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Let's Write the Next Great Frum Novel
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MitzadSheini




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 3:07 am
Oi. Oi. What a day. What a week. Finally 10 minutes of me time, thought Rivka. The children were all asleep Baruch Hashem, and YY was safely out a a shiur. She crawled into bed, pulled up the doona, fluffed the pillow, and slid the iPad out from the drawer in the nightstand.

The website was one click away.

Username: Ithinkiamatzeddekes
Password: Qwerty123

She only had 10 minutes, she realized as she adjusted her snood anxiously.

Better get straight to it.

Her eyes narrowed in thought as she clicked.

{New Topic}

{Shalom Bayis Issues and Dilemas}

Hmmm. What to say? How to title the thread?

{Help! DH being questioned by FBI!}

That's pretty much to the point. And eye catching as well

{Hello ladies}

She began.

{Title pretty much says it all........-}

She heard YY's key in the lock. That'll do I'll finish it later.

{Post Anonymously?} Yes

Tab closed, history deleted, iPad shut down and in the draw before YY could hang his hat on the hook and put his keys and wallet on the table in the foyer.

"Hello YY. How are you? How was it? I'm upstairs."


Last edited by MitzadSheini on Sun, Dec 09 2018, 3:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MitzadSheini




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 3:54 am
(I'm not happy with the username.
And someone needs to flesh out the op)
-Mtzad as Ed.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 5:10 am
Hey ladies! I have no idea whats happening in this story. Well done!! Can someone give me an executive summary? LOL LOL
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Boca00




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 7:09 am
SuperWify wrote:
Mrs. Boruch shook her head sadly as she readjusted her sheitel and then gently hung up the phone. Her poor poor Yankel Yossel Yitzchak. Married to a woman who really couldn’t get her act together. She had promised her dear son to come up with solution and she was determined to find one. There was no reason in the works for her little poor YY to suffer any longer!!

She wiped the down the counters again, set the table with China, and warmed up her dear Zanvil’s food. It was 9:28 and he was due to arrive any minute. As She quickly and expertly reapplied her lipstick she heard her daughter call, “Mommy!” From upstairs.

In a sugary sweet voice Mrs. Boruch called, “darling, Tatty will be home in one minute. If he sees you up...” she let the warming dangle... the half precious hour of dinner for her and her her dear Zambia was sacred and all her 13 children knew not to date disturb. Her daughter didn’t reply. Mrs. Baruch smiled as she heard the sound of feet scampering back to where they belong.

Now”, she mused, “Poor Rivka was an orphan. Perhaps that was why she does not know the correct way to king ones husband..”

As her dear husband walked into their palace her minded furiously searched for a solution to the perplexing and difficult nisayon her dear poor little YY was facing.


Mrs. Boruch glanced in the gleaming mirror to adjust her sheital, and surreptiously wiped off a fingerprint in the corner.

Rivka made a good impression, she reflected. She really had her heart in the right place. She probably just needed to be shown how to properly run a home.

Mrs. Boruch squared her shoulders, and strode up to her grey Camry. She was up for the challenge.


Last edited by Boca00 on Sun, Dec 09 2018, 12:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 8:08 am
BC= baby catcher

As in let’s use the baby catcher for a while. So that we can have a break.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 8:12 am
amother wrote:
BC= baby catcher

As in let’s use the baby catcher for a while. So that we can have a break.

Are you giving an alternative screenname or a kosher term for something obviously assur?
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mommy2379




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 8:17 am
I stopped reading on page 4 or 5 just like a real frum novel! I say mission accomplished. Good job folks.
edited to add: not because the writing was bad, but because I could no longer follow the plot!


Last edited by mommy2379 on Sun, Dec 09 2018, 10:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 8:18 am
Iymnok wrote:
Are you giving an alternative screenname or a kosher term for something obviously assur?

Kosher term
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 8:22 am
mommy2379 wrote:
I stopped reading on page 4 or 5 just like a real frum novel! I say mission accomplished. Good job folks.

Did Mrs Boruch confront her DIL?
Did YY get arrested?
More please!!
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 9:23 am
amother wrote:
Kosher term


The correct term is “baby killer”
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WitchKitty




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 10:15 am
SuperWify wrote:
The correct term is “baby killer”

👍
But you mean, BC= Baby Ciller
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MitzadSheini




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 11:26 am
Boca00 wrote:
Mrs. Boruch glanced in the gleaming mirror to adjust her sheital, and surreptiously wiped off a fingerprint in the corner.

Rivka made a good impression, she reflected. She really had her heart in the right place. She probably just needed to be shown how to properly run a home.

Mrs. Boruch squared her shoulders, and walked up to her grey Camry. She was up for the challenge.


