Let's Write the Next Great Frum Novel

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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

iyar

Fri, Dec 14 2018, 10:28 am

Should I be embarrassed that I actually came for a visit on Erev Shabbos to check on this Great Frum Novel?
If all you wise imamothers tell me Yes, I guess I'll have this post deleted.
If not, I want to tell all of you- Thanks for the entertainment!
All I'm missing now is some of Rivka's babka...

cuties' mom

Fri, Dec 14 2018, 11:33 am

Malka woke up and instantly tried to pat her sheitel. She was surprised that her hand didn't move. She tried to sit up so she could check the mirror, but was unable to move. A quick glance around the room told her that there was no mirror in sight. She started to cry as she noticed her trusted tear stained tehillim on the night table, but couldn't get her hand to reach for it.
"She's awake!" She heard someone say, and a lady in white bustled over to her bed.
"How do you feel?" the woman asked.
Malka tried to answer, but realized that there was something in her mouth and she couldn't speak. She tried lifting her hand again, this time to remove the tube from her throat and realized that her hand was strapped down. She narrowed her eyes at the woman who was holding her captive.
"Why oh why am I in this situation?" she wanted to ask, but she couldn't get her mouth to work. She noticed that there was a another wire going into her nose.
"What a yummy way to eat," she thought sarcastically as she tried to move the wire around in her nose.

Rubber Ducky

Fri, Dec 14 2018, 12:56 pm

iyar wrote:

You're not alone — I just checked in here to read the latest installments before Shabbos!

Iymnok

Sat, Dec 15 2018, 11:13 am

Was Malka in the hospital for an accident caused by phone usage while driving, or a terrorist attack?

amother

Jade

Sat, Dec 15 2018, 3:23 pm

Neither - she's being treated for Repetitive Strain Injury caused by all the snood-patting/sheitel-adjusting!

MitzadSheini

Sat, Dec 15 2018, 3:41 pm

amother wrote:

Neither - she's being treated for Repetitive Strain Injury caused by all the snood-patting/sheitel-adjusting!

Jade you will earn immense schar for that joke!!!

tryinghard

Sun, Dec 16 2018, 9:22 am

Shifra Susha listened to the audible click of the phone and looked at it in disbelief.
Did Rivka just hang up on her? Wll, of course she had to, her ba'al would be waiting. Her little brother (her younger twin, by all of 15 minutes!) Yitzchak Yechiel was such a good guy, such an amazing husband, it was no wonder Rivka had it so together. Of course she thought it unthinkable that Shifra Susha would be overwhelmed. If only Zalman Zanvil helped out the way YY did... Wait.
Shifra Susha gave herself a little mental shake.
Zalman Zanvil didn't deserve that - after all, he slaved away all day in the ameilus of Torah. Of course YY could help - he had it much easier, since he was working. She almost allowed her respect for her talmid chacham of a ba'al to drop a little!
Realizing she needed some chizzuk, she reached for the phone, absentmindedly patting her sheitel -only she wasn't wearing one was she, because she was just a failure. As a wife, as a mother... In tears, she dialed the Rebbetzin.

amother

Mauve

Fri, Dec 21 2018, 11:05 am

I came here hoping for an erev shabbos treat but instead I am left hanging! I still can't figure out who Malka is and her connection to RR or YY or ZZ. Here's hoping that more people will be inspired to add to the saga after shabbos.

amother

Gray

Sat, Dec 22 2018, 3:25 pm

Bump

SYA

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 9:52 am

I was really enjoying this thread. I’m not a writer, but do love reading.

Seems this thread lost its steam.
Hoping some of the talented ima writers will continue and take it further as the plot thickens...

Iymnok

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 10:16 am

SYA wrote:

What plot? Scratching Head

Boca00

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 10:50 am

Shifra Shprintza gripped the cordless phone tightly as it rang, her knuckles turning white.

After an interminable wait, the cheerful recorded voice of Brocha Shluffstein sang out, "You've reached the Shluffsteins. Sorry we're not available! If this is a true medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If this is a halachic emergency, please go find Rabbi Shluffstein at his shtender. Otherwise, please take 2 rugelach and call back in the morning!"

With a shudder, Shifra Shprintza shakily disconnected the call. It was far less satisfying than slamming the old corded phone had been.

Now what?! She pressed her whitened knuckles to her lips, tears leaking from her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. She felt as though her last lifeline was plucked out of her grasp.

