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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions
Go to the Rabbi's child wedding?



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amother
Seashell


 

Post Sun, Dec 16 2018, 8:36 pm
I was surprised to find an invitation inviting my husband and I to the Rabbi's child's wedding. He is a very loved Rabbi and the congregation is at least 200-300 families. I know they invited the whole membership. I think it is wrong to RSVP yes for the meal cause it is expensive. My husband thinks we should go. While we ask him our sheilos we aren't specifically close at all with the family. In fact I don't even know the child's name. Is it common courtesy to refuse the meal and just go to chuppah or should we go and enjoy ourselves?
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 16 2018, 8:38 pm
If you were invited for the meal then go and enjoy.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 16 2018, 8:38 pm
If you go for the meal you should certainly give a cash gift to cover your portions. (It would be nice if you gave a gift even if you just go for the Chupah.)
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 16 2018, 9:07 pm
Speak to the other members of the shul if all ate going to meal....if they are you should too!
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 1:54 am
If the shul is a close, tight-knit community, then go. Otherwise, recognize that this is a courtesy invite and just send a gift and good wishes.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 6:05 am
allthingsblue wrote:
If you go for the meal you should certainly give a cash gift to cover your portions.


ewww no, sorry
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 6:55 am
amother wrote:
If the shul is a close, tight-knit community, then go. Otherwise, recognize that this is a courtesy invite and just send a gift and good wishes.

That's how I feel. I can recognize courtesy invitations and I do not go. I am at the stage in my life that I don't enjoy attending weddings where I don't feel close to the chattan and kallah or very close with the parents.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 8:50 am
My cash gift is intended for the chosson and kallah.
Can you say, iy"H we'd love to go but don't make seats for us, and you'll come back for dancing, or just hang around?
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 8:55 am
Ruchel wrote:
ewww no, sorry


Depends on culture.
In Israel it would be wrong/socially awkward to go without a cash gift covering your portions (barring certain small communities, or if you are obviously struggling financially)
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