At my wits end with my 8 month old!

amother

Plum

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 10:17 pm

DD cries for me to hold her all evening!! I can't get anything done!!
She would play a bit on the floor when the other kids are around right when we get home in the afternoon. then she usually naps for 45 min and wakes up when the other little ones are sleeping. its a mix of putting her on the floor with toys, her crying, me ignoring, or talking to her a bit, her screaming even louder and louder until I just pick her up. then I try again little later and the same scene!! I'm going nuts from her!!

I need to clean my supper table, wash dishes and she's jsut kvetching and screaming unless I pick her up!

amother

Salmon

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 11:13 pm

Hugs! It's a stage. My son was like that from the moment he noticed I was expecting my second. It's difficult... I never really found solutions:( B'H he's been better in the last few months.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 11 2019, 11:29 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 3:02 am

Maybe she’s not “napping” those 45 minutes, maybe it’s the start of her night and just comes out of her first sleep cycle, and needs to be put back to sleep. She’s miserable because her circadian rhythm is telling her body to sleep.

An 8 month old should be in bed for the night (not necessarily sleeping without feeding) at around 6/7 pm for 11-12 hours.

myname1

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 3:50 am

amother wrote:

I'm having a very similar issue with my 8 month old. She takes a nap at like 6 for 45 minutes, and then wakes up and seems still sleepy. So I nurse her in the dark room but then she wakes up and doesn't want to go back to bed! So I want it to be the start of her night, but she disagrees. She also doesn't want to sleep without nursing or rocking in the stroller. which is a related but separate issue. I think the bigger kids being up and especially hyper at that time is part of the problem.

myname1

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 3:55 am

I just reread and saw that yours wakes up when your others are sleeping, so I guess the others aren't keeping her up in your case. How does she usually go to sleep? I agree you should give that a try. If that doesn't work, have you tried rocking in a stroller or wearing her in a carrier in order to be able to get some chores done? It will very likely rock her to sleep, which might help as well.

DVOM

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 9:03 am

Baby carrier! My youngest is now a delightful 3 1/2-year-old, but from ages 0-2 he was a terrorist. The kid's legs barely touched the floor. Its a miracle he learned to crawl and walk because it was almost impossible to put him down for more than 5 minutes. We took him to the pediatrician frequently, certain there was something hurting him. Nope, he was fine. He just wanted to be held. All the time.

We invested in a really good front infant carrier, and when he got older, in a back carrier. He was strapped to mine or my husband's torso most of the evening. I was able to cook, clean, do HW... it really saved our skin.

amother

Plum

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 10:03 am

thanks for all your replies!
I really don't think its an issue of her waking up from her 'nap' and needing to go back to sleep.

I try to push off the nap but she sometimes will cry so hard and then fall asleep in my hands. she wakes up 45-1 hr later and is babbling and happy and smiling and ready to come out an play. I tried a few times to just nurse her again and rock her back to sleep but all she does is scream even louder. pick her head up high and look at me is the saddest eyes to please get her out of her crib.

I know my kids. they hardly sleep Crying

but her wanting to be held all night is getting insane!

amother

Copper

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 1:48 pm

She sounds overtired... when she wakes up after her 45 minute nap, nurse her, change her diaper if necessary and stay with her in the dark room calming her until she falls back asleep... it might be hard for a few days to keep going back into her ( please don't let her cry it out) but eventually she will learn that it's night. She will be happier and you will be happier:) keep on saying a cueing phrase like " ---- it's time to sleep" so she associates it with sleeping and soothe her . Whatever you do don't bring her into the light just keep her company in the dark.. hugs it's a hard stage!
Also when she cries to be held; hold her... you won't regret holding her too much;)
Much nachas!

tichellady

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 1:52 pm

Sounds challenging but totally normal to me. My baby also wants me to hold her all the time, especially in the early evening when she’s tired. Sorry that’s not so helpful. Can you get a mother’s helper or someone to help out at night?

amother

Copper

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 1:57 pm

I just reread your post... I am confused when you are giving her this nap. I thought it was at a time that could be night ... obviously if it's at 530 then don't keep her in her room till the morning. Start your bedtime routine ( examples ; give a bath/ give baby massage/ sing a song/ Shema )at around 6 -630 and try to have her in bed by 645- 700 and then keep on going back into her to nurse her and sooth her but keep her in the dark so her body learns the difference between night and day...

amother

Plum

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 2:03 pm

amother wrote:

I don't know. I really don't think its overtired. once or twice recently I was able to push off her 'nap' until 8pm and put her in for the night then she was up at 9pm babbling away. not at all interested in going back to sleep. the actual night she is very good with. she wakes up once to eat at like 4am and then 7am and will sometimes even go back to sleep then for a little.
once I get her to bed at like 10:30/11pm she sleeps straight thru so I son't think she can go to bed at 7pm. I wish. but as much as I tried it won't work.

and I never let her cry more than 3 mins.

amother

Plum

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 2:06 pm

tichellady wrote:

thanks! I wish I had help! I have a sister that is soo bored at night. (seminary age) and she used to come help me out. now that she has her license she tells me that as long as the car is in the driveway she's busy. I miss her company and help and my mom wishes she would come to me to at least do something concrete with her time than sitting on the couch but she is not interested anymore Sad

paying someone is not an option...

amother

Plum

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 2:09 pm

amother wrote:

so her daily schedule is something like this:
wake up around 8am
nap from 10:30 to 12pm
nap again for a short time around 2pm-3pm
and then at 6pm she is soo tired but then my issue above starts...she just needs a nap. isn't ready for bed for the night so early. my other kids all had this schedule but played nicely at night and didn't need me to hold them the entire time!

how can I change her sched?

Teomima

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 2:19 pm

I totally agree with above posters advocating for a baby carrier. At that age you can use a back carrier (personally I love my ergo) and it's really no effort at all to wear a baby and get stuff done. Two of my children needed to be held/carried all the time when they were little and a good carrier was a lifesaver.

amother

Copper

Thu, Nov 22 2018, 3:22 pm

I used to be just like you with my earlier kids... they were up till late and some were easier then others. I would be so confused when people would say they put their 6 month olds to bed at 7 etc...
But I have done research and spoke around and really that's what's best for the babies. At 8 months she should be in bed at 7... it's totally normal to wake up tons of times( I just nurse them and they go back to sleep) obviously that's a separate issue on how to keep a baby sleeping straight...)
But with my last baby I did this and it's such a game changer! She goes to sleep at 7 and it's so much better for her! Looking back I think the reason that my babies were difficult was because they were so overtired I didn't even realize. By keeping them up I was messing up their sleep cycles...
I wish someone would have told me this what I'm telling you.
Loads of hatzlacha figuring this out! Sleep and babies can be really complex😀