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Support group based on book "empowered wife"
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 5:47 am
Hi. Working with the book by Laura Doyle "Empowered wife " wonders....looking for a jewish support group. Anyone ??[b]

Last edited by amother on Tue, Mar 05 2019, 7:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 5:54 am
Chaya juravel in Monsey runs an 8 week course with a support group. Its anonymous but you can meet b people thru her if you both agree
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 8:03 am
Thanks I googled her name and saw an ad. So thoughtful of you.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Mar 05 2019, 7:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 9:44 am
Can someone please explain the difference between Doyle's 3 books?
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sarahmalka




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 3:46 pm
I'm also interested in participating in a support forum about the Doyle books. There's an older thread on this, I'm not sure how active it is (my participation on imamother can be pretty intermittent). Amother forestgreen, I didn't find much of a big difference in any of her books. There was a lot of repetition, for me. Not that repetition is bad.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 3:49 pm
They're all the same book.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 3:53 pm
Can we make a support group right here?
I remember that old thread, haven't seen it in a long time though... Maybe we can restart here?
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 3:55 pm
I don't suggest we do it on imamother because there are a lot of non supportive people on imamother who wont have read the book who will jump in.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 4:29 pm
ectomorph wrote:
They're all the same book.


Mistameh she wrote Empowered Wife because so many people found Surrendered Wife to be an offensive term. (Which it is.) If as you say it gives the same message, then that’s false advertising.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 4:33 pm
zaq wrote:
Mistameh she wrote Empowered Wife because so many people found Surrendered Wife to be an offensive term. (Which it is.) If as you say it gives the same message, then that’s false advertising.
a lot of people were uncomfortable with the term surrendered wife so she switched its to empowered wife

Seems pretty practical to me

By surrendered she never meant that you give up your entire will to your husband. That's what people took it to mean
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 4:39 pm
ectomorph wrote:

By surrendered she never meant that you give up your entire will to your husband. That's what people took it to mean


Well, I’m glad she got her vocabulary straight. Because yes, that’s what “surrender” means, and I quote: “ to give oneself up to another’s power or control, esp. as a prisoner.” How could anyone interpret the term “surrendered wife” as anything else?
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 11 2019, 4:46 pm
zaq wrote:
Well, I’m glad she got her vocabulary straight. Because yes, that’s what “surrender” means, and I quote: “ to give oneself up to another’s power or control, esp. as a prisoner.” How could anyone interpret the term “surrendered wife” as anything else?

Did you ever read her books

When you force or guilt or pressure your husband to do what you want to do, even if he does it , it doesn't feel like he's doing it Out of Love.

Her book is communication skills how to make yourself a more receiving feminine person whose husband wants to please her and understands her.

The idea is that your husband will want to give you the attention that you crave and will want to take care of you... you just have to learn how to express yourself and handle yourself
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amother
Tan


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:15 pm
Why would you look to a non-religious person for advice?

This always amazes me when I see religious women reading self help books and books on child rearing from non-religious non-shomer shabbos jews.

What wisdom do you think they can offer you?

They are just trying to sell books and have no real solutions.

Look to Torah instead, there are plenty of Rabbis who speak on Shalom Bayis. I just heard a lecture by Rabbi Manis Friedman for free on Youtube on this topic which was great.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:19 pm
amother wrote:
Why would you look to a non-religious person for advice?

This always amazes me when I see religious women reading self help books and books on child rearing from non-religious non-shomer shabbos jews.

What wisdom do you think they can offer you?

They are just trying to sell books and have no real solutions.

Look to Torah instead, there are plenty of Rabbis who speak on Shalom Bayis. I just heard a lecture by Rabbi Manis Friedman for free on Youtube on this topic which was great.


חכמה בגויים תאמין

Chazal tell us that there is wisdom to be gained from all of the nations. Many of the rabbanim, rebbetzins and other frum people who advise and teach have gleaned much of their knowledge and recommendations from the chochma of the non jews.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:21 pm
amother wrote:
Why would you look to a non-religious person for advice?

This always amazes me when I see religious women reading self help books and books on child rearing from non-religious non-shomer shabbos jews.

What wisdom do you think they can offer you?

They are just trying to sell books and have no real solutions.

Look to Torah instead, there are plenty of Rabbis who speak on Shalom Bayis. I just heard a lecture by Rabbi Manis Friedman for free on Youtube on this topic which was great.

Chochma bagoyim taamin.

I'm not going to her book for hashkafa but rather for practical tools of communication. Rabbi friedman is nice but he doesn't have a clear system with phrases that are easy to implement.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:30 pm
Ok, but I have never found much wisdom in those self help books. Usually an empty shell with a pretty wrapping. I have found solutions in Torah though. So good luck to all!
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:51 pm
amother wrote:
Ok, but I have never found much wisdom in those self help books. Usually an empty shell with a pretty wrapping. I have found solutions in Torah though. So good luck to all!


That's a shame. Some people don't work well from books and need to hear it from a speaker. Personally, I have gained a tremendous amount that I have BH been able to share with others. And when I hear frum speakers on those topics, they use much of the same material.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 18 2019, 6:31 am
amother wrote:
Why would you look to a non-religious person for advice?

This always amazes me when I see religious women reading self help books and books on child rearing from non-religious non-shomer shabbos jews.

What wisdom do you think they can offer you?

They are just trying to sell books and have no real solutions.

Look to Torah instead, there are plenty of Rabbis who speak on Shalom Bayis. I just heard a lecture by Rabbi Manis Friedman for free on Youtube on this topic which was great.

To blazes with them both, not because of either of their religious beliefs but because of each of their execrable ideas about marriage.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 18 2019, 6:36 am
amother wrote:
Ok, but I have never found much wisdom in those self help books. Usually an empty shell with a pretty wrapping. I have found solutions in Torah though. So good luck to all!

Most self-help books are junk.

The empowered wife and how to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk are not self-help books

They are practical wisdom with lots of classical communication strategies that help in tons of different situations is a lot of crossover.

For instance the empowered wife says to think "sometimes my husband does and sometimes he doesn't" instead of thinking to yourself he always does X. This helps change your frame of mind and catch him when he does do it right even in a small way so that you can give positive feedback.

I use this with my kids. I tell them "sometimes you like playing with your brother and sometimes you don't" when they say "I hate playing with my sister"
Obviously in context but you get the point.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Mon, Feb 18 2019, 12:23 pm
I would be very interested in such a group!!! I recently started reading the empowered wife after seeing it recommended here so strongly. I see myself in a lot of it. Especially the importance of having friends to talk to. I don't have that and haven't for a really long time!! I am sure that it would benefit my shalom Bayis but I have been unsuccessful making friends for so long I have given up Sad!!!
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