Help me explain what makes content inappropriate

amother

Smokey

Mon, Oct 22 2018, 5:48 am

I have a 7 year old who is very bright, loves to read, also loves to watch interesting movies and discuss them. It's really great. Now, sometimes, I have to tell him he can't read or watch something because it is not appropriate for him. If the reason is that I think it would be too scary, it's simple. I tell him that. And he'll push back- it happens to be he is not super sensitive or easily scared, so I do let him read or watch some things that would be scary for some kids his age because I know he can handle it. And if I say no, this would be too scary even for you, ye generally accepts that. But sometimes it's not an issue of scary, but other reasons. Either zxual content (hints of it) or other themes that I just feel he's not old enough for. He keeps pushing me to explain what I mean by "it's not appropriate for your age" if I don't mean that it's too scary. So I guess I'm looking for a way of explaining what makes something inappropriate for him without going into too much detail but to help him understand why for some things he just needs to be a little older.

amother

Blush

Mon, Oct 22 2018, 5:58 am

Tell him some stuff is not for a little Jewish boy to look at, or some stuff is only for Daddy or Mommy, or plain old English: some movies are for older kids, when you will be older you will be able to watch. You can tell him content is not interesting for a young child, you won't understand it because it's geared for older kids

amother

Smokey

Mon, Oct 22 2018, 6:02 am

When it's something that's really for teen and up, he understands that he has to wait till he's older. The issue is if it's something that would be more for, say, 9-11 range. He reads at a 4th or 5th grade level already, and is aware that he is able to do some things that slightly "older". So that's where he doesn't understand. If he can read on the level of a ten year old, why can't he read everything that any ten year old can read. (When I mentioned zxual content, I don't mean like actual sx but something like boys and girls kissing/dating which does come up in younger age content but is still something I wouldn't feel comfortable with exposing him to that at 7).

FranticFrummie

Mon, Oct 22 2018, 6:06 am

amother wrote:

My DD is the same as OP's kid. I also told her that some movies are for older kids or grownups, and then I would sit with her and help her find something interesting to watch. I loved watching shows with her at that age, because she asked so many questions and we got to discuss all kinds of topics.

She's 15 now, and pretty much picks out her own movies. She's watched a few that I didn't allow when she was younger, and she's said to me "Oh wow, mom. You were right! I would have been traumatized!"

It's not often you hear your teen tell you that you were right, and that you made a good parenting choice, so that that for what it's worth. Very Happy

urban gypsy

Mon, Oct 22 2018, 6:55 am

Hi, my 7 year old son loves movie and tv shows, and I used to get a lot of pushback on what is appropriate and what is not. I showed him the MPAA rating system and explained to him what all the ratings mean: now he feels a lot more self sufficient and feels good about monitoring his own viewing materials. He knows that it's not just mom bossing him around, but there is an objective system about what is appropriate to watch by age. I've explained to him that he is welcome to watch G or Y7 rated materials, but Y-FV (fantasy violence) or PG materials can only be viewed if I have time to sit with him and watch it together. Of course he knows that he can't watch anything with nonJewish holiday content either. I've explained to him that even if he doesn't feel scared, he can still have nightmares, and even grownups can have nightmares from seeing inappropriate things, and it's just not worth it. After having some sleepless nights from Sleeping Beauty (of all things! LOL) he agreed that he needs to monitor his viewing carefully.

amother

Blush

Mon, Oct 22 2018, 9:46 am

MY mom read any secular books before I read it to see if its appropiate for me to read. Why can't you just tell him that I have to view a movie before you see it....to decide whether it is appropiate for you to watch. You don't need to explain what's in it that you feel is inappropiate.....you can just tell him that I watched & it's not for you! He is only 7 & is allowed to take parental authority. The ones that are ok for you to watch, I let you watch.