Homemade Bris | Imamother

amother

Lime

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 11:04 am

southernbubby wrote:

I agree with this. I feel that the rest and care that a mother gets after giving birth could affect her for months or even years and she should not deprive herself of that needed rest. She should not push herself to entertain or host. She should be pampered and realize that whatever her finances are, she is worthy of rest during this special time.

This may mean that she has to make a smaller affair or ask friends and relatives to help but she should take her health and rest seriously. Listen ladies, we must value ourselves and our bodies so that when we give to our children and others, we can truly give of ourselves without feeling like martyrs.

People always say things like this but the reality is if you don't have the money and it means for the next few months OP will not be able to buy food or basics or pay for cleaning help that is way more stressful then home catering a bris. And it sounds like she has a willing team of helpers.

I once paid for caterers for one of our sons bar mitzvos because my husband thought it would be too much for me. We were stressed for money for months afterwards and the next bar mitzva I did myself and it was actually way less stressful.

OP should just make sure she sits down the WHOLE TIME and does not do anything. Unless it can be done from her seat, like ordering stuff. Get cleaning help for afterwards. Family can be great for setting up but cleaning up is always less fun and people might disappear leaving you with a mess.

southernbubby

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 11:39 am

amother wrote:

Pittsburgh Chabad community has a beautiful tradition where women are given a choice between getting meals from the community or having help making the bris. If the family chooses bris help, they pay for part of the food and some is given by the volunteers. Maybe other communities could develop the same sort of system where a group of ladies helps with the set up, clean up and food preparation.

My son once honored a big rav with sandak and the sandak gave my son $1000 because this rav felt that the sandak should help pay for the bris.

Possibly there is some middle ground between paying a caterer and involving the mother in the preparations.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 12:08 pm

My parents self catered first brother's bris, and never again!
It didn't sound too hard, but it meant my grandmother and aunts slicing vegetables, making platters, etc. The morning of.

My mother said it was very stressful.

But I think that if it's not on YOU to take care of, and the people who will help clearly know what they're responsible for, e.g. Picking up the order of bagels, putting cream cheese into plates, etc, then out could work.

One more thing to consider- serving, clearing, etc.

We made a very small bris for one son. We traveled to another nearby city for a certain sandak and had a bris gemac h bris at home much later in the day. We didn't take into account the serving. I thought a make relative would be able too serve/clear the men (it was such a small group) but it didn't happen that way. I was busy taking the warmed up food from the oven (fleishig) and pouring in platters. Bh a different guest helped.

I am still happy we did it the way we did it.

BTW, can you make it a smaller bris?