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-> Parenting our children
little neshamala
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:28 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | I was advised by a school psychologist to lock my 4 yr child in his room in a way that he can't get out. She said to make sure that the lock was on the outside of the door. She wanted me to lock him up every time he misbehaved and to be consistent about it. I felt horrible doing it, but was following a "professionals" advice . He kicked the door so hard so many times the entire door frame cracked off.
And then he got even smarter, climbed out the window of his room and came sauntering in through the front door of my apartment all smiles from ear to ear....never did I do that again. |
I actually heard a very interesting shiur once....the Rav mentioned its ossur according to halacha to lock a child in a room
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Mommyg8
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:30 pm
amother wrote: | This is not the first time you've posted something absurd that you've done based on the someone in authority advising you. I think you often get bizarre advice from your rabbanim. As adults we have to use our seichel sometimes and override awful advice. |
Amother, this is not a nice post. I suggest you delete it.
And BTW, we've ALL done stupid things based on the advice of authority.
But in this case it really does seem so legitimate. Why would you question a professional when you're a young new mother? Most people wouldn't.
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asmileaday
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:35 pm
amother wrote: | To bite my child when she bites her sister.
At one point I was so desparate I actually tried it. It didn't work. We just all ended up in hysterical tears.
But then I did something else. Somthing I wouldn't recommend unless you are as desparate as I was.
We had a coversation about her hurting her sister. And that from now on, ebery time she bites, no matter why or what, befkre we talk about what happened, her sister will bite her in the same spot she bit her. So that she knows and feels what it feels like.
I'd hold her down tell her sister to bite her back. And bh. Poypoypoy.
This is something we struggled with for 2 years.
Oftentimes I'd have to leave my kids in thre bath to have a cry. My poor 5 yo entire body was covered in black and blue bite marks. It was just so awful.
I is probably the deepest level of pain when you have your children whom you love to death hurt each other like that. |
I can't believe this post was overlooked.
Amother I sincerely hope you are being sarcastic. I'm reading and rereading your post and just scratching my head like what the heck did I just read.
In case you're not being sarcastic you need professional help asap.
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Tzutzie
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:39 pm
Mommyg8 wrote: | Amother, this is not a nice post. I suggest you delete it.
And BTW, we've ALL done stupid things based on the advice of authority.
But in this case it really does seem so legitimate. Why would you question a professional when you're a young new mother? Most people wouldn't. |
This. We all make mistakes. Something I really like about Thunderstorn is she is ok putting herself out there. Being vulnerable to poster like this amother and still being true to her experiences and sharing them.
Rock on thunderstorm!
I've had the typical, if she'll be hungry enough she'll eat.... oh yes she will, but then she'll still be underweight cuz she'll wait till she's famished every single time.
Forcing a kid to eat or letting her go hungry won't "break" her habit of refusing to eat. If anything it'll break HER. There is a reason for her behaviour. Figure it out and work with it. (My advice. Lol)
Last edited by Tzutzie on Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:39 pm
amother wrote: | This is not the first time you've posted something absurd that you've done based on the someone in authority advising you. I think you often get bizarre advice from your rabbanim. As adults we have to use our seichel sometimes and override awful advice. |
This wasn't a Rabbi. It was a female psychologist who was licensed. And I was required by the school to adhere to her advice and work together on my child's behavior with them. This was in a Headstart program.
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Tzutzie
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:40 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | This wasn't a Rabbi. It was a female psychologist who was licensed. And I was required by the school to adhere to her advice and work together on my child's behavior with them. This was in a Headstart program. |
I always wonder if about these kind of poeple. Do they have children themselves?
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amother
Natural
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:46 pm
Oh thunder, don't feel bad! My son's school social worker (who the school strongly suggested I use) told me that my son will not be able to survive without seeing her and maybe needs to go privately beyond school hours. When I told her I think its strange that your recommendation is directly to you and youre benefitting financially, she completely reversed and said oh, I'm not allowed to see him in private practice. Really. And you only thought of that once I called your bluff. We dumped her immediately. And contrary to her dire predictions, my son functioned just fine in school without her. We then found a wonderful woman who we worked with and thankfully that school social worker is just a bad memory. Its hard to weed out the nuts, it takes time... You're doing fine.
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hodeez
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:50 pm
Curing ecsema by covering the baby on his own pee (could you imagine?!)
