Very picky 14 yo dd dinner ideas please.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 2:52 am

amother wrote:

I am so confused. Sometimes I think it’s my fault and even though it’s only her st home I need to make hot fresh dinner every night. I always read here that women put up their menues and it is so elaborate and extensive every day of the week.

Don't go by what people post on social media. Most families have far simpler fare.

Even though I'm currently a SAHM I don't have so much time to cook and certainly not a fresh fancy dinner every night. I cook enough for Shabbos that we have at least one leftover meal and usually two. I don't make the same thing every week so we have enough variety and don't get bored of Shabbos food. The rest of the week I make either dairy or pareve and I try to have something that everyone will at least eat part of. Sometimes though there are some kids who just refuse to eat a particular meal and then they're welcome to help themselves to yogurt or a sandwich or cook something simple themselves from whatever is available in the fridge and pantry.

I understand that this particular child is extremely hard to feed, but you can't make yourself crazy trying to please her. What is she going to do in a few years when she goes to seminary or college or work or gets married? She has to start to learn how to feed herself now. You can try therapy or a nutritionist who specializes in picky eaters or look into eating disorders or whatever makes the most sense for your daughter but you can't continue as is. Teaching her how to cook is a great idea and much more empowering than catering to her whims.

amother

Wine

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 7:11 am

oliveoil wrote:

What do you usually make?

I make. For Shabbos she eats stir fry vegetables chicken, rice kugel salads, potatoes mushed or roasted, steak , roast meat sweet potatoes ziti, spaghetti and meat balls quesadillas, scrambled eggs, grilled cheese sandwich. She is bored of all these food. She wants new recipes from the cook book. Like Chinese food and fancy pastas and fancy salads.

amother

Wine

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 7:12 am

amother wrote:

Can you give me examples of food that you make?

rowo

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 7:23 am

It does sound like she's a bit spoiled. But a hot dinner every night is not over the top. Gourmet recipes with elaborate plating might be a bit much though.

But there are plenty of quick and easy recipes that are very tasty and great for weeknight dinners. It doesn't have to take a long time.
Look up 'sheet pan dinners', you cook everything on one oven tray at the same time.
Or what about purposely reusing things, like making chicken one night and make extra so you can pull it apart and use it for tacos the next night. (I just did this with my shabbos leftovers, pulled the chicken off the bone and shredded it, then fried an onion and added the chicken to the pan with taco seasoning. Along with some cut up vegetables and condiments in the tacos it was a fun and delicious dinner)

There are tons of ideas on this site or follow a few of the kosher cooks on Instagram...

But I definitely agree that she should be helping out. Especially if she making demands for more than you usually make.

heidi

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 7:44 am

Pasta with butter and pamesan cheese melted into it as soon as it's drained- save some of the cooking water and add in.
If she likes, boil the pasta with broccoli and garlic cloves.
Drain and serve with grated cheese.
Roast a bunch of veggies in the oven- peppers, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes. Add to fresh cooked pasta.
Defrost chicken cutlets before you go to work. Spread with some soy sauce and chili matok or duck sauce and pan fry with Pam. Rice and lettuce from the bag as sides.
Chicken on the bone sprinkled with garlic powder, pepper salt and paprika. Spread unpeeled garlic cloves in pan sprinkle chicken with balsamic vinegar and bake uncovered at 375 for an hour and a half. Put a sweet potato on tinfoil in the oven at the same time.
Salmon or tilapia fillet with spices and some bread crumbs sprinkled on top baked at 375 for 15-20 minutes. With couscous and frozen veggies or mashed potatoes.
Nothing here takes more than 15 minutes to prepare.
It's not your daughter's fault that she's the only one home.
Decent dinners should be part of growing up.
Gourmet is if she wants to cook.
Good luck.

Last edited by heidi on Tue, Oct 16 2018, 8:54 am; edited 1 time in total

FranticFrummie

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 8:03 am

First of all, I totally sympathize with you. You could be talking about my 15yo DD, more or less. The struggle is real. At wits end

Your DD wants fancy food? Cook it with her. It's not taking away her childhood, it's preparing her to be a self sufficient adult, which is part of parenting. I call it "life skills classes." If DD complains that cooking is boring, I just say "life skills", and she will get with the program. Make it a mother daughter bonding time. Play music or tell each other funny stories while you cook together.

Some people are actually "super tasters". They literally have more taste buds than normal. I used to say that DD could taste a single speck of black pepper in one part per million. Adults lose some of their taste senses as they age, so you really don't know exactly what DD is tasting. She might not be being difficult on purpose.

