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I have a problem with a teacher
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:09 pm
I spoke to the teacher and there's nobody home. It's not about my child specifically but about classroom management, encouragement and teaching as a whole. I want the principal to get involved. But I'm worried that if I speak to the principal, it will come back to the teacher that I'm the one who called to complain, and my child will be the one to lose out.

Is there any way I can bring this teacher's behavior and attitude to the attention of the principal without it getting back to the teacher?
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:16 pm
Change doesn’t happen unless people speak up. You are your child’s biggest (and only) advocate. Speak to the principal. You should not be concerned about whether the teacher knows it’s you. Any teacher that lets it out on your daughter is childish.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:17 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Change doesn’t happen unless people speak up. You are your child’s biggest (and only) advocate. Speak to the principal. You should not be concerned about whether the teacher knows it’s you. Any teacher that lets it out on your daughter is childish.


This.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:20 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Change doesn’t happen unless people speak up. You are your child’s biggest (and only) advocate. Speak to the principal. You should not be concerned about whether the teacher knows it’s you. Any teacher that lets it out on your daughter is childish.

I think teachers are sometimes very mean and could be revengeful. I have seen a lot of mean and even abusive teachers unfortunately
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:26 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Change doesn’t happen unless people speak up. You are your child’s biggest (and only) advocate. Speak to the principal. You should not be concerned about whether the teacher knows it’s you. Any teacher that lets it out on your daughter is childish.

That's one of the problems I have. This teacher acts childishly with the children and then hands out consequences when they reciprocate. Thank g-d the consequences aren't bad ones per se, but the teacher is bad for chinuch, for motivation towards learning, actual education...

My suggested solution would involve intense training for this teacher or to be shown the door, none of which will come fast enough to be of benefit to my child. However, I see it as my moral obligation to notify the superiors of what's going on, if not for my child then for future children.
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ellacoe




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:26 pm
Can you have the conversation without specifically criticizing the teacher? Rather speak with the Principal and point out what you would like to see (as opposed to what is going on), approaching the situation from the positive side?
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:36 pm
ellacoe wrote:
Can you have the conversation without specifically criticizing the teacher? Rather speak with the Principal and point out what you would like to see (as opposed to what is going on), approaching the situation from the positive side?

Can you give me examples?
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 7:59 pm
ellacoe wrote:
Can you have the conversation without specifically criticizing the teacher? Rather speak with the Principal and point out what you would like to see (as opposed to what is going on), approaching the situation from the positive side?


Do you have girls in school? Have you ever had to deal with a situation similar to this? All the positive "I" messages are nice and dandy when the teacher is receptive, which this one is not. The principal is likely aware that there's a general problem but spelling out specifics will enable her to deal with it effectively.

As for vengeful teachers: A few years ago, when I got nowhere with dd's 4th grade teacher I let her know in advance that I was calling the principal the next day. This gave her time to approach the principal and discuss the issues with her before I called. Before we hung up the phone I told her clearly that, as a teacher, I know how tempting it is to take revenge on the child of a difficult parent and that she'd better make sure that didn't happen. I then asked if she understood me loudly and clearly. She said she did. Once the issue was dealt with (the teacher stopped insulting the class, and making biting comments to 10-year-olds), the rest of the year went smoothly.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:07 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Do you have girls in school? Have you ever had to deal with a situation similar to this? All the positive "I" messages are nice and dandy when the teacher is receptive, which this one is not. The principal is likely aware that there's a general problem but spelling out specifics will enable her to deal with it effectively.

As for vengeful teachers: A few years ago, when I got nowhere with dd's 4th grade teacher I let her know in advance that I was calling the principal the next day. This gave her time to approach the principal and discuss the issues with her before I called. Before we hung up the phone I told her clearly that, as a teacher, I know how tempting it is to take revenge on the child of a difficult parent and that she'd better make sure that didn't happen. I then asked if she understood me loudly and clearly. She said she did. Once the issue was dealt with (the teacher stopped insulting the class, and making biting comments to 10-year-olds), the rest of the year went smoothly.

