pm

amother wrote:

Yes obviously his rebbe told him that one of the forbidden things during YOM Kippur is for mommy and tatty to be together...

little neshamala

Wed, Sep 19 2018, 11:53 pm

amother wrote:

I just wish the girls wouldn't get the glossed over version. Its mainly about our bodies, but we dont hear anything until near adulthood. But the boys get introduced to all the topics in elementary school.

amother

Tan

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 1:04 am

little neshamala wrote:

I just remembered I ranted about this once.
Smile

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....28935

Bravo. If only the educators out there would listen...

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 6:01 am

15 year old imho can hear that Hashem makes both people be the parents, and can hear of genetics. You don't have to talk relations.

As for the boy's comment I'd be grossed out too, but then I'd ask him details to see what he knows and where.

Boys do learn things, but they're so detached from real that it doesn't mean they "know"

amother

Blonde

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 6:49 am

I assume his teacher would have specified harchakos, not tashmish. Which (at least the way I learned it) are required on Yom Kippur.

I think the teacher did a great job here. You may not have to tell the whole truth, but a partial truth is a million times better than a lie (like the classic "eating and drinking are two separate inuyim").

princessleah

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 12:57 pm

When I was in 6th grade, I refused to hug my mother good night on YK. She got insulted, I explained to her that my teacher said "you're not allowed to show affection" is one of the issurim.

my mother responded, ''oh for pete's sake, he was talking about not having relations!"

observer

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 2:58 pm

little neshamala wrote:

You can change that for your own daughters. Teach them whatever you want them to know. Can't change the world, but at least we can give our own daughters the info we want them to have.

little neshamala

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 3:40 pm

observer wrote:

You can change that for your own daughters. Teach them whatever you want them to know. Can't change the world, but at least we can give our own daughters the info we want them to have.

I plan on giving the information. I still think its wrong that in highschool you hear the words "ad kan b'rashi" or glossed over and even totally skiped topics, when ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BOYS get a basic explanation. Im not asking for kallah class education at all-im asking for our girls to get the same BASIC explanation as our boys.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Sep 20 2018, 4:35 pm

Ruchel wrote:

15 year old imho can hear that Hashem makes both people be the parents, and can hear of genetics. You don't have to talk relations.

I would think that today it's extremely rare for a 15 yr old not to have some idea of s@x. Knowledge today is so much more accessible. It's enough that one girl in the entire grade knows, for everyone to find out. I think only in the absolutely most sheltered areas of the world is this possible, or if the girl is not so social/doesn't talk personal things with friends.

Personally, I think it's wrong to hide such basic information from kids at that age. It's like putting blinders on them, making them into idiots, really. It's like the one kid in the class in grade six who still believes in the tooth fairy.

Aren't these kids ever exposed to nature? Haven't they ever seen two dogs mate, or herd of breeding horses and so on? You really have to hide a kid from the world to have her reach the age of 15 with no knowledge of how a father is a father.