Unpopular Opinions

Ravenclaw

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 11:49 pm

oakandfig19 wrote:

1) I believe in ghosts (or whatever you want to call it)

2) men *can* control themselves. They do not need to have relations alll the time.

3) on a similar note, we have extremely low standards for men in Jewish communities. They're basically portrayed as babies who constantly want to have s*x

4) tznius and shomer negiah/yichud do not prevent assualt. People who abuse don't care about halacha.

5) Gluten is not healthy for anyone (at least in large quantities)

6) the kollel lifestyle is unsustainable

7) high standards of living in frum communities are completely unsustainable

8) there's nothing wrong with shells

9) anti vaxxers aren't evil murderers.

Love numbers 2-4. I think tznius is taught all wrong. It’s not about preventing men from sinning, it’s about being regal and dressing accordingly. When you teach tznius’s sole purpose as preventing men from sinning, then you foster all of the above mentioned problems. The royals dress much more tzniusdig than the general population out of respect for their own bodies- that’s it. And we are royalty.

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:36 am

Here goes!!!

1- parquet or woodlook floors do not look nice. I like ceramic or porcelain in all rooms.

2- smiling, loving looking husbands does not mean they actually are. Many of them are narcissistic or otherwise abusive.

3- shells are undershirts.

4- leggings, even on small kids, looks like they lost their skirt or jumper.

5- kids are not cute by what they wear, but by what they do.

6- Yiddish newspapers are repetitive. Mostly they write about Israeli wars, which are all the same to me, and advertisements are the same every week for a very long time.

7- Many many people within any community would rather do and behave different than they actually do.

8-dating does not determine whether or not a person is good and nice. The true face is unveiled after marriage regardless of the amount of dating.

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:55 am

PassionFruit wrote:

1. wearing thin nude tights for tznious is idiotic
2. fair, blonde people need make up to look alive
3. the natural looking shaitle thing is way out of hand
4. most people in the world should be in therapy
5. most parents in the world should take parenting classes and/or do a lot of home reading because todays generation is so different than we were raised
6. get OT, PT, ST for any kid that needs (or boarder line needs) it as early as possible
7. people should make a big effort to relax many times every single day
8. packaged food should be kept to an absolute minimum
9. the standard school system is killing the natural drive a child is born with to learn
10. a mother's gut feeling is more important than anything else in the entire world.
11. a flowy skirt should never be paired with a flowy top
12. israel is still galus. there is a lot wrong with life over there. for many people, america is just as good or better of a place to be.
13. most kids do better if they are home with their mothers the first few years of life.

I'm ducking for cover, don't jump on me. thats what the threads about!

I actually like every one of your "unpopular" ideas. To me this is the truth.

DrMom

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 1:01 am

sky wrote:

Another my own opinion: graco carriages are great. They can be both a snap and go (some weight the same, same fold) and then can become a car carriage. And you have a toddler and infant you can switch off. I used mine for years. And they are cheap!

Agree 100%.

We had one and it was fantastic.

Lightweight, HUGE storage basket underneath, comfortable adjustable bar-style handle, holds a carseat, sturdy wheels.

Very practical and affordable.

Only downside was that it was not sleek and attractive.

Sleepymama

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 1:24 am

I love so many of these opinions!
I keep saying "YES! YES! YES!" to so many of the above opinions.

I'll add that I think feminism ruined our lives. The fact that almost no one can live comfortably without duel incomes is ruining our family life in a major way.

blossoming

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 2:20 am

PassionFruit wrote:

PassionFruit, I really connect with almost everything on your list! Especially numbers 1,2,4,5,9,10,and 12!

Debbie

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:10 am

1. Wearing black tights does not necessarily mean a Jewish woman is trying to look fashionable.

2.There is more than one interpretion of Halacha in the Torah world.

3.Nobody ever died from saying 'please' 'thank you,' or 'excuse me.'

4. Formula feeding does not make a woman an inadequate mother

5. Grandparents should not interfere with the name choices for their grandchildren; they had their turn,now it's the turn of their child.
This one is from a soon to be Savta (IYH) who along with soon to be Saba have agreed that it is up to our daughter and Son in law what they name their baby.