(WONDERFUL use of the word "reflected" while looking into a mirror.)

- Mitzad as ed.
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mommy2379




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 11:29 am
MitzadSheini wrote:
(WONDERFUL use of the word "reflected" while looking into a mirror.)

- Mitzad as ed.

lol!
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 1:08 pm
Why hasn’t Shifra gone back to work to support her husband in Kollel? She’s already six(!) weeks postpartum! She’s really slacking.
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cuties' mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 1:15 pm
"Come down," YY called. "We have company!"
Not the FBI again, Rivka thought as she headed down the stairs. When she saw who it was, she wished it was the FBI instead of her uninvited guest.
"So, how is everything?" Mrs. Baruch asked.
"Baruch Hashem," Rivka said. "How are you doing?"
"Things are good," Mrs. Baruch responded. "Do you have a snack or anything?"
"I have some fruit," Rivka said. "I'm still trying to get to my pre-baby weight."
"Even if you're on a diet, the rest of your family isn't," Mrs. Baruch admonished. "A good wife always has something waiting for her husband to eat when he gets home."
"I guess I'm not a good wife," Rivka sniffed.
"It's not your fault," Mrs. Baruch consoled her. "Your mother wasn't the best example."
"Actually, I think my mother was a pretty good example," Rivka corrected. "And my father was a perfect example of a good husband."
"I'm sure he was," Mrs. Baruch agreed, "but a house should be spotless. What's with these used cups on the table?"
"I forgot about them," Rivka admitted. "We had unexpected company last night, and it upset me."
"Who came?" YY asked curiously.
"I'll tell you later," Rivka said. "I meant to tell you today but didn't get a chance."
"Who was it?" Mrs. Boruch asked.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 1:52 pm
cuties' mom wrote:
...Not the FBI again, Rivka thought as she headed down the stairs. When she saw who it was, she wished it was the FBI instead of her uninvited guest.
"So, how is everything?" Mrs. Baruch asked.

LOL Wonderful!
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 3:41 pm
cuties' mom wrote:
"Come down," YY called. "We have company!"
Not the FBI again, Rivka thought as she headed down the stairs. When she saw who it was, she wished it was the FBI instead of her uninvited guest.
"So, how is everything?" Mrs. Baruch asked.
"Baruch Hashem," Rivka said. "How are you doing?"
"Things are good," Mrs. Baruch responded. "Do you have a snack or anything?"
"I have some fruit," Rivka said. "I'm still trying to get to my pre-baby weight."
"Even if you're on a diet, the rest of your family isn't," Mrs. Baruch admonished. "A good wife always has something waiting for her husband to eat when he gets home."
"I guess I'm not a good wife," Rivka sniffed.
"It's not your fault," Mrs. Baruch consoled her. "Your mother wasn't the best example."
"Actually, I think my mother was a pretty good example," Rivka corrected. "And my father was a perfect example of a good husband."
"I'm sure he was," Mrs. Baruch agreed, "but a house should be spotless. What's with these used cups on the table?"
"I forgot about them," Rivka admitted. "We had unexpected company last night, and it upset me."
"Who came?" YY asked curiously.
"I'll tell you later," Rivka said. "I meant to tell you today but didn't get a chance."
"Who was it?" Mrs. Boruch asked.


“N-nothing important.” Rivka Razel stammered. “Just an old friend.”
Rivka Raizel let out a sigh of relief when her mother in law made herself comfortable on her sagging couch. Her eyes took on a glazed faraway look.

“M-ma does Tatty know?”

Yitzel Yehuda looked away in shame. His fathers banishment was a painful and harsh reality.

Her mother in law snapped back into reality, “of course! Everything is fine. Fine. Just lovely. What’s wrong with me visiting my dear son? What? A mother can’t see her own flesh and blood? Please,” she waved her hand away almost carelessly but not quite, “why would Tatty care?”

No one bothered to disagree with her.

“So Ma,” said YY, “it’s great to have you here,” he prompted.

“Of course! But aren’t you going to maariv and night Seder? Dear Raizel Rivka and I will have an nice talk.”

Rivka Raizel didn’t bother correcting her name. She just shriveled under her mother in laws perfectly made up eyelids. Awkwardly she smoothed her lopsided snood and tried to hide the ketchup stain on her skirt.

“Yes ma.” Like an obedient lad YY got up put on his hat and jacket and made his way to the door.

Rivka Raizel almost fainted in shock! “YY id never thought I’d love to see the day you go to maariv again!” Gleefully she clapped her hands like an excited schoolgirl, “How wonderful!”

RR took one look at her husband’s ashen face and this time she actually fainted but not before seeing her mother in laws eyes bulging out of their sockets.

