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Seminary wishlist
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 7:38 pm
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond to this thread. Your insights have been incredibly helpful!
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 10:15 pm
amother wrote:
Can you tell me more about this school?


DD's good friend went to Kesser Chaya. Nice, solid type of BY girl without being at all "farfrumt", and not at all high-maintenance. I don't know much about the seminary itself, though. I recently spoke to DD's mechaneches about seminaries, and she said it is slightly less academic than BYA. I think it might also be a tad more chilled. I'm not sure.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 11:04 pm
Chayalle wrote:
DD's good friend went to Kesser Chaya. Nice, solid type of BY girl without being at all "farfrumt", and not at all high-maintenance. I don't know much about the seminary itself, though. I recently spoke to DD's mechaneches about seminaries, and she said it is slightly less academic than BYA. I think it might also be a tad more chilled. I'm not sure.


I think it's a lot less academic than BYA, and the girls are more chilled.


Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 11 2019, 7:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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rdmom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 16 2018, 6:20 am
Kesser Chaya would have fit the bill a few years ago. It was my daughters first choice when she started applying to seminaries. Until she went to the interview and they asked her all kinds of crazy questions. And then she decided not to go there. Then she heard from her principals that they decided to become more academic and were working on getting a “better name”

I just want you to go in this with open eyes. It is almost Chanukah and my daughter still hates it. She loves the girls, the classes not so much. There is a lot more I can say, but wouldn’t do it in public.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Fri, Nov 16 2018, 8:58 am
Ladies, it truly takes a village and I’m so grateful to each and every one of you for your help. Couldn’t have gotten this far without you all.
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cookies6




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 16 2018, 10:12 am
amother wrote:
My daughter is in bnos Sarah this year. she is extremely low maintenance and has many friends who are similar. But there are 100+ girls so there will always be high maintenance girls in the mix. She loves it but is working hard!


@Amother Black, my daughter is there too now! She's very happy, but also, working very hard. It sounds like a really nice group of girls.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Fri, Nov 16 2018, 10:22 am
OP, my kids aren't old enough for me to know much and I myself went 18 years ago, so I can't be too much help for you, but a few things:

First, I want to wish you Hatzlacha. Let us know what else you learn and how it goes.

I went to Ateres. I don't know how it is now, but when I went, it was BY light and pretty much fit your wishlist. Yes, there was quite the mix of girls and I couldn't have gone if I wasn't very grounded. The girls could have changed and of course the school is a different experience because it moved out of Rachavia.

I also feel like we mostly hear people like Ateres. Am I wrong or is it rare to hear a girl is unhappy there?

I would like to hear more recent information on Ateres if anyone has any!
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amother
Brown


 

Post Fri, Nov 16 2018, 2:55 pm
amother wrote:

I went to Ateres. I don't know how it is now, but when I went, it was BY light and pretty much fit your wishlist. Yes, there was quite the mix of girls and I couldn't have gone if I wasn't very grounded. The girls could have changed and of course the school is a different experience because it moved out of Rachavia.

I also feel like we mostly hear people like Ateres. Am I wrong or is it rare to hear a girl is unhappy there?

I would like to hear more recent information on Ateres if anyone has any!


I went to Ateres within the last 5 years, I am told that the crowd is more bais yaakov than it was when it was in Rachavia. Ateres attracts a more out of town crowd, and the girls from the tri-state area are girls who specifically want Ateres because the girls are more diverse, open minded and less into styles and trends.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Fri, Nov 16 2018, 3:52 pm
amother wrote:

I also feel like we mostly hear people like Ateres. Am I wrong or is it rare to hear a girl is unhappy there?

I would like to hear more recent information on Ateres if anyone has any!

My daughter is in Ateres now. She's a solid, frum, extremely responsible girl (if I do say so myself) who chose Ateres with the hope of benefiting from warm, caring, sincere staff. Her biggest concern was that the atmosphere/ girls be appropriate.

