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How to explain grandma died....time sensitive



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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 8:55 pm
To a 3 and 5 year old. They will be at a babysitter tomorrow so we can go to levaya....
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 8:56 pm
Was she sick beforehand? If so they know she was sick?
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 8:57 pm
I'd say something like "mommy and daddy are really sad today because grandma passed away. She went to be with Hashem in shomayim. So she is happy because she is in a better place, but we are sad because we won't be seeing her anymore. But don't worry; Hashem is taking good care of her."
This is what I told my 4 year old; he seems to have handled it well.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 9:01 pm
My kids were that age when DH's grandmother died. We told them that Bubby went to shamayim to be with Hashem and we wouldn't be able to see her again until Moshiach is coming so very important to do extra mitzvahs. We explained that she was very old and that Hashem didn't make bodies to last forever, but B"H her neshama is forever. We were so concerned about how/ what to tell and how they would react and maybe they'd get scared about death or think we were going to die soon too, etc. But they listened, said they were sad not to see her again and then immediately went on to other topics.... like toys and ice cream.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 9:05 pm
If you feel that you need some time to think about the right way to express it to them, you can tell them that you and dh need to take care of something. Then, at the right time, you can tell them about her passing.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 9:09 pm
Thank you , these responses are very very helpful. She was very very sick and older but they didn't realize how sick she was. We live in different cities so don't see her that often, unfortunately:(
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 9:33 pm
There are some books that very gently touch on the topic. Paper Dolls by julia donaldson is a lovely book with just a gentle mention that can be an age appropriate way to start a discussion
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 22 2018, 10:17 pm
Tell them in an even tone, and answer any questions they have in an equally even matter-of-fact tone. Don’t elaborate more than the questions asked. No tears. No hysteria. Worked surprisingly well for my kids.
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erm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2018, 1:34 am
when my mother passed away, I told my 5 yr old daughter that her grandmother went to a beautiful garden to be near Hashem. I also told her that every time she does a mitzvah, Hashem tells her grandmother "look and see how special your granddaughter is, she is doing ..."
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2018, 2:21 am
amother wrote:
There are some books that very gently touch on the topic. Paper Dolls by julia donaldson is a lovely book with just a gentle mention that can be an age appropriate way to start a discussion


I love that book!
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Sun, Sep 23 2018, 2:51 am
My kids were about that age when their Bubby who they were very close with passed away suddenly.
I was crying when I told them that I'm very sad because Bubby went up to Hashem and we can't see her anymore. I told them she is happy and every time we do a mitzvah here, it makes her happy.

They took it very well and were not traumatized at all.
To this day, about 3 years later, one of my kids will randomly wave to Bubby in Shamayim and say Hi Bubby, I miss you! Look, I'm doing mitzvos!
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