It wasn’t wonderful at all.

She let YYs deep and dark secret out of the bag....
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Boca00




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 4:18 pm
SuperWify wrote:
Shifra woke up with a start. She quickly adjusted her snood that slipped down over eyes. The room was very dark. She had fallen asleep before Zanvil came home!! The shame! The total embarrassment! She really hoped he remembered to ask the Rav about the Shaila she had.

She quietly tiptoed past the three sleeping (Baruch Hashem!) babies and left the room closing the door behind her. Zanvil was standing there his eyes narrowed. “You fell asleep.” His voice sounded dangerously accusing.

Shifra’s shoulders sagged with shame. She took a deep breath, “I-I was putting the babies back to sleep. It was an accident, I promise!”

“I just don’t understand.” Zanvil retorted angryly, “for 2 whole weeks you laid in bed like a queen until the babies were born and then a whole week afterwards. The babies are already six weeks, why can’t you get your act together??? Look at you!” He gestured to her tired bare face, dirty shirt and shlumpy snood and wobbly stomach. “Look at the this!” He pointed to the halfway, the floor was covered with laundry. “I can’t even get a normal nights sleep because every minute another baby is crying!! There’s no food to eat other that frozen pizza! Why can you be more organized?like your mother?”

Shifra stayed to cry.

Zanvil felt a little bit better, “oh Shifra, I’m so happy you understand where you went wrong. It’s ok,” he said generously, “I”ll forgive you. If you have your act together by tomorrow morning. You have all night to clean up.” He paused, “and exercise.” He turned to go but was astonished to hear Shifra crying harder.

“I don’t understand!” He was so frustrated with her.

“What do you mean you don’t understand?!? I gave birth to three- THREE- babies less than six weeks ago and his royal highness expects his life to be neatly put back together so he can go learn all day???”

Zanvil sat down in shock. His wife had never ever raised her voice at him in the seven years of their marriage. Something was very very wrong with her. In the distance he could hear all three babies waking up and his 1 1/2 year old calling for milk. Worse he saw Shifra go into their room and slam the door without even going to the babies. She had not internalized a blessed thing he said! He thought about all the Binah magazines he read about woman going crazy after giving birth and a cold icy hand gripped his heart and refused to bug off.

THe babies continued to wail and Shifra refused to come out. He opened the door to their door and was astonished to see her fast asleep. What a lazy woman!!

He went to wake up there oldest six year old Shaina Shani. Shania Shani obdeintly changed the diapers of all three babies, and made a bottle for little Shabsi Shmiel who poor boy went right back to sleep sucking his thumb. BH he didn’t wake up his twin Shira Sara. The babies continued to wail. “Tatty should I make them formula baba’s?”

“F-formula?” Zanvil stuttered, “doesn’t Mommy have to feed them?”

“Mommy’s Doctor said she can’t feed them from her tummy because she doesn’t have enough milk there.”

Zanvil blushed from his daughters description. Then his face turned redder with anger. His wife stopped nursing! She gave up on her precious yiddeshe job!!!

He thought about what she told him the night before and his knuckles turned white. She told him, “Zanvil, in the seven years we were married I gave birth to eight children! A 6 year old, 5 year old, 3 1/2 year old, 1 1/2 year old twins, and now newborn triplets. I need a break! I can’t I’m falling apart!”

“A break? Ok so go take a walk for ten minutes, I’ll call one of my bochrim to babysit. Oh forget it’s yichud...”

“No Zanvil.” She wept, “I need a real break from having babies!”

Zanvil turned around and slammed the door in shock anger and betrayal. She asked for BIRTH CONTROL!!!!!!


The street lamps cast an eerie glow on the deserted street. Zanvil drove mindlessly, the rain beating his windsheild relentlessly.

How had this happened to him, the star of his yeshiva basketball team? He, Zanvil, who came into the marriage with a long list of accomplishments. Why, he still remembered the time he won the cholent-eating contest in 2005. Guys in the dirah still spoke in hushed tones of how he made popcorn in the dryer and raided the kitchen for Taster's Choice coffee.

He should have listened to Fishel, who had declared Shifra Shprintza as "not shayach", when he heard they were dating. Shifra Shprintza was clearly a fraud. Her BJJ diploma, million chessed hours, and talk of mesirus nefesh, were, sadly, no indication of the person she was inside.

He was going to have to talk to R' Aron tomorrow. He very possibly had a case of mekach ta'us on his hands.
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advocate




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 11 2018, 6:03 pm
Oh, please, writer Mothers, please don't stop!
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 11 2018, 6:48 pm
Yes, this is the funniest thread in a long time!
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