Unpopular Opinions

Cheiny

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:00 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

Yes but that is on Friday, not Wednesday and Thursday, no?
I think the Thursday minhag is because women are busy cooking for shabbos so they need an easy dinner. Hence pizza.

No, the real reason behind is that Thursday night is erev Shabbat and one should refrain from eating meat so as to make it special on Shabbat,

Cheiny

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:01 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Another unpopular opinion of mine- newlywed couples must go on mandatory birth control for at least six-12 months after the wedding.

It goes hand in hand with stopping the baby making pressure. (Which is very real any way you slice it.)

That would require a psak from a rabbi so I’d advise aagainst making a blanket statement like that casually.

Cheiny

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:05 pm

ora_43 wrote:

I'm honestly not sure how unpopular the following opinions are. Let's find out!

1. The increasingly close relationship between orthodoxy and right-wing politics is weird and unhealthy.

2. That said, every time I start moving closer to what passes for the left these days, I end up taking a step back in the other direction.

3. It is very strange that avoiding music, books, plays, etc, not produced by frum Jews is such a big deal in the frum world, when it's such an esoteric spiritual thing that's not even universally considered beneficial. It just feels so random. Why not say that to be really frum, you have to read the entire book of Tehillim every day (but can still listen to Luis Fonsi)?

4. Women should stop complaining on Facebook that women's clothes don't have pockets, and should start refusing to buy clothes without pockets (OK that's probably not all that unpopular, it's just that it's my only opinion about fashion).

To your #3, I learned that music enters the neshama and therefore listening to secular which may have negative influences is not good, especially while pregnant can affect the baby, as told to me. As far as the books, I’d imagine it’s the same, it has an influence on the soul.

allthingsblue

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:05 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Why- very simple:

- if chas vshslom there’s serious issues with either partner they can end the marriage before there are kids in the picture. Look how many young couples divorce with one or two karbonos or stayed married for the kids and stay miserable.

- even if the marriage is healthy the couple should have time to fall and stay in love and build a solid foundation before the wives are sick and nauseous and the babies start crying and bills start piling... the next 20-30 years will be spent raising the kids... can’t they have some moments to themselves??

Yes BC after a baby is a obvious must. I was making a less obvious point.

(Don’t kill me for this unpopular opinion- but I think parents should not ttc until their baby is at least 1 1/2- 2 years old.)

Good point. I didn't think of that because thank G-d I love my husband.
We actually asked for a heter (for financial reasons) for bc for Shana Rishona and were told no. In the end it all worked out.

I think bc for six months-a year after birth should be highly encouraged. My rav actually said no heter is needed as long as I'm nursing.

I see that each baby and each couple can handle different things but I know a lot of women who had one after another because of not being on bc, and they had a very hard time.

Cheiny

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:11 pm

Ravenclaw wrote:

I agree with you on the whole islamophobia thing (though must disagree about abortion). I am not afraid of Muslims and find it very offputting how racist many people are. Radical Muslims are a tiny fringe group, and most Muslims are peaceful wonderful people.
I actually have an extremely unpopular opinion on this topic... should I risk it? I think extremist/radical Islam and terrorists are a direct result of Zionism.
*running for cover*

That’s a nice P.C. opinion but how do you explain the fact that a high percentage (in the 90’s) of “Palestinians” oppose any peace with Israel while an equal amount of Israelis favor it with the palis? And the Torah tells us that eisav sonei et Yaakov, so it’s a fact, p.c. withstanding.

Cheiny

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:13 pm

Milky wrote:

Here's mine:

Gray hair is beautiful and distinguished. I earned every single gray strand honestly and earnestly. It is not something I'm ashamed of. I secretly wish more women over 50 would gradually switch to gray wigs. And I wish there were more gray wig options! I'm not cool enough to pull it off, but some of my friends are.

I think women over 40 in long, glamorous wigs looks ridiculous. And ages their faces.

Aging is not scary. Living a life without meaning is.

Age means wisdom, perception, and experience. I fervently believe this. And I'm still under 40.

Glad I got that out! Thanks, ginger.

lol and I think long gray hair, real or wig, is so ugly!

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:26 pm

Forrealx wrote:

- Trump is a shame
- I'm not free to say openly I'm very leftwing
- I'm pro abortion and euthansai ( I mean I won't do it but I think it could be helpful for others)
- I don't think Islam is evil (I've studied religion studies)
- I don't think Arabs are evil (their leaders might be but a random Arab why would I be scared of?)
- I don't like Israel (people are mean and rude and shout)
- Mental health issues should be treated like physical health issues

You do realize that there are israeli ladies here and I would hope that we would not be mean and rude and shout if you came to our homes. Exploding anger

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:35 pm

Shuly wrote:

Americans don't have a clue about Israeli politics.