--------

Shifra Shprintza didn't know how long she had been standing frozen by the phone, when suddenly, a shrill rang pierced the silence. Her first thought was, "we must get a more normal ring tone", and then she shook herself out of her reverie and snatched up the phone. The Rebbetzin hadn't abandoned her!

Her words came out in a rush. "Thank you so much for calling! I don't know what to do anymore! All my sentences are ending in exclamation marks, that's how bad it is! I am a total and utter failure! I never wear my sheitel! I don't bake babke! I can't get back to work and the triplets are 7 weeks old already! I am resentful of my husband's lack of help! I just can't- I'm not coping!"

"Honey," the heavily accented voice on the other end said. "You sound overwhelmed. What I'm going to tell you now will take all your problems away! You just won a free trip for 5 to the Bahamas. And a Nigerian prince wants to give you a million dollars! After a nice vacation and lots of cleaning help, you will be as good as new. I promise."

"Really?" Shifra Shprintza sputtered. "Uh, who is this?"

"This is Heather from the 'Dreams Come True' foundation. All I need is your credit card number for a nominal $1 charge, as well as some minor information like your mother's maiden name, your bank account number and the location of your safe, and I will confirm your reservation and take care of the wire transfer. You don't have to worry about a thing!"

Shifra glowed. This was the answer to her problems! "Where do I start?" she asked, as the squeezing feeling in her chest began to subside.

InnerMe

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 11:10 am

tryinghard wrote:

The rebbetzin picked up on the first ring as if she was waiting for her call.

"Hello, my dear Shira Susha! So lovely to hear your voice!"
Shira Susha sighed in relief. She was so lucky to have Rebbetzin Vachtvogel.

"Hi Rebbetzin..err,, I'm calling..because..well..." Grrrr...why was it so hard to get the words out of her mouth?
"Go ahead I'm listening"

"it's Zalmen Zanvel" she blurted out.

"He's just too big of a Talmud chachum."

The minute these words escaped from her mouth, she knew she shouldnt of said it. Why, Rebbetzin Vachtvogel, must be thinking that she's the most vain, selfish, and spiritually defunct woman.

"Shira Susha, did I hear what I think I just heard?"

"Uh, no, I mean yeah. It's great really that he's such a Talmud chachum and learns so much, it's really my pleasure... But sometimes it's so HARD." A tear escaped her eye and made its way down to her lips smudging her lipstick.

"Ahh.. I hear you Shira Susha. I really do. One thing that can help you is to remember this: Great things happen through sacrifice. It's hard, I know, but remember it's only through hard work, sweat, and tears tears that we reach greatness. Every time it's difficult and you feel like throwing in the towel tell yourself SS, Good things come through sacrifice. Here, say it with me: Good things come through sacrifice."

SS sighed in relief. She knew she'd be able to rely on rebbetzin Vachtvogel for some pearls of wisdom.

"Thank you, Rebbetzin, for the chizzuk"

"the pleasure is mine. Now you just go and keep practicing that line"

"I will, rebbetzin. I will." And with that the phone went click.

SS went straight to the mirror, gasped at her askew Sheitel, and made a mental note to fix herself up before ZZ came home. But first things first.

She stared into the mirror and said slowly and surely enunciating everY syllable. "Good things come through sacrifice. Good things come through sacrifice."

There. Now she was ready to glam herself up for ZZ.

InnerMe

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 11:11 am

Bocas we cross-posted! Now we have two alternate versions!

mommy2379

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 11:14 am

Hey- we didn't give this book a title! Perfect Pearls. Seamless Strands. Shining Sheitals. Twisted Tangles...

Boca00

Sun, Dec 23 2018, 11:16 am

InnerMe wrote:

Bocas we cross-posted! Now we have two alternate versions!

Once she got off the phone with the scammer, she tried her other Rebbetzin for chizzuk, who answered on the first ring.

There ya go Wink

amother

Copper

Mon, Dec 24 2018, 4:19 am

Boca00 wrote:

Once she got off the phone with the scammer, she tried her other Rebbetzin for chizzuk, who answered on the first ring.

There ya go Wink

Or you can make it a "choose your own adventure".

Like this
If the Rebbetzin answers the phone, go to page 87
If she gets an answering machine, go to page 102

Here are some more possible options for other people to write the storyline for.

