Lakewood schools for children of BT/Geirim?

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 1:15 pm

Does this exist? A school for a family that is hareidi light...lives outside of lakewood...kids are young (4,6,11) and have always been homeschooled and would be behind in Judaic studies. Is there a school like this?

Editing to add...I am not looking for a school that's just for BT/G but a school that's accepting of kids who don't have the same background as them.

Some more background...Father was raised secular in Monsey, became BT as a kid, went OTD due to mother being abusive, this happened a couple of times...he is very knowledgeable...is currently dealing with a chronic illness and isn't as outwardly as frum as he used to be.

Mother is a convert (technically so is the 11 yr old) is somewhat knowledgeable but doesn't feel confident in her knowledge. Doesn't always wear tights, covers with a tichel, will wear long skirts or short skirts but still well past the knee.

Family watches movies, plays video games at times, parents use social media.

kids are a bit quirky but kind and love being around other kids. Really intelligent.

NovelConcept

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 1:29 pm

As long as they are "normal" within the standards of the community they are looking to join, I see no reason why gerim or BTs cannot go to the same schools as children born to FFBers. There might be gaps in knowledge, but no one knows everything; everyone has gaps. And kids catch up quickly.
If however, the kids are quirky, they might feel uncomfortable or, sadly, mistreated by peers (because will be kids, until they learn to be mentchen). It really depends on the individuals themselves.
I know a family who came from the middle of nowhere and the kids acclimated into chasidish schools and are doing well. One of the girls is engaged now. They speak fluent Yiddishe and are as heimishe as can be.
Humans have a lot of potential. Don't underestimate anyone.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 2:08 pm

Honestly, I'd look at a more modern school if you want your kids to remain frum. Unfortunately for kids peer experience is likely more important than rules. Put them somewhere they'll be part of the crowd, not outsiders in a homogeneous crowd.

Close to Lakewood is shalom Torah. A little further hillel (Deal), rpry (Edison), netivot (Montessori is east brunswick)

naturalmom5

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 2:20 pm

I'm not sure what is available now, as my sons are 20 and 22..

My older son and many of my friends went to Shalom Twin Rivers for elementary, then Kushner in Livingston...

My younger son went to YNJ. If your son doesn't live with a family in Pasaic/Teaneck a few nites a week, and/or you aren't able to move, its a long commute (about an 1 hour and a half).

However, I can not praise the place enough, In terms of Limudi Chol, and providing resources to make spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically healthy boys they are 100 times better than anything available in Lakewood...

DVOM

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 2:41 pm

amother wrote:

I'd agree with this. Lakewood kids can be a tough group. A more diverse crowd might be more accepting and kind. I don't know where you live, but I've heard marvelous things about Politz Day School in Cherry Hill and the Yeshiva Lab in Philly.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 2:55 pm

amother wrote:

We live an hour south of Lakewood, so we'd be "busing in" from where we live with the local Chabad shliuchim. So I don't think those would be options.

naturalmom5

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 2:57 pm

amother wrote:

We live an hour south of Lakewood, so we'd be "busing in" from where we live with the local Chabad shliuchim. So I don't think those would be options.

If you are an hour south of Lakewood, you may be closer to Baltimore...

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 2:58 pm

DVOM wrote:

Cherry hill is a possibility but Yeshiva Lab is like an hr and 1/2 one way. We were considering Lakewood due to the local shliuchim's kids going to Lakewood. This would be nice for my kids since they are friends.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 8:35 pm

My husband and I are both gerim and our kids are in regular Lakewood mainstream schools (and not ones considered "more modern"). Very few people know our background and my kids don't have any issues socially. My daughter got 4 playdate invitations this Sunday...Miss Popular.

IME the issue wouldn't be that you were not born Jewish but rather where you are currently. Your kids will get into the same schools they would get into if you had both grown up in frum Lakewood homes. I don't find that the schools have been judgmental of us at all.

Sebastian

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 8:41 pm

Op, the family doesn't sound like they'd fit into a Lkwd school and not b/c they are bts/gerim.

Try Yeshiva of the Jersey Shore (Ashkenaz) or Hillel Yeshiva (heavily Sefardic) in the Deal area.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:05 pm

Sebastian wrote:

Op, the family doesn't sound like they'd fit into a Lkwd school and not b/c they are bts/gerim.

Try Yeshiva of the Jersey Shore (Ashkenaz) or Hillel Yeshiva (heavily Sefardic) in the Deal area.

Could you tell me which parts are the issue?

amother

Coffee

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:09 pm

amother wrote:

Could you tell me which parts are the issue?

I'm not pp but watching movies, not always wearing tights, not sure which schools in Lakewood would accept that.
There are people who watch movies in many schools in Lakewood but it's not accepted/ they don't talk about it.

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:15 pm

amother wrote:

I would definitely suggest you look for a diverse low pressure school frumkeit wise. I assume your family is still in the process of changing to some extent. Your kids wont be comfortable with kids who are not exposed to secular culture etc.

I don't know the schools well but for kids coming from homeschooling its better to be as low pressure as possible at least until they've adjusted to the school environment ..

That said one of my best friends wss homeschool in the middle of no where by gerim parents and adjusted fine to a very frum environment no one would guess her background.

Every person and child is different. You might have to switch schools a few times before every child is happy.

Notsobusy

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:16 pm

Are they boys or girls? For boys the best option in Lakewood is probably YTT, for girls probably Tehilas Chaya Sara.

I agree with the posters who said Shalom Torah Centers or Cherry Hill are probably your best options in terms of where you will fit in and where you will get accepted.

Last edited by Notsobusy on Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

nylon

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:16 pm

Sebastian wrote:

Op, the family doesn't sound like they'd fit into a Lkwd school and not b/c they are bts/gerim.

Try Yeshiva of the Jersey Shore (Ashkenaz) or Hillel Yeshiva (heavily Sefardic) in the Deal area.

I would not send the child of a convert to school in Deal.

Sebastian

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:24 pm

Oh I forgot about that.

Yeshiva of the Jersey Shore shouldn't have an issue with it. They are geared to Ashkenaz students and have an Ashkenaz staff.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Nov 13 2018, 10:35 pm

Sebastian wrote:

Oh I forgot about that.

Yeshiva of the Jersey Shore shouldn't have an issue with it. They are geared to Ashkenaz students and have an Ashkenaz staff.

Yeshiva of the jersey shore closed last summer.

amother

Plum

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:19 am

I heard in the summer that a new yeshiva opened in toms river, the outskirts of lakewood, and that they are very accepting. one of the people opening it came from canada

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:56 am

the one that opened in toms river, Im pretty sure is more heimish/chasidish.

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