You're awesome!
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:15 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Do you have girls in school? Have you ever had to deal with a situation similar to this? All the positive "I" messages are nice and dandy when the teacher is receptive, which this one is not. The principal is likely aware that there's a general problem but spelling out specifics will enable her to deal with it effectively.

As for vengeful teachers: A few years ago, when I got nowhere with dd's 4th grade teacher I let her know in advance that I was calling the principal the next day. This gave her time to approach the principal and discuss the issues with her before I called. Before we hung up the phone I told her clearly that, as a teacher, I know how tempting it is to take revenge on the child of a difficult parent and that she'd better make sure that didn't happen. I then asked if she understood me loudly and clearly. She said she did. Once the issue was dealt with (the teacher stopped insulting the class, and making biting comments to 10-year-olds), the rest of the year went smoothly.

This isn't like that. The teacher is ineffective, plain and simple. My child says the teacher uses a smartphone during class time as one example.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:19 pm
amother wrote:
This isn't like that. The teacher is ineffective, plain and simple. My child says the teacher uses a smartphone during class time as one example.

That's not good at all. What grade does this teacher teach ?
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:19 pm
amother wrote:
That's one of the problems I have. This teacher acts childishly with the children and then hands out consequences when they reciprocate. Thank g-d the consequences aren't bad ones per se, but the teacher is bad for chinuch, for motivation towards learning, actual education...

My suggested solution would involve intense training for this teacher or to be shown the door, none of which will come fast enough to be of benefit to my child. However, I see it as my moral obligation to notify the superiors of what's going on, if not for my child then for future children.

What age is your child? Is your child younger or older? Will your child be able to tell you what is going on accurately? How s/he is treated? If they're learning properly? If revenge is being taken?
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:21 pm
amother wrote:
I spoke to the teacher and there's nobody home. It's not about my child specifically but about classroom management, encouragement and teaching as a whole. I want the principal to get involved. But I'm worried that if I speak to the principal, it will come back to the teacher that I'm the one who called to complain, and my child will be the one to lose out.

Is there any way I can bring this teacher's behavior and attitude to the attention of the principal without it getting back to the teacher?

Is there any way you can contact the principal anonymously? So that the teacher won't find out who called ?
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amother
Beige


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:28 pm
Why can't you just call the principal? Since it's a general issue and not specific to your child, there's no reason the teacher should suspect you. The school should be made aware of the issue.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:31 pm
amother wrote:
That's not good at all. What grade does this teacher teach ?

Lower elementary
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:33 pm
amother wrote:
What age is your child? Is your child younger or older? Will your child be able to tell you what is going on accurately? How s/he is treated? If they're learning properly? If revenge is being taken?

My child, like many, doesn't say a story straight, so it's hard to know the facts for certain. I wouldn't trust that in the future I would hear things more clearly.

From the bits and pieces I hear now, and from what I heard from speaking to the teacher, I have enough to know that things aren't ok.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:35 pm
amother wrote:
Is there any way you can contact the principal anonymously? So that the teacher won't find out who called ?

How? By not giving my name?
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:37 pm
amother wrote:
Why can't you just call the principal? Since it's a general issue and not specific to your child, there's no reason the teacher should suspect you. The school should be made aware of the issue.

I can call the principal, but I don't know if I can trust the principal to not repeat my criticism of the teacher in my name. I know how these things work. I agree the school must know. My question is how to inform them without my child being the one to suffer because of it.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:37 pm
amother wrote:
My child, like many, doesn't say a story straight, so it's hard to know the facts for certain. I wouldn't trust that in the future I would hear things more clearly.

From the bits and pieces I hear now, and from what I heard from speaking to the teacher, I have enough to know that things aren't ok.

After years of teaching experience, I would say it depends on the school. Is this a new teacher or someone who has been there for years? Are they a well-run established school with professional teachers? Or do they likely know but have a good reason to keep this teacher (personally related to administration, been there for years, etc)? The principal should be on your side, but may back the teacher. You need to give specific facts.

I myself as a parent have spoken to teachers about incidents with my kids at school only for them to say it wasn't like that, it's not what happened, your child doesn't see full picture.
So go in with as many facts as you can.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Thu, Dec 13 2018, 8:41 pm
amother wrote:
How? By not giving my name?

Exactly
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