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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Do I need to be concerned?



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amother
Navy


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2018, 3:58 pm
My son's playgroup morah approached me with some concerns. The main concern is that he seems a little "spacey" (whatever the heck that means for 2 year old) and not always being attuned to the group activity, and also his open mouth posture. She thinks I should contact EI. He's going to be 3 in a few months, so I don't have a lot time if I go that route.

Now, I'm normally of the "no harm in further investigation" camp. But here's why I don't want to go through the whole EI thing this time:
1. I have an older child with autism. I am not naive here, I have an eagle eye for developmental red flags, to the point of even a bit of paranoia.
2. The toddler in question was discharged from speech therapy a few months ago. He had been getting speech since he was one due to hearing loss. He got tubes in his ears, and since then it's resolved, and speech therapy caught him up. At least the speech therapist seemed to think so. If there was more going on, services would have continued.
3. This is his first year in a group setting. Most of his class has been going to playgroup for at least a year, if not longer.
4. These are the only concerns the teacher mentioned. Nothing about language or behavior or motor skills. Do I need to add more to my plate over what she did bring up?

But of course, now that it's been said, I have that niggling doubt that I should be concerned. And since he's close to 3 I don't have time to wait and see. But I think given the above points, I probably don't need to worry. But I don't know. Is the teacher being unreasonable? Or am I in denial?
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2018, 4:10 pm
amother wrote:
My son's playgroup morah approached me with some concerns. The main concern is that he seems a little "spacey" (whatever the heck that means for 2 year old) and not always being attuned to the group activity, and also his open mouth posture. She thinks I should contact EI. He's going to be 3 in a few months, so I don't have a lot time if I go that route.

Now, I'm normally of the "no harm in further investigation" camp. But here's why I don't want to go through the whole EI thing this time:
1. I have an older child with autism. I am not naive here, I have an eagle eye for developmental red flags, to the point of even a bit of paranoia.
2. The toddler in question was discharged from speech therapy a few months ago. He had been getting speech since he was one due to hearing loss. He got tubes in his ears, and since then it's resolved, and speech therapy caught him up. At least the speech therapist seemed to think so. If there was more going on, services would have continued.
3. This is his first year in a group setting. Most of his class has been going to playgroup for at least a year, if not longer.
4. These are the only concerns the teacher mentioned. Nothing about language or behavior or motor skills. Do I need to add more to my plate over what she did bring up?

But of course, now that it's been said, I have that niggling doubt that I should be concerned. And since he's close to 3 I don't have time to wait and see. But I think given the above points, I probably don't need to worry. But I don't know. Is the teacher being unreasonable? Or am I in denial?


Honestly, none of your points really negate any of the concerns the teacher brought up. Wouldn't checking this out bring you some peace of mind or provide you with the tools you need if anything is out of the normal range?
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amother
Natural


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2018, 4:11 pm
Do it. Really. Just do it. The spaciness and not attending to the group is a possible red flag and the mouth posture might be poor tone. These are so addressable. And a speech therapist would not necessarily see that if she focused on language development. Its just an eval. You can contact the DOH or the Board of Ed if its too late because he's close to 3. My child's playgroup morah also alerted us. I was like, please all my kids were late bloomers. Its been a painful journey and in hindsight I don't think it was easy for her to say to me. But there are issues with my child and we are doing a lot of intervention. Better to be told its nothing, than ignore it now. These years (0-5) are so crucial. I would very much encourage you to do the evals. Since you mentioned EI, it sounds like you are in the US. They're free! Its really worthwhile.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2018, 4:26 pm
I wouldn't be concerned - but I would take the appropriate next step - which is a professional evaluation.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Fri, Nov 02 2018, 4:29 pm
That's the other problem, we moved to a new state recently, so EI is not the same as where we came from. It's almost a kal vachomer, of he wasn't eligible anymore before he's probably not going to be now. I knew about the open mouth posture, it was addressed in speech and it improved a lot. He still has it, but apparently not enough to justify continuing. All of my kids have had the open mouth thing, some needed OT and some didn't. And I know what difficulty attending looks like, my autistic child struggles with that, and it was very obvious even at 2. I don't want to ignore anything but I don't want to add things to my plate unnecessarily. For more of a red flag, it wouldn't be a question. I noticed the signs of hearing loss before he was 1 and got on it right away. But I'm not entirely sure what the issue is here, and he's had professionals involved with him. This is a big deal to open up a whole new case for nothing.
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 03 2018, 8:00 pm
There are professionals and there are professionals. It's worth your while to have another set of eyes to look at him. EI is far from the definitive diagnosis.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Sat, Nov 03 2018, 10:37 pm
Wow... its so funny to read this... my 2 year old sons morah is also concerned about my sons open mouth and drooling and his activity level (too high) and we also just moved to a new state so EI is very different here!
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 03 2018, 10:53 pm
I would do the eval and see what they come up with
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Nov 04 2018, 12:22 am
The attending issue may not be as severe as your autistic child's attending issue, but it still may be an issue nonetheless. Nothing to do with autism.
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