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Chana Miriam S
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 9:57 pm
amother wrote: | To bite my child when she bites her sister.
At one point I was so desparate I actually tried it. It didn't work. We just all ended up in hysterical tears.
But then I did something else. Somthing I wouldn't recommend unless you are as desparate as I was.
We had a coversation about her hurting her sister. And that from now on, ebery time she bites, no matter why or what, befkre we talk about what happened, her sister will bite her in the same spot she bit her. So that she knows and feels what it feels like.
I'd hold her down tell her sister to bite her back. And bh. Poypoypoy.
This is something we struggled with for 2 years.
Oftentimes I'd have to leave my kids in thre bath to have a cry. My poor 5 yo entire body was covered in black and blue bite marks. It was just so awful.
I is probably the deepest level of pain when you have your children whom you love to death hurt each other like that. |
With all due respect, I'd like to suggest that leaving your young children alone in the bath is a pretty bad idea. Just in case anyone thinks it is a good idea.
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asmileaday
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 10:02 pm
andrea levy wrote: | With all due respect, I'd like to suggest that leaving your young children alone in the bath is a pretty bad idea. Just in case anyone thinks it is a good idea. |
That's the part that's making me think she's being sarcastic.
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crust
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 10:18 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | This wasn't a Rabbi. It was a female psychologist who was licensed. And I was required by the school to adhere to her advice and work together on my child's behavior with them. This was in a Headstart program. |
You're handling this like a lady Thunderstorm.
But honestly, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 10:29 pm
crust wrote: | You're handling this like a lady Thunderstorm.
But honestly, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. |
Thanks to all of you who are concerned for my feelings. I'm ok, I promise😄
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 10:56 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | Thanks to all of you who are concerned for my feelings. I'm ok, I promise😄 |
I just wanted to say thanks for posting because I too have been sucked in to "expert" advice and made the stupidest parenting decisions and it's nice (and at the same time horrible), to know that I am not the only one.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 11:01 pm
Can one of the moderators split this thread? It really had the potential to be so much fun and it would be a pity to lose a good laugh
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tigerwife
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 11:04 pm
I’ll report my own post so that the mods can get the memo to split the thread if they can.
I’ve been told to put breastmilk on my infant’s pus-sy eye. Does that make the immature tear duct mature faster??
ETA can’t believe that word replacement. Lol.
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 11:13 pm
tigerwife wrote: | I’ll report my own post so that the mods can get the memo to split the thread if they can.
I’ve been told to put breastmilk on my infant’s pus-sy eye. Does that make the immature tear duct mature faster??
ETA can’t believe that word replacement. Lol. |
My pediatrician hands out a pamphlet to first time mothers and that's been their advice for over 20 years. It really works. You spray breast milk directly into the baby's pink eye and it clears up. It works better than eye drops. I actually had to stop breastfeeding at three weeks PP, but I saved a bottle of pumped milk in my freezer for this purpose. I never used anything else on my babies eyes besides breast milk. It's not a myth.
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mfb
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 11:15 pm
tigerwife wrote: | I’ll report my own post so that the mods can get the memo to split the thread if they can.
I’ve been told to put breastmilk on my infant’s pus-sy eye. Does that make the immature tear duct mature faster??
ETA can’t believe that word replacement. Lol. |
I know people who this worked for. I'm not sure how or why scientifically???
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mommyla
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 11:19 pm
mfb wrote: | I know people who this worked for. I'm not sure how or why scientifically??? |
It worked on two of my kids’ blocked tear ducts! I am so not into natural remedies but it really works. Also for stuffy noses!
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tigerwife
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Sun, Oct 14 2018, 11:39 pm
mfb wrote: | I know people who this worked for. I'm not sure how or why scientifically??? |
That is so interesting! How did you do this exactly? I did occasionally dab some on while nursing because why not, but the guck was there until almost a year post birth.
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amother
Mauve
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Mon, Oct 15 2018, 12:04 am
It was July and I live in a hot climate "Don't let your child run through the sprinkler, the water is too cold!"
Also in general strangers giving advice about clothing/warmth is unwanted. I live in a place with mild winters that never get down to freezing, so usually I put my child in just a sweater in the winter. If I put him in a big coat he sweats a lot and I don't see how that could be a good thing.
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