Even so, have her take responsibility for her food. Show her a meal template with proper portions of starch, veggies, fruits, and proteins. Have her build meal plans around that. If she's too skinny, see if you can get her to eat fatty foods like avocado, and cook with lots of olive oil.

We actually have the opposite pattern. I'm the gourmet cook, and DD hates anything with sauces, spices, or anything fancy. She could live on plain rice, plain noodles, a baked potato,or a steamed chicken breast without seasoning. If I'm making something fancy for myself, I always have to take out a portion for her first, before I add any spices. Confused

It took me years before I could get her to eat foods that were touching.

If absolutely nothing is working, and she is getting genuinely distressed or increasingly controlling about food, then please look into an eating disorder clinic. Be aware of how she talks about her body image, and make sure that food is not tied into that. If this is just a continuing pattern of how she's been since she was little, then I wouldn't worry so much.

amother

Peach

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 8:14 am

amother wrote:

mshe is busy with homework and with friends. I feel it will be like taking away her childhood....

It's definitely not taking away her childhood. 14 is a perfectly reasonable age to be able to cook dinner and if she has specific foods that she wants then this is the perfect opportunity for her to get comfortable in the kitchen

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 8:23 am

So I disagree with a lot of the posters here.

Of course 14 yr old can cook, but I think it's too young to expect them to fend for themselves. It's still the age where they need to feel secure and cared for. On the other hand, gourmet suppers every night is too much so balance is key.

Regular suppers in my book:
meatballs and rice (plus hot veg if I have time)
meaty or vegetarian schnitzel and potatoes (plus salad)
pasta and cheese
tuna patties/salmon and french fries
etc

mommish613

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 8:57 am

OP,

I remember being a teen- there was nothing more that I looked forward to when I came home than a yummy hot dinner. It didn’t always happen as my mom worked out of the house but she did try most days and I remember sitting down, enjoying and savoring every bite. Today, I am the same. A good, well-planned meal is very comforting to me.

I happen to enjoy planning and cooking different and interesting dinners with my family- I plan the week’s menu the Thursday before and go shopping accordingly so that I have all the ingredients in the house and can prep in advance.

I would sit down with your DD at the beginning of the week or before you do your weekly shopping and menu plan with her. There are a lot of shortcuts you can take if you’re short on time. They sell delicious pizza dough in most freezer sections, many sauces can be doubled and prepped in advance and frozen. Many pasta sauces can also be bought premade. Involve your daughter in the planning and ask her to help you prep for an hour on Sunday or at another time you feel convenient. She can cut vegetables- it will cut down a lot on the prep time for you and you won’t be so overwhelmed. You can also tell her that you’ll let her choose the menu for 3 days instead of 5. Find a happy medium with what she wants and what you feel you can handle.

1untamedgirl

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 9:38 am

amother wrote:

Have her sign up for a cooking class, possibly with a friend, where she can learn how to make all these recipes by herself this way it will be fun for her to learn how to cook instead of it feeling like a punishment/chore.

SixOfWands

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 6:38 pm

amother wrote:

mshe is busy with homework and with friends. I feel it will be like taking away her childhood....

Look, its your responsibility, as a parent, to offer your kids edible food.

Edible includes leftovers.

Edible includes simple meals.

If your 14 year old isn't satisfied with what you can provide, then its not "taking away her childhood" by asking her to help prepare what she wants.

Eg, Monday night in our house is planned leftovers. If DD doesn't want that, then she can prepare something else for the family.

Wednesday is something with ground beef. Meatloaf. Tacos. Peccadillo. Meatballs. Whatever. If DD doesn't like any of those, she's welcome to use that meat to make something else for the family.

Her choice.

And maybe, when you have time, you can make something that she chooses.

Teomima

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 6:58 pm

amother wrote:

Ok. I agree. But what is it considered a restaurant and what is normal for her to expect a hot dinner every night.

In my opinion, her putting in daily requests I'd what turns it into a restaurant. There's nothing wrong with a kid saying, "hey, mom, can we have salmon some time?" But requesting specific recipes regularly? No way.

As for mom making a hot dinner every night? Nope nope nope, not in my house. First of all, when I DO prepare a warm, "organized" supper (which I easily admit doesn't happen every night), it's usually something simple like tuna patties, eggs, or noodles, served with fresh veggies. But my kids have also been known to have yogurt and cereal for supper. To me the most important thing is that I feed my kids SOMETHING, and that we spend quality time together during the meal, even if it's just grilled cheese. That's far more important than how fancy the dish is.

So, were I in your shoes, I'd relax my standards and encourage my child to cook for herself.