Don't ask my son if he works here

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Oct 03 2018, 8:40 pm

dankbar wrote:

I do understand the OP. Her point was that people are judging her son with a lowered status of a lifestyle ( that hes is a working boy,which he is not, rather than a yeshiva guy, which he is) due to fact that he was wearing more of a casual shirt. She meant to say why people are judging what type of guy he is based on his externals, his dress....People took her opening wrong.....Yes anybody can be mistaken as the sales guy instead of the customer....but she felt sensitive because of the judgement factor!

If they were say, audibly making fun of him for working at the store - that would be judgement. What they did was ask him a question assuming that he worked at the store - which as this thread has highlighted, happens to a lot of people.

People don't go shopping looking to make moral judgement of the people working there. They go to buy stuff - and if that requires a staff person - they make a best guess at who that is. Personally I'd prefer being asked if I was a sales person - then 'can you help me find a sales person'.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 3:47 am

Last winter, DD was in a store that caters to teen pop culture. She loves this store, and knows the layout like the back of her hand.

One day the store was really crowded, the cashiers were slammed, and there weren't enough employees around. DD started helping people find what they need. She held down the floor for about 45 minutes.

When things slowed down a bit they asked how old she was. She said 15, and they told her that the minute she turns 16 she automatically has a job. The manager gave her a card, and told her that she could skip the interview process entirely. Very Happy

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 4:02 am

Kiwi13 wrote:

I once took my car to the shop and then, as I walked into the attached shopping mall, a guy motioned to me near a tire display and said “I’m thinking about some tires!” I was like, “cool.” He was like, “you don’t work here?” “Nope!” But actually I thought the whole thing was pretty cool, it was the only time ever in my life that anybody assumed I knew anything about cars. (I don’t.)

I like.

Before Y''T I was at Home Depot for a piece of wood. I overheard a customer asking a worker if they have a screen that's on the heavy side. The worker said they only have the flexible screens. The customer was about to turn around, quite dejected. I said, ''Excuse me, I think I know what you're looking for''. I walked him over to the aisle and showed him the item I had in mind. He was overjoyed, it was just what he needed!

I don't work at Home Depot, but I get a personal thrill when I can help someone.

amother

Purple

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 4:08 am

amother wrote:

I prefer to pay a little extra at Ace or McClendons - especially if it's something I know I'll have questions about.

[Edited by Rubber Ducky as Mod]

Sadie

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 4:17 am

I was once asked if I worked in a high end department store when I was shopping with a coat, purse, and rain boots on. I was actually working retail elsewhere at the time so I guess I gave off helpful vibes.

Working retail, or being mistaken for someone who might work retail, is not something to be ashamed of.

chanchy123

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 4:35 am

That happens to me all the time, on the other end. I see someone who seems to know what their doing in a store and I ask them if they work in the store. I must be really bad at identifying cues because I am often wrong and people are offended many times. Not only Jews, not only frum people and not only in the US (although I don't know that I've been in a non-grocery frum shop in the US in the past 14 years). I've been asked if I work in the shop as well.
It is quite common for people to be offended if they are mistaken for shop workers. I guess they want to be treated like costumers and not service providers when they actually are costumers.

Thu, Oct 04 2018, 6:14 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I have been asked if I work at the store more than once or I wasn't even asked , I was just asked where something is. It's not an insult. One person apologized and said I was just so friendly to everyone that she thought I was the sales lady. Lol.
OP, sometimes when we are insecure we look too deeply into every scenario and comment. People are not thinking less of your son because of his shirt. Many teenage bachurim work temporarily in retail during the Yom Tov season, while they are off of school, to help with the influx of shoppers.

YES!!!
Even in ultra orthodox communities. And I see it as a very very positive aspect of a bochur. Definitely better than hanging around in odd places with other bochurim doing NOTHING. ALL DAY. ALL MONTH. Of bein hazmanim. Good for all of those bochurim who have the sense to spend the time with something worthwhile.