They like to talk about it but they truly don't get it. Their views are completely distorted by the media and by American culture and quite frankly, they're just wrong. I half laugh and half cringe when Americans make these blanket statements that have no truth in reality.

For examples, just read every post on this thread written by an American.

You need to live in Israel for at least 5 years and be part of an Israeli community before you can fully understand it.

(By Israeli politics, I mean everything from Arabs, chareidim, Neturei karta, Sikrikim, the Knesset, city leaders to the IDF.)

100%, spot on.

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:36 pm

I literally have all gaps LOL. Irish twins, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years. Bigger is easier, but all gaps have an advantage.

As for mandatory BC - no gracias. I would have been extremely resentful. Why should newlyweds deal with hormones/diaphragm/whatever? Also if I think of divorce c'v then I wouldn't have gotten married... Hopefully people get married NOT thinking of divorce.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:36 pm

Cheiny wrote:

So how do you explain all the choshuve rabbis who live in the US? Are they all wrong?

So here will be an unpopular opinion: Yes, they are wrong. They should be telling their communities to come to Eretz Yisrael.

Or the other side of the same coin is that right now, thats where they believe they need to be.

exaustedmom

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:37 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

You do realize that there are israeli ladies here and I would hope that we would not be mean and rude and shout if you came to our homes. Exploding anger

Shabbat, I just spent some time in Israel. We traveled all over this beautiful country. I am not exaggerating to say that we found Israelis to be the warmest, kindest, most welcoming people on Earth!

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:38 pm

Cheiny wrote:

That would require a psak from a rabbi so I’d advise aagainst making a blanket statement like that casually.

As you will begin to see on this site cheiny, not everyone has the same outlook on everything. I for one think her idea is great, but also realize that not every FRUM person asks rabbanim about birth control, so this idea would actually really work very well.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:43 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Unpopular (?): those wanting to enforce alia for all, need to pay alia (and subsistance after the fated first year) for all.

Huh? Ruchel, this might very extremely unpopular, but when someone makes aliyah, they need to come with a financial plan, not hope that people will pay for them for everything...........

gingertop

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:46 pm

My unpopular opinion re: aliya. I don't think that aliya is for everyone but some people are really rude about a place where millions of Jews reside and I think that's unfortunate. You don't have to do it yourself. You could respect that there are Jews who live in a harsh political environment for a variety of reasons. Mine are more practical than religious but it doesn't change the fact that it was the right decision for me.
I really don't appreciate being stereotyped and my kids, who are native Israelis, are beautiful human beings and I don't like when people say they don't like them.

eta: Not talking about you Ruchel even though our posts are in close proximity.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:58 pm

Cheiny wrote:

The Palestinians are not eisav. Just saying.

gingertop

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 4:05 pm

Another unpopular opinion of mine: Kalla teachers get too much bad rap. They're job is to teach halachos in a few classes and by design, they will never be able to cover everything. Some are better, some are worse. But the major problems of intimacy and marriage are not caused by them nor can most be prevented them.
The bigger problems are
a- Madrichim who think every chumra is g-d's greatest gift to humankind
b- lack of education surrounding intimacy before, during, and after kalla classes. Having so many taboo topics and no books to read, people to discuss intimacy with.

SuperWify

Sun, Nov 18 2018, 4:38 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

I had my baby exactly a year after I got married. Shana rishona was extremely difficult as I adjusting to being both a wife and soon a mother. Lots of my friends where in the same boat. BH it all worked out but believe me life could have been much easier. (Nowadays we make up by having “Shana rishona” every night after baby does to sleep. Whether we go out or even stay in- most nights- play a game or watch a movie or just talk , it’s a great time to bond. It may be crazy that DH isn’t by night Seder to half of Lakewood but Sorry to with all them other jealous wives...)

Anyway my point is, that not every 18 year old (although I was older- it by wasn’t much...) is ready for a baby the minute she puts on a wig🙄

And yes some woman can go year after year producing another child and I’m in awe of them. However, there are a lot of other woman rgat simply can’t do that- because they’re human and normal- but unfortunately feel like they too must be on the baby race because look at chani - her youngest is 6 months old, she pregnant again and her “big” one is 18 months.. while my baby's *gasp* is already a year I must start tying again...

Last edited by SuperWify on Sun, Nov 18 2018, 5:42 pm; edited 1 time in total