BH she's made many good friends who she respects, though apparently there definitely are girls who are involved in rather unsavory activities. She finds the classes to be great, though there's more work than she expected (a positive for her). However, she and many others have been very turned off by various members of the hanhala- and these are the good girls. She does not feel that many staff members relate to the girls with basic respect, nor that they show much caring.

I'm not comfortable discussing in greater detail online. Just please, if you're attracted to Ateres because of the alleged warmth and caring of the hanhala, do your homework. Speak to girls who are currently there.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Sat, Nov 17 2018, 4:20 pm
I know its not about the gashmius but I feel its worth considering how the girls live. One or 2 sems you've all mentioned have 4 bunk beds per a small room with no living space at all. The girls there currently, ive heard, (a group of my dd friends) feel overwhelmed by the lack of mental/physical space. I feel one should consider if their girl can handle living like that. Camp is one thing. 9 mths is quite another. And while none of them need luxury...some styles of living may not suit all.
Just another consideration to throw into the mix.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sat, Nov 17 2018, 11:28 pm
amother wrote:
My daughter is in Ateres now. She's a solid, frum, extremely responsible girl (if I do say so myself) who chose Ateres with the hope of benefiting from warm, caring, sincere staff. Her biggest concern was that the atmosphere/ girls be appropriate.

BH she's made many good friends who she respects, though apparently there definitely are girls who are involved in rather unsavory activities. She finds the classes to be great, though there's more work than she expected (a positive for her). However, she and many others have been very turned off by various members of the hanhala- and these are the good girls. She does not feel that many staff members relate to the girls with basic respect, nor that they show much caring.

I'm not comfortable discussing in greater detail online. Just please, if you're attracted to Ateres because of the alleged warmth and caring of the hanhala, do your homework. Speak to girls who are currently there.


Unsavory activities? shock
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 12:01 am
amother wrote:
Unsavory activities? shock



Nothing new...

http://semgirl.blogspot.com/2005/08/
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 8:48 am
I have to say that this whole process is quite overwhelming. Based on the feedback here as well as the research I am doing in real life, I have a deeper understanding that there is no perfect place.

I so desperately want her to have a fabulous seminary experience since her high school years were not very rewarding. Knowing her the way I do, I feel that if she is with a nice chevra, she will be able to overlook a lot of drawbacks. But as a mom, I really would like her to have it all.
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ludicrous




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 2:13 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
Nothing new...

http://semgirl.blogspot.com/2005/08/


my filter doesn't let
can someone tell what the sem girls are up too?
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:14 pm
ludicrous wrote:
my filter doesn't let
can someone tell what the sem girls are up too?

I also can't open the blog. Most of the girls are aidel and frum, but my DD now knows what a drunk supposed BY girl looks like. Maybe DD is naive but she found it shocking. Also a small minority of girls meet/ speak with guys. I know this might be accepted in other circles but, for a typical BY girl, this is also shocking.
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Purple2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 3:22 pm
Op, where is your daughters seminary advisor? Most schools have someone that can explain the nuances between the different schools. The answers you are getting here are all over the place.
Some of the schools mentioned are extremely academic, and competitive to be accepted into. some are for students who are not academically strong, and people are advising both. Your daughters school should know your child and what would be a fit for her.
There’s usually a few options that fit the bill.
I would also advise following up with bnos Avigayil. It’s more “out of towny”, and warm. I can’t understand how she wouldn’t accept girls from your daughters school as it’s not a difficult seminary to “get into”. Some of the other seminaries mentioned are much much harder to get into then there.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 4:17 pm
Thank you camp. My daughters seminary advisors are strongly pushing very academic and very strong BY seminaries for my daughter.

Can she fit in those places? Definitely. But being that she already has a “strike” against her by not attending strong BY elementary and high schools, they are also advising me that she most likely won’t be accepted. So I pushed back for names of seminaries that she has a greater chance of being accepted.

