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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
5 year old messes up everything



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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:00 am
I would have expected him to stop by now. The sibling above him stopped this sort of thing well before 5 and the sibling below is starting to get the hang of it. But this one still draws on walls and furniture (he recently drew on the couch with a permanent marker), yesterday he pasted stickers all over the floor, he squished play do into rugs, and just can't be trusted with any sort of craft material. He knows full well not to do these things! I make him clean it up every time, and when he complains about how hard it is to clean it up, I remind him, we'll, that's why markers are for paper, play do stays at the craft table, etc. And then the next day he does it again! I've even given him a moratorium on certain messy activities for awhile. Still doesn't make an impact. Yes, I supervise, but first of all I can't do that every second, nor should I have to. A 5 year old should not require the same level of supervision inside the house as a toddler. He has no developmental issues, he is very sensory, but that's it. He doesn't generally do dangerous things and is no more impulsive than is age appropriate, except when it comes to these mess making activities! Also, it's nothing new. But it didn't drive me crazy when he was a toddler because that's what toddlers do, and teach them enough times, they learn not to. What bothers me is that he's still doing it same as if he was a toddler! Shouldn't he have gotten it by now???
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:04 am
It does sound like he has an impulse to do these things....he needs to learn self-control.

You might want to let him know that access to these creative outlets is a privilege. You will have to take away the privilege if he can't use it maturely. So if he colors on the wall, the crayons/markers are going to disappear for a few hours or a day or so....he will have to demonstrate that he knows where to color, if he wants to color. If he stuck stickers inappropriately, there are going to be no stickers for a while, until he can show you that he knows where stickers can be stuck.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:23 am
Sounds like he would benefit from ot. Have you ever looked into it?
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sub




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:39 am
sounds like a very imaginative 5 year old boy. When my kids were younger I bought a double sided painting easel. you can frame some of the drawings he draws on paper. they loved it, would that help?
Also make sure all colouring products are truly washable.
you write that he is very sensory- have him make his own playdoh he might appreciate the activity and be more protective of something he created. And when you are baking let him help you with the dough. While it is definitely frustrating and you must be pulling your hair out he will grow up and channel his creativity into positive projects.


Last edited by sub on Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:54 am; edited 1 time in total
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:45 am
He might be joining your toddler that starting out as a team. Also if you're ok with your toddler doing it & only get upset when he does it, so makes sense that he doesn't get it.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 12:07 pm
I have a designated area for crafts, he just ignores those boundaries. Or he'll start out on the paper, but the second he runs out of paper, he just uses some other surface instead of getting or asking for more paper. He doesn't qualify for OT because there's nothing else going on. My oldest gets lots of OT and the OT actually has given me good ideas for the 5 year old that help.

That is a good point, dankbar. He's not teaming up with the toddler on this (in fact, the toddler is actually starting to get better about it than he is), but it is true that I probably show more patience when disciplining the toddler for drawing on the wall. I should probably work on patience even though it's a lot more frustrating coming from an older kid. Incidentally, he does seem to understand that expectations vary by age. He doesn't complain, for example, about being expected to put his clothes in the hamper while the toddler isn't. And he is actually remarkably patient when younger brother bothers him, he'll say "well, he's just a baby, he doesn't know better". But you're right, I need to try harder not to let the frustration come through when I discipline him for these craft messes.
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 2:26 pm
I would do a lot of praising when he is doing it right. I would give him a lot of other "clean" sensory activities I.e. shaving cream in the bathtub. He probably needs the OT even if he doesn't "qualify" for certain programs.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 6:59 pm
I didn't mean to be more patient disciplining the older one. Scribbling on walls should not be tolerated. Hence when the 2 yr old does it, you shouldn't laugh because it's cute, just not let him do it, same way!
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