Advice please! What else can I do?

amother

Orchid

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:17 pm

I work full time, plus an hour commute.

I don't enjoy what I do, and I'm not good at it either.

I'm in the hi tech sector.

It's a government office so they pay is probably half what a comparable job would pay in the private sector.
OTOH, there's job stability. In the private sector I would have been fired a long time ago (because of my lack of skills and motivation)

I would love to quit. But dh makes about half of what I make, and we're month by month , barely escaping debt.

What else can I do?

mha3484

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 3:22 pm

Are you in the US? If so, I would go to your local JVS and meet with a career counselor to see if you can figure out what careers you will enjoy and be more suited to in the long run. Once you have narrowed it down you can look into taking courses to expand your skills. I think if you know your working to change your situation you can be less cranky each day at work.

amother

Puce

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 4:00 pm

amother wrote:

Good luck. I'm in the same boat"" but have a 2 hr commute and can't leave bec my dh also makes much less than I make and we need my salary for the bills. I'm sorry u are in this situation as its hard to go to work everyday and not feel fulfilled. I can relate and am stuck too. Hatzlacha.

simba

Mon, Oct 15 2018, 8:36 pm

Can you be mkore specific? What in he hi tech sector do you do? Why wouldn't you be motivated to find something closer that earns more? Sounds like a win win?

amother

Orchid

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 1:11 am

simba wrote:

Can you be mkore specific? What in he hi tech sector do you do? Why wouldn't you be motivated to find something closer that earns more? Sounds like a win win?

Because I'm not good at it and I don't think I'll find a different job.
I just want to do something else.

But I don't have the cash or the time to quit my job and train for something. I don't even know what I would want to do.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 9:35 am

amother wrote:

OP, you sound depressed. Are you sure you're bad at your job, or are you just feeling that way?

Is there anything you enjoy doing outside of work? When I've had unfulfilling jobs, I've just treated them as a thing I do for money, so that I can afford to do the things that make me happy.

When you have a limited skill set, you can't always do the things you're passionate about. When you don't even know what you're passionate about, that is where you get stuck. It might be worth your while to brainstorm with a life coach or career counselor. You need someone to help you think outside the box, and tap into your hidden potential.

cinnamon

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 2:59 pm

What do you do eexactly and why do you think you're bad at it?
There are so many different kind of jobs in hi tech.
Back end logic, front end logic, databases, GUI, validation, version managment, projec managment, ux, cm.
Can you try to get a different position in your company?

amother

Sienna

Tue, Oct 16 2018, 3:47 pm

I was stuck in a job because how would we manage if I were to quit? The work was usually interesting but the stress from the boss' occasional temper tantrums (never knowing when one would occur) was really getting to me.

Eventually I got so sick that I had to quit. My body was telling me I must. I got disability for a while, I think. Somehow, we managed.

Eventually someone (friend of a friend or something) offered me a job that was more interesting and challenging, allowing me to use some of my creativity and skills. Although the personality of the boss was not that different.

Then I got sick again. It's years later and I'm not fully recovered although BH now I have a job where I pretty much make my own hours so I can usually work around my health issues.

I feel very strongly that if something isn't working for you, you need to very creatively explore alternatives before chas vesholom your body (subconscious) decides for you.

ggdm

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 10:37 am

I second the advice of finding out what you want to do. I have no direct practical advice on how to do that in your case. For me I had a training as part of some "empower women in science" program. Part of it was learning about your personality traits, motivational structure and so on. It helped me a lot to know what type of personality I am in order to find out what would make me happy. In my case I went into teaching despite a lot of discouragement from my family and I love it. It is not absolutely necessary that your job fulfills you, but it should not make you miserable. There are so many opportunities. Take one of them!

amother

Orchid

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 4:04 pm

I had an idea actually, tell me what you think?

I thought about becoming a driving teacher.
I know there is a demand for it, we live in a large Jewish community and most of the driving teachers are male. The frum girls are always looking for female instructors, and they have a waiting list for months.
I can also make my own hours.

(DH hates the idea, says it's like becoming a taxi driver. But I'll deal with him if it comes down to it)

singleagain

Wed, Oct 17 2018, 7:09 pm

amother wrote:

This is not a bad idea .. If you can be paitent with your clients... Also listen to when they say they are ready. A friend of mine was very uncomfortable when the teacher moved to quickly. Highway before he felt ready etc

But find out what sort of requirements your city/state requires