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Forum -> Parenting our children
What stupid parenting advice have you heard lately?
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gamanit




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 2:05 am
mfb wrote:
I know people who this worked for. I'm not sure how or why scientifically???


possibly due to the antibodies in breastmilk https://www.care.com/c/stories.....east/
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:34 am
hodeez wrote:
Curing ecsema by covering the baby on his own pee (could you imagine?!)


Ok, so this advice is bizarre - BUT - I purchase very expensive cream to treat my eczema and one of the main ingredients is urea. It occurs when protein is processed and comes out in mammal urine.

So, it’s not totally baseless - but I still buy the cream and don’t use urine....
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 5:11 am
That I don't have to teach my child anything. Not to whipe their nose, not to sit nicely at the table when eating, nothing. Kids don't need to be taught anything. It's enough if I'm a good example. Otherwise they will just do the opposite you tell them.
So that's the reason her street kids look like out of the jungle and are so wild.
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gingertop




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 6:01 am
That teaching kids to be polite is unnecessary because politeness is not a feature in the Torah and the Nazis were polite. I'm paraphrasing obvs but this is literally something a very prominent parenting teacher carries on about.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 9:04 am
The book On Becoming Babywise.

"Every kid develops at their own pace"- which is true, to an extent, but don't use that to ignore real red flags. So many people kept throwing that line at me, including the pediatrician. The child I had been expressing concern about is autistic.

I have a friend who was having major sleep issues with a toddler, to the point that her daughter would vomit from all the crying. She was advised to let her daughter sit in the vomit so that she'd "learn" that she can't "manipulate" her parents like this. Thankfully my friend went for a second opinion on the matter.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 9:06 am
fyi urine used to be used as a tanning solution

so yes it does soften

and who knows what else it does

mayim raglayim is mentioned in the davening
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 9:51 am
I was advised by chinuch pro to lock my 11 yr old into my hands & feet, when he misbehave, and not let him go until he declares that his father & mother are boss & he will listen to them. I knew it wouldn't work. I tried it once. He loved the att & didnt say anything for half hour. What can be better than having Dad & Mom stop everything & stand on their heels for him. After letting him go, That's when he said because it wasn't a power struggle anymore so he had nothing to lose
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 9:54 am
The longer he was holding back, the longer he was ensconced in his mom's embrace, even if he couldn't go anywhere
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 10:42 am
amother wrote:
I was advised by chinuch pro to lock my 11 yr old into my hands & feet, when he misbehave, and not let him go until he declares that his father & mother are boss & he will listen to them. I knew it wouldn't work. I tried it once. He loved the att & didnt say anything for half hour. What can be better than having Dad & Mom stop everything & stand on their heels for him. After letting him go, That's when he said because it wasn't a power struggle anymore so he had nothing to lose


Who is this chinuch pro? I'm wondering who is out there giving harmful advice like this
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 11:10 am
We paid him money for his advice because teacher told us we must take my son there. After that first session of meeting with us, parents, & saw his misconstrued advice I never went back. He never saw my son at all. We paid up in advance for all required sessions. After a couple of years they send us back the money that we paid for sessions, that we didnt go to.
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mommy201




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 12:12 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
I was advised by a school psychologist to lock my 4 yr child in his room in a way that he can't get out. She said to make sure that the lock was on the outside of the door. She wanted me to lock him up every time he misbehaved and to be consistent about it. I felt horrible doing it, but was following a "professionals" advice . He kicked the door so hard so many times the entire door frame cracked off.
And then he got even smarter, climbed out the window of his room and came sauntering in through the front door of my apartment all smiles from ear to ear....never did I do that again.


Horrible!! They should take away her license.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 12:21 pm
amother wrote:
We paid him money for his advice because teacher told us we must take my son there. After that first session of meeting with us, parents, & saw his misconstrued advice I never went back. He never saw my son at all. We paid up in advance for all required sessions. After a couple of years they send us back the money that we paid for sessions, that we didnt go to.
Was this a Rabbi from Lakewood?
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 12:30 pm
My pediatrician sent me to get my 18 mo old checked for ADHD by a neurologist because he was running around the office instead of sitting quietly and watching uncle Moishe. (What do you expect from the poor baby? He was waiting for over two hours to be seen!!)

The neurologist had a good laugh.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:02 pm
amother wrote:
What stupid parenting advice have you heard lately?


Not lately but when my DS nearly three was a newborn, he amazingly slept five hours straight! I felt great on five hours uninterrupted sleep. He wasn’t my first DC yet somehow I unfortunately listened to the parenting advice I was given by a random person: “Oh he’s far too young to be sleeping that much. You must wake him for milk.” And stupidly I did. And then I had a toddler who expected me to nurse all night. The worse vice is advice!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:31 pm
Wow, so much stupid in this thread! And just think what helpful advice our own parents must have gotten. It's a miracle we're all alive.

I was told "Your DD has anxiety because she's adopted. You've traumatized her for life by breaking a holy bond." DD grew up having a very close relationship with her birth parents and grand parents. She told me once "I love X and Z, but I'm glad you're my Mama. If I lived with them I'd be a hot mess!"

DD would not have anxiety if you took her off gluten.

You are too strict with DD and/or you let her get away with too much.

Here's a good one: "You are too attached to her." What??? Surprised
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:34 pm
How's about this? You spoil your daughter too much. For buying 1 shabbos dress for $75 when she had nothing to wear. She's 12.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:34 pm
SuperWify wrote:
My pediatrician sent me to get my 18 mo old checked for ADHD by a neurologist because he was running around the office instead of sitting quietly and watching uncle Moishe. (What do you expect from the poor baby? He was waiting for over two hours to be seen!!)

The neurologist had a good laugh.


I remember when one of my girls was about that age, she was B"AH a very active young lady. I spent much of my time with her running after her as she explored the universe.

I once said as much to a very stupid (I don't call many people that) relative-of-a-relative, and she told me "you know, you could just put her on ritalin. It really helps."

I kid you not.

Advice not taken.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:35 pm
keym wrote:
How's about this? You spoil your daughter too much. For buying 1 shabbos dress for $75 when she had nothing to wear. She's 12.


Applause

That's for you.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:39 pm
amother wrote:
Was this a Rabbi from Lakewood?


I'm not magenta amother, but I want to comment on this. DH and I once spoke to a Rabbi from Lakewood who sees parents for free. His advice was VERY off and made no sense for us.

I've learned to trust my inner gut. Hashem gave it to me for a reason. If someone's advice seems off...it probably is.

Also, to question someone's qualifications before you listen to their advice. A white beard is not sufficient qualification.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 15 2018, 1:45 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Applause

That's for you.


Well thank you. But I wasn't really second guessing myself or anything. Just rolling my eyes at that adviser.

I probably should start a spinoff or something. But this particular advisor was not an "expert" or anything. And I knew to take her with a grain of salt when I watched her take away the full pekala from her four year old that he received at a birthday party. She threw the whole thing in the trash while he was screaming, saying "he doesn't need it". Not exactly my idea of someone I want to take advice from.
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