Sheva Brachos on my own- ok to ask for help?

amother

Pink

Wed, Oct 10 2018, 1:41 pm

I helped with sheva brachos for a similar situation.
We had rolls, deli platters and a few salads.
Store bought pareve ice cream for desert.

But even that adds up and a few people chipped in for it.

maze

Wed, Oct 10 2018, 2:52 pm

There's nothing wrong with being open and honest with her and correcting the misunderstanding. Don't feel pressured to do what she wants if you can't do it. You're doing an enormous favor for someone you don't know well; you get to decide budget, how many guests, venue. Is there anyone else who can help you?

amother

Azure

Wed, Oct 10 2018, 3:03 pm

CatLady wrote:

From the looks of it, OP is being asked to put together a second wedding reception for the people who couldn't make it to the actual wedding. That was clearly not her intent, so I wiould call the people on the list and tell them that we're having a Pittsburgh-style cookie table SB for Jack and Diane. You explain the tradition behind it (how people couldn't afford a multi-tiered wedding cake back in the day so everyone baked their best cookies and it was a showing of love from the community). Then, you ask what cookies they're bringing, and to please bring the recipe as well. You can do a fancy coffee bar (different flavour syrups, whipped cream, sprinkles), an assortment of teas, and sodas. Fifty dollars ought to cover the drinks and the disposables, as well as a few batches of cookies.

Jack and Diane aren't from Pittsburgh. They're from the Heartland (Indiana). Jack's gonna be a football star, y'know. Diane, well, given her back story, I'm guessing she's not frum.

Another idea is breakfast for dinner sheva brachas.

watergirl

Wed, Oct 10 2018, 3:09 pm

amother wrote:

Oh yeah, life goes on. Long after the thrill of living is gone.

Just sayin’.

amother

Sienna

Wed, Oct 10 2018, 5:52 pm

you don't have to tell her about the chessed piece you can always say you know people who would love to get involved love to be msemeach chosson v kallah or even that people do it for the segulah...
anyway she probably has so much on her mind right now that she won't delve into it or necessarily even care to ask

hatzlocha

amother

Ginger

Wed, Oct 10 2018, 9:27 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you OP for being so kindhearted. I was clueless when I was a kallah (recent BT, new to the city I was living in) and so many people banded together to make my chasuna and make sheva brachos. I cringe looking back at how naive and unaware I was. I had no understanding of how much money, time, and effort is involved in all these things. I also had no idea how hard it is to put together someone else's chasuna or sheva brachos while juggling family, work, and life responsibilities. I was appreciative at the time, but a million times more appreciative now, 20 years down the road. May you be gebentched!

I was another clueless kalla. FFB, older single... new country/ community... I too cringe at my taking and lack of sufficient expression of gratitude to those friends who made sheva brochos. I was so self involved. ( I wasn’t demanding at all and would have been fine with none) but I definitely was not gracious or grateful enough considering the expense and the time/ energy that they spent...

So I’m also thanking OP and of course believe clarifying what exactly you are able to offer is urgent.
Just take the Kallahs cluelessness with a grain of salt. And be firm, clear and in reality.
Tizku Lemitzvos

thunderstorm

Sun, Oct 14 2018, 8:46 am

I'm afraid OP is working hard preparing for this that she doesn't have time to get back to us with an update. OP we are all very antsy and anxious to hear how that phone call went. Pretty please when you have a moment to take a break , please give us an update.