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Do better people have better marriages?



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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Tue, Jan 08 2019, 2:49 am
I just read an article that theorizes that people that have cultivated and worked on themselves and strengthened positive qualities, positive thinking patterns and positive behaviors have better marriages. Either spouse. The article claims that superficial, mean, angry, bitter, unkind, dishonest philanderer's have the worst marriages. I'm shocked right now. I can't believe it. Thoughts???
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Tue, Jan 08 2019, 2:52 am
amother wrote:
I just read an article that theorizes that people that have cultivated and worked on themselves and strengthened positive qualities, positive thinking patterns and positive behaviors have better marriages. Either spouse. The article claims that superficial, mean, angry, bitter, unkind, dishonest philanderer's have the worst marriages. I'm shocked right now. I can't believe it. Thoughts???


Seems about right. No shock there!

Btw, is there such thing as an honest philanderer? 🤔

Probably people who don’t waste all their time on IMA writing or responding to posts have a better marriage. 🤣
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Jan 08 2019, 4:56 am
If you're a good person married to a superficial, mean, angry, bitter, unkind, dishonest philanderer, you're not going to have a good marriage no matter how much you work on yourself or try to look at the positive.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:52 am
Thanks for the laugh, OP. And for getting to the heart of what can make the biggest difference between success and failure.
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Jan 08 2019, 7:40 am
Don't know if this is serious or not.

I know a couple who got divorced, it was a big surprise to me because they seemed to get along well and we're both nice people, but who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

On the other hand I know a couple who seem to have a troubled marriage, scream at each other a lot and the wife talks to me about their problems, and they've been married forever and having these problems forever.

It would seem from the outside that the second marriage was worse. Could be that it really was worse but the first couple had higher expectations so divorced when the high expectations weren't met, and the second couple had low expectations so keep sticking with it. Or could be that the first couples' marriage was just as bad but they kept it hidden.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Jan 08 2019, 7:46 am
In other news, people that don't sleep well are tired the following day.
I agree with you op. That thread discussing whether happy people have happier marriages seemed like a bracha l'vatala.
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