If Malkie recovers, go to page 68
If Malkie continues her character as some type of ghost, go to page 86

If YY was having an affair with Malkie, go page 212
If YY is Malkie's brother, go to page 121

And so on.
Hope that helps.

zaq

Mon, Dec 24 2018, 2:05 pm

Very entertaining, but your basic premise is wrong. "Great frum novel" is an oxymoron.

syrima

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 8:13 am

I think the choose your own adventure idea is absolutely inspired...

And in honor of today, whatever you call it, and the fact that I am at work with a total of 2 other people in the entire department, I will continue this great (yes, I wrote part of it so it's great) saga....

Just one problem, I totally forgot who Malkie is...oh, well.

And excuse me, this is a frum novel, NO AFFAIRS ALLOWED!!!

PAGE 86

Malkie was resting in her hospital bed. It felt like she had been there forever. She was vaguely aware of occasional activity around her which were doctors, nurses, and family, but she could not seem to respond to them. It was as though she was on the other side of some frosted glass partition that separated her from the rest of the world. She was too tired to think much about it anyway. She just drifted in and out of consciousness.
The beeps from the various machines she was hooked up to were the constant backdrop to her thoughts. She didn't feel pain, just a fuzziness which was the side effect of the medications in her system.
Suddenly the beeps became faster, more insistent. Nurses and doctors came and crowded the bedside. Orders were given in urgent tones, and various emergency procedures were attempted. But let's not get into details, in case any kiderlach are reading, it's not so nice. Rest assured that her snood remained on throughout the proceedings.
Malkie felt herself moving upward, and found herself looking down on her hospital bed from above. She could see the activity die down as the doctors realized their attempts to revive her were not working. Family rushed in, weeping, and she watched all of it like a movie as she seemed to hover near the ceiling.
Then she sensed rather than saw the light, emanating from a Source, far away. If any kinderlach are reading, you should know that of course it was from the Aibishter, and she just had to follow the light to get to Olam Habah. Just like they teach you in school. But for the sake of the plot (yes, there IS a plot) she will take a little detour first....
The light was bright as anything and yet not blinding like the sun, but rather emanating warmth and kindness. She wanted nothing more than to get close to it. But something was blocking her way. It was her grandmother, of blessed memory.
The woman smiled at her. "mein Malkeleh," she murmured softly. "I am sorry that you had to leave so soon. You have done a good job with your life. The Aibishter will help your family to continue on without you. I am already arranging a shidduch for your dear husband because we know it is not good for a man to be alone!
But you have a choice. You can go to your place in Olam haba, or to earn some extra tikkun points for your neshamaleh, you can do me a favor. You know your dear YYB , RR, ZZ and SS back in the States? They are nebach, so confused, so farbludgened, and their marriages could chalilah fail if things continue like this! This would cause much suffering to their children and endanger their future shidduchim. And these are my einikech, you understand. Now, what we need you to do is go back, visit them, and try to somehow get them the help they need. Your marriage was beautiful, and I believe you can help. But you will have to go as a ghost, and you can't talk to them directly. Please try, for my sake."
Malkie looked into the wise, smiling eyes of her Bubbe Malka and knew that she could not refuse.

InnerMe

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 8:27 am

And just as fast as she came she disappeared.
Malka felt herself floating back to earth. She wanted so desperately to hold onto that light. That warm ethereal glow. She didn't want to come back.
But she had to. And here she was. Doctors yelling. Nurses screaming. Machines beeping, humming.

"Why is there so much noise here?" she yelled.

And suddenly everything stopped. All the doctors, and nurses turned to stare. Even the machines quit their noise making.

And then they started yelling all together: "OH MALKA! You're back!!"

"Uh, yeah. I'm back and I'm supposed to go help certain people that all have double names with the same initials, but I don't know who they are. Do I need to go back to the beginning of this book to find out if they are my sisters? friends? neighbors? cousins? Can someone help sort this book out?"

They looked at her strange. The doctor with the scraggly beard and professorly perched glasses look at her "What book? What people? Did you come back to earth deranged?" The nurses clucked their tongues and looked sadly, pityingly at her.

"I don't know if I'm deranged. All I know is that I need to help these people! Bubbe Malka made me promise!! But I have no idea who they are! Don't any of you know the beginning of the story and what my relationship is with them??!"

She started to cry.

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