DrMom

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:21 am

- Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic are important.

I don't care if you have a spellchecker and a calculator. You're an adult. Yes, you should be smarter than a 5th grader.

- Don't even get me started on the abuse of apostrophes.

Or as many people would put it: apostrophe's. Rolling Eyes

Edited to correct a typo. Note: a typo is not the same as not knowing how to spell! It just means my keyboard keys are too tiny.

Last edited by DrMom on Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:33 am; edited 1 time in total

chanchy123

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:22 am

A lot of these opinions really are not unpopular.
Cilantro - it's genetic. To some people (about half the population) it tastes like soap.
I looooooove my Doona. It's not my primary stroller - but it is my car seat. This was the best purchase we made for our fifth and youngest child.
I use it all the time, so convenient, especially since we have a very small trunk in our Prius plus that would not fit a stroller when we travel with all the kids. I'm also short so it's the perfect height for me.
I wish they were around when my other kids were younger (I had the travel systems where the carseat snapped onto the stroller).

My unpopular opinion is that very thin people - Hollywood/fashion model thin - are unattractive and sometimes even repulsive. I've seen shows with actors I couldn't watch because they were too thin (although on TV they usually don't seem so thin as they do in real life) or even met people that I had to avert my eyes from because they were too thin. I'd much rather look at and be around an obese person than a very thin person.

Debbie

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:24 am

DrMom wrote:

- Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic are important.

I don't care of you have a spellchecker and a calculator. You're an adult. Yes, you should be smarter than a 5th grader.

- Don't even get me started on the abuse of apostrophes.

Or as many people would put it: apostrophe's. Rolling Eyes

Grammar is another one: Could've, would've and should've are abbreviations for: Could have,would have and should have,and not as some seem to think; could of,would of,and should of!

Ruchel

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:40 am

tweek wrote:

Parenting classes for regular, healthy parents (meaning no mental health issues or no background of childhood abuse) are unnecessary and can even get in the way of good, intuitive parenting.

(Good thing we aren't able to post anonymously here cuz I think I would have!)

yessssssss. Also, not everyone needs therapy. I discovered this belief here

Earrings on kids before teens generally look bad

And yes, the most beautiful women are closer to plump than to Hollywood skinny. But that's cultural. In some countries OBESE is looked for. On Imamother, size 0 it is.

You don't have to be perfect, sing songy, "teachable moment" mom - again, something I only feel pressure for online.

Ruchel

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:53 am

Ravenclaw wrote:

Yup. I wouldn't bother changing my life for a stranger. BH for now, no one has mentioned that tznius is about boys to my daughters, and boys have rules too.

oneofakind

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 7:56 am

Tznius and halacha are for boys and girls and protective for healthy people but do nothing for those with addictions, obsessions, narcissistic and sociopathic personality disorders who abuse others. It shouldn't even be put in the same sentence and should have nothing to do with how we separate our boys and girls.

Ruchel

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:00 am

sky wrote:

Children over 9 should not be matching. Definetly having 5 or more children matching is scary and detracts from individuality. Children should have a say in their clothing and choose to wear a outfit that does not match everyone else.

Why should they choose to wear what you want them to wear (non matchy)? Why shouldn't they choose what they choose?

I do agree ayn hara wise. But personally got only compliments though people aren't so used to it.

Get a cheap sturdy stroller, practical and not a fancy smancy one.

I think homework is good in moderation. It's not about the parent helping for it. The child should do it and the teacher needs to know if the child can't. If your child cannot read yet, or skipped a grade and needs to catch up that's plenty different

Quote:

2) men *can* control themselves. They do not need to have relations alll the time.

3) on a similar note, we have extremely low standards for men in Jewish communities. They're basically portrayed as babies who constantly want to have s*x

7) high standards of living in frum communities are completely unsustainable

This this this. I still don't see why men are portrayed as such. Hashem created men to be able to follow his Torah, hence they are able to go for long years without. It's a choice.
As for people making 15 000 dollar bar mitsvas... yeah well. I'm not funding THAT.