They didn’t have a tremendous amounts of feedback. Probably because it’s a very hard combination to find. I am tagging in as many people IRL along with this fabulous online community. If I can have her apply to 3 good choices I will be happy.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 5:37 pm
amother wrote:
I also can't open the blog. Most of the girls are aidel and frum, but my DD now knows what a drunk supposed BY girl looks like. Maybe DD is naive but she found it shocking. Also a small minority of girls meet/ speak with guys. I know this might be accepted in other circles but, for a typical BY girl, this is also shocking.


TUESDAY, AUGUST 16, 2005

My Take on Dating during Seminary Year

Ok, I've been mean meaning to post for a long time and stuff kept coming up. I have really been meaning to gripe about the famous Tznius letter but that will have to wait a bit.

With all due respect to my newest blog-friend Elisheva, I'd like to tell things from my perspective. Although, it is very true that many boys in Israel can mislead girls, either because they are just plain mean, or more often out of sheer desperation. However, it also happens with girls.

One day, I walked into a dorm room, without knocking first and was horrified by what I saw. Over the next few weeks, I witnessed some other very disturbing things. Coming from a very sheltered home in a very insulated community, I was totally shocked. It was then that I realized that it was imperative that I find a boyfriend, both to maintain my sanity, as well as, just to make my stay in Israel a lot more fun and enjoyable. (No, not that kind of fun, get your head out of the gutter, JI, CJ, and the rest of the boys who come here with vivid imaginations).

My favorite places to meet included the King George Plaza in Jerusalem, and Diezengoff in Tel Aviv. There you can always find the cutest American, English, and Australian bochurim. Lets see go on tiyulim (tours) to museums or Tiverya, Sfas and other shidduch-segula places with some nauseatingly, frummy girls or a hot club in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem, or some exciting camping trip in Timna, or just ice-cream on the plaza with a nice sweet guy. Talk about your no-brainers. Fortunately, the drinking age there is not 21, like here and its very easy to bribe or flirt your way into most places. The lure of it all was, hey my parents (especially my father) isn't here lets party.

I must admit that I really regret letting some potentially good shidduchim get away, on account on my level of immaturity. Usually, the boys were much less interested in serious shidduch-dating then I was. But once or twice a bochur started to get a lil serious. I would really try as compassionately as I could, to tell him, that myself, my parents and family would probably not consider him an appropriate shidduch, but you make a great boyfriend. Looking back, I feel bad, but my hormones were clearing overpowering my mind and judgement.

B"h, I have grown up a lot since then. I still have occasional "boyfriends", but at least I am not aggressively pursuing such relationships. And after one or two "dates", if I see that they have zero potential for a Shidduch, I usually end it. Ok, ok, sometimes I still "hang-out" a bit. I am just a Lakewood girl in 2005, not Bas Kalba Sovua ( a famous lady from Talmudic Times).

When you are raised in a very rigid, intense gender-segregated community and your father never stops preaching to you, just holding a boy's hand can feel infinitely more thrilling then hours of the best love-making for your contemporary non-Jewish cosmo-girl. I am not totally rebelling against the system and I definitely want my children to have pretty much the same committment to Torah and Yiddishkeit. All I am saying is let me breathe.

I realize that some of you will Mussar me out for this. May I humbly suggest that you instead say Tehillim that I find my Beshert soon..


posted by SemGirl | Tuesday, August 16, 2005 | 117 comments
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Purple2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 6:24 pm
Op, why would the school advise a seminary that they’re saying she wouldn’t get into? That seems odd. If they’re advising these schools, ask if they have a relationship and a track record with those schools of girls getting accepted.
All seminary advisors have an idea of what types of grades will make the cut and what types of girls they’re looking for.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Nov 18 2018, 7:26 pm
Thanks camp. I can understand how not knowing the background of the situation makes this all seem very confusing. I believe everyone that is helping me truly has my daughters best interest at heart, but I still need to do my due diligence.

Thank you for all your feedback.
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