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Spin off: giving a name you dislike



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amother
Cerise


 

Post Wed, Nov 07 2018, 5:41 pm
Was reading the thread and thinking that I hope I wont be put in this situation; since there is a family name on my husband's side that I really dont like, but I know my husband will want to use. Which got me thinking: I heard of someone saying in her will not to give kids her name, because she doesnt want kids to go through that...
My name is not common. Its a little old fashion, and depending, can sound nerdy. But I like it cuz I had it my whole life. There was even a rebbetzin with my name, and she told me a lot of sefardim in the syrian community name their daughters after her. She said she even thought it was interesting our generation would use the name...
So I know I iyh have 120 more years to think about this, but as much as I would love to be the type to say to my kids not to use my name if they/spouses dont like it, I want my name to be used...does anyone ever thi k this way?
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Nov 07 2018, 8:38 pm
I hate my name. Do you really know someone who put in her will not to use her name? I’ve been threatening forever to do just that. OTOH no one wants to be forgotten so maybe as a middle name? No, I got it! The masculine counterpart of my name is not bad at all. They can name a boy after me. Problem solved.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:02 pm
My great-grandmother hated her name and told her descendants not to use it. I have one cousin who named for her in a way that incorporated the original name into a longer one, but it only works in a certain community that pronounces the name one way. I would have liked to name for this person as well because I remember her fondly but DH and I couldn't figure out how to do so and then we ended up having a boy anyway.

I think children or grandchildren are more likely to give a name they wouldn't ordinarily like if they had a good relationship with that person and therefore the name has positive connotations. If you really don't like your name enough that you don't want another generation saddled with it, then maybe there are other names associated with yours that would be better? You can have a frank discussion with your children as long as it's not nogeah l'davar at the time and you are making abstract suggestions rather than imposing your will. Also keep in mind that names often go in cycles and what was considered old fashioned becomes trendy again.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Nov 08 2018, 12:33 am
I’ll put a different spin.
Growing up I didn’t like my name, I thought it wasn’t pretty and blah! As a teenager I played around with the spelling and the pronunciation so make it sound cooler. As I matured and I met the many cousins that carried this unique name I actually became proud of my name!

As a parent, both my grandfathers had interestesting old fashioned names, as I girl I used to think I would never ever give the name! Now there are tons of cousins carrying the names and as a mother when I think of those names, an image of an adorable boy comes to mind and it became an adorable name!
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Nov 08 2018, 1:07 am
My friend's father had a weird, uncommon Yiddish name which no one ever called him by except when he was called up to the Torah. On his deathbed he told his children not to use the name (they were all young, most without any kids yet and would definitely want to name for him). They all used variations of his name.

My Bubby (she should live to 120) always has told us grandchildren that she wants us to name after her and use her name and not change it or add to it. Luckily she has a pretty name Smile
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blessedjmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 08 2018, 3:38 am
Named my first child after DH grandparent . I never liked the name. Never thought I'd give the name. But DC was born very soon after she was nifter and it was the right thing to do.

I don't even notice the name now. And it suits DC so well.
I did have to digest it. (But it isn't an odd name. Just something I personally didn't go for...)

Love it now. Because it's my DC. Oh. And lots of cousins with that name now too.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 08 2018, 5:25 am
I know very normal names that got bashed, because the KID was being bullied: Yehudit.

I know very odd names doing well, even outside their community.
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