Is it okay for the gan to do this?

amother

Blonde

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:16 am

I live in a small OOT community in Israel. There's one cheder here that all the Chareidim send to, which starts from first grade. There are also ganim in various locations that are all under the same management as the cheder.

The cheder expects all children to come into first grade already knowing how to read. It's a condition for being accepted to the cheder.

Until last year, the hanhala had a reading teacher come to the gan a few days a week to teach the kids to read (each kid individually) for an additional 800 shekels for the year for whoever wanted it. We could not afford that and we had no problem teaching our kids ourselves, so we never paid that money. Our kids came into first grade reading fluently after being taught at home.

I now have another son in gan chova, and this year the arrangement is different, though we were not informed of this before the school year started. There's a reading teacher there every day who works with each kid individually for an additional 1500 shekels for the year and it's not optional. The hanhala sent out a letter saying that since not all children were coming to first grade sufficiently prepared, they're requiring everyone to do it this way. They wrote that they did it last year for the first time and it was very successful.

There is no way we can afford this money. Just to feed our family, DH is working a second job doing manual labor at night in addition to his regular desk job during the day. So I called the menahel and told him that I would be teaching him myself and the teacher should not work with him. He answered, "I see" and that was pretty much that. Except that the teacher is still working with him because nobody gave her that message, and when I spoke to the ganenet about it, she told me that nobody is going to tell her to stop working with him since all the kids learn with the teacher and he's not going to be the odd one out. I said fine, as long as I informed them that I'm not paying, it's not my problem. Then, the secretary called and asked me about paying for the teacher. I told her as well that we're teaching him on our own and he should not learn with the teacher. She said that it will be our responsibility to make sure he's reading by first grade, and I assured her we would do that.

But the teacher is still teaching him. And it's been months.

Yesterday, DS came home with a letter from the other menahel basically saying that every parent must pay and that there's no choice about it. It's a very strongly worded letter. I feel like having a meeting with him and telling him that I would sooner pull my son out of gan and homeschool him than pay that money, just to get the message across to him that we really do not have the money for this. I might actually do that.

But I'm wondering, do they really have a right to make this mandatory? Maybe I'm in the wrong here?

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:20 am

I think if you were told before the school year started that you have to pay this amount, thats one thing, but to require you to pay when it was not your decision is beyond not right.
I think having a meeting is exactly what you should do. Also the menahel who you already told, that you were not going to be able to pay, you should let him know.
Good luck.

abound

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:31 am

It is the schools responsibility to teach the children how to read, they cannot charge extra for it. They also cannot say that a child has to come into first grade knowing something that was not taught by the gan or in the curriculum of the gan. No one should be paying money for something that is the schools job.

amother

Oak

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:37 am

Well I know Israel is kind of special with things like this, especially in the days when I lived there. But legally speaking you need a written contract that states you were informed about this and agreed to pay. Otherwise your neighbor could send you a bill for watching your kid last afternoon because "the kid can't be left unattended".
So they can't force you to pay. If they go to court... They have no chance at winning.
That being said.. you should have reacted sooner. Gone there, talked to the principal , asked for something in writing. That's what I would do. And for next year I guess you shouldnt send your kids to this gan anymore if you can't afford it and they make this Hebrew class obligatory.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:41 am

That sounds like an unfair situation.

I also think it's ridiculous to have to pay extra for a basic skill. This is reading, not music lessons!

That being said, I think you should have a meeting and tell them straightforwardly and simply that you cannot afford this service. No emotion, no getting tangled up. I'm sorry, but we cannot afford it.

I have found that people who never experienced it cannot seem to understand this idea of literally not being able to afford something.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:46 am

To add: it is not your problem that the reading teacher worked with your child. You never agreed to this and you never signed a contract with this teacher. It is the responsibility of the person hiring the teacher to worry about his/her pay.

For example- my son's school had a vision screening. Everyone was supposed to give in their insurance information. My son already has glasses and goes regularly to the eye doctor, and I told this to the school. When they had the screening, he was included partially so he shouldn't feel left out. It is not my responsibility to pay for that.

Rappel

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 5:49 am

Fight it. They think Americans are all rich freiers, and they'll push you because they think you'll pay in the end.

Odds are, they did inform everyone, but in a manner or forum that you didn't hear about it. Even so, I can almost promise you that you're not the only parent getting this letter, and that they will keep pestering you, but will never show their teeth. So long as you were perfectly clear all along that you don't want this extra service, I don't see how they can obligate you to pay.

As for the hanhala itself: I think it's really great that they have a tutor who gives each child personal reading time. I think it's really sweet that they don't want to leave your child as the odd man out. The demand for money isn't fair, but I love your description of the program, in general.

amother

Blonde

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 6:24 am

Thanks for all the feedback. Just a few clarifications:

This is a small community where everyone knows everyone, almost like a family. It's not a community where people take others to court or demand things in writing. Both principals' daughters were students of mine. The ganenet is my close friend who used to work with me. I don't know the reading teacher because she just moved here--otherwise I would just speak to her myself (though the ganenet felt I should leave her out of it).

We're not seen as rich Americans here. We're not really American and everyone knows that we struggle with finances.

The letter was likely send to the whole gan, based on the way it was written. It wasn't specifically to us.

The hanhala is otherwise wonderful and really cares about each child. I do agree with that.

chanchy123

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 6:25 am

The gan can force you to pay for extra caricular activities if the majority of the parents agree. But there is a cap to the sum they can charge yearly (maybe 500-600). 1500 would be too much.
However this is very common practice.
I don't think the school is allowed to exclude your child if you didn't pay.
However, if you truly can't afford it ask for a meeting with the administration and ask for an exemption. Maybe suggest a sum you can pay (15-20 nis a month?).
Explain that paying is just not an option for you. I'm sure you're not the only family.
Make them realize that you know they can't force you to pay. Be confident don't let them bully you, but show good faith and appreciation of the program and administration. Seriously they have no way of making you pat money you do not have. That's the end of the story.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 7:00 am

I have no idea where u live but usually small communities in Israel are places where most of the families have a similar level of income. How is everyone affording it? It is very high.

Where we live the boys learn the alef beis in gan 4, and in mechina they learn the nekudos and are reading by the end of the year before first grade. I dont understand why this reading specialist is even necessary?

Iymnok

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 7:06 am

My son is in gan (4yrs) they have a Rebbi who comes twice a week to teach them alef beis. Next year will be mechina and the same Rebbi will teach them to read. Kita Alef they will be reading pretty well.
From my understanding this is the standard for cheder. We pay 330/month from ganon. Normal can be up to 450/month. This is assuming regular sibsidation.

ora_43

Wed, Dec 05 2018, 1:39 am

They probably aren't allowed to do this. The law limits extra payments to 342 shekels a year, even in private ganim.

Source

But since you have to keep dealing with the same management in the future, I'd come at it from an angle of "oh, I really wish I could pay, but we just don't have the money... because the law says up to 342 shekels I only budgeted for that much, oops..." IOW the main message isn't "you can't do this, it's not fair," but more, "I can't (and by the way, I know my rights here)."

amother

Blonde

Thu, Dec 20 2018, 5:35 pm

OP here. Sorry it's taken me this long to get back to the thread. There were a few things going on in my life simultaneously.

I never did anything about this due to everything else going on, but yesterday the cheder finally called us. They spoke to DH and asked him what our stance is on paying for the reading teacher. DH answered that it's not about stance, it's about reality, and the reality is that we don't have the money to pay. He told them that just as our other boys came to cheder knowing how to read, this one will also and the teacher is not a necessity for us. The secretary said she understands and will pass on our message. So we'll see what happens.