Serving Buffet Style Vs. Serving Individual Portions

leah233

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 8:29 am

In my own house I serve plated because they are few enough people that I feel everyone should get their own personalized plate. With or without the side dishes they (don't) eat.

When I'm co hosting a Sheva Brochas I also prefer plated for health reasons. I've seen too many people overfill or refill their plates by buffet style events. Not because they seemed hungry and needed two suppers but rather because the food was in front of them they ended up overeating.

watergirl

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 8:41 am

leah233 wrote:

You are trying to control people’s health at a simcha? Why is that your job? I really hope my hosts arent looking at how much food I put on my plate at a simcha or table. Let people make their own choices about portion size. Taking way too much and leaving half is different, but thats not what you mention here.

pesek zman

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 8:44 am

watergirl wrote:

Thank you!! This seems so controlling and so odd to me! Why would someone restrict the food intake of their guest? Why would someone want to control how much food another adult eats?

leah233

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 8:49 am

watergirl wrote:

I'm not controlling anyone. I noticed (and have seen in many health publications) that people tend to overeat by buffet style events. Therefore I don't want to make them.

Anyone who asks for more can have. No matter how obese they are.

.

amother

Violet

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 8:59 am

leah233 wrote:

I actually overeat when someone plates for me at a simcha. I would take less at a buffet.

I think this over filling a plate at a buffet sometimes happens at huge smachot or hotels. But people in private homes are usually too embarrassed to heap their plate.

Anyway I also think it's controlling to curb what adults eat. If they are overfilling and then throwing it out, that would annoy me.

imasinger

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:02 am

People really seem to have strong preferences about one style over another!

I doubt this thread will change minds any more than the political threads do, but both are interesting reading.

Signed,
A family style server

leah233

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:26 am

amother wrote:

To each their own. I'd a lot a rather see people throw food in the garbage than overeat

As the old Yiddish saying goes "better throw it out than throw it in"

(It's a play on words because in Yiddish "throw it in" is also used as a very negative euphemism for overeating . Similar to "stuff your face" in English)

Last edited by leah233 on Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:29 am; edited 1 time in total

watergirl

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:29 am

leah233 wrote:

There’s a hebrew saying for throwing food away. “Baal tashchis”.

leah233

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:32 am

watergirl wrote:

There’s a hebrew saying for throwing food away. “Baal tashchis”.

Over eating is also throwing away food. It isn't going for any more constructive use in you than in the garbage can. To put it nicely

There is a mitzvah of V'Nismartem Moed L'nafsoseichim that is being ignored in the process.

pesek zman

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:38 am

leah233 wrote:

Over eating is also destroying food. It isn't going for any more constructive use in you than in the garbage can.

There is a mitzvah of watching V'Nismartem Moed L'nafsoseichim that is being ignored in the process.

Who are your guests? Are they all (nebuch) 500lb people we see on Jerry Springer, whose lives are literally in danger? More likely they are average weight adults, some more, some less, emphasis being on ADULTS not animals. By Putting food in front of them you are not MAKING them do anything, eat or otherwise. And what are you cooking that's so unhealthy that you're so concerned that people shouldn't eat too much of? If the meal is healthy and well balanced, full of veggies and whole grains and lean protein, no one is going to put their life in danger by eating 2 helpings of it

bigsis144

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:40 am

It’s right there in the names for me - “family style” is more comfy, convenient for the hosts, welcoming, etc. Everyone can sit and pass food around as they wish, it’s conducive to conversation since people don’t have to leave the table to take/receive seconds (going to the kitchen for seconds is much more embarrassing than “please pass the potato kugel”)...

While “plating” is for caterers or restaurants - it feels more formal and/or elegantly presented, but also ultimately not concerned with either the guest’s actual taste or the wasted food.

Ema of 5

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:40 am

leah233 wrote:

Why do you get to decide if someone is eating because the food is there and not because they are hungry? And why should they need to ask permission for more?
What I’ve seen many time, which doesn’t work for me but works for others, is people making individual plates and then ALSO putting out serving plates/trays/whatever you want to call them.

watergirl

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 9:44 am

pesek zman wrote:

This.

leah233

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 10:02 am

eema of 3 wrote:

For my last post on this thread.

I said that I'd rather see people throw out food than overeat. Watergirl said that it is baal taschis. I was addressing that point

google "overeating at buffets" for greater elucidation of why I don't want to make them.

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 10:32 am

either way I wud say there shud be enough food to go around the crowd, plated or family style. when I got married & went mil for seudos shabbos yt ( she still had lrg fam home & took more than one fam of her married kids at one) if platter was in mid of table there wasnt enough pieces of kugel on that plate as the amount of people, so what ended up happening her teeanage boys grabbed first they shudnt stay hungry not always stayed for rest. many times she brought platters to table & served portions from there, (asking everyone what they wanted, that way she was able to join while serving & not havta stay stuck in kitchen). she wud ask me you want meat, yes, how much a little, potatoes yes how much little......I got lets say one small slice shoulder steak & one spoon potatoes.... ( when u answered a little for my mom u got a full plate...didnt know her measurments) then I was uncomfortable asking for more or taking from center plate after that even if there was more on platter.

dankbar

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 10:55 am

my hub claims that men dont like to be bothered serving themselves whatever u put into their plate & is in front of them theyll eat, as long as the food is good. as far as buffet style he claims once they r seated they r too lazy to get up from their seat to get more. as far as women are concerned I think many women are always on a diet so if u get served plated & get a slice kugel + a knish on ur plate & the mannered way is to eat it.....u get stuck. in such a case she wud prolly just fill her plate with salad if there r no veggies in the portion....

dankbar

Fri, Sep 21 2018, 10:57 am

since my dh hates to serve himself, when I have guests I serve him a portion from the family platter knowing what he likes & let my guests serve themselves from the platters.