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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
High school requesting photo w/application-norm?
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 6:59 pm
I just saw an application from one hs, don’t want to name the town.
Is it the norm?
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Ravenclaw




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:03 pm
I don’t know if it’s the norm, but I think it sounds terrible. If it isn’t the norm then I would not want to send there.
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bsy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:05 pm
Yes, my high school application asked for picture almost 10 years ago.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:08 pm
Ravenclaw wrote:
I don’t know if it’s the norm, but I think it sounds terrible. If it isn’t the norm then I would not want to send there.


My daughter is applying for HS now too, and yes the applications are asking for photos.

I guess those school administrators aren't the ones who decry the picture requests for shidduchim.
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:10 pm
Unfortunately, it is the norm IME, for elementary school, high school and seminary. When asked, one administrator said it was so they would recognize the student when she got there. Not a very strong reason, in my opinion.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:11 pm
that's the reason I was told also. The teachers are given the pictures with the names so they could familiarize themselves with the kids before the first day. Don't remember high
school but I know that my sem did that. My picture was dreadful though Wink
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:13 pm
Delete

Last edited by amother on Mon, Feb 11 2019, 8:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:14 pm
I know my seminary did that. The teachers familiarized themselves with names/faces.
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:15 pm
Applying for hs now. MO, NJ. All requested photo. Figured it's just to help them keep track.
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Ravenclaw




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:20 pm
Fine, once you are accepted it makes sense. I get photos of my incoming students so I can learn their names. But it seems weird for the application.
I would go on a rant here about affirmative action in general and how ridiculous it is that people still have to fill out things like ethnicity on applications, but that’s more appropriate for a spinoff.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:30 pm
amother wrote:
My daughter is applying for HS now too, and yes the applications are asking for photos.

I guess those school administrators aren't the ones who decry the picture requests for shidduchim.


Unless the schools are rejecting girls above a size 2, or boys with big noses, its entirely different.

I always figured it made it easier to connect the application to the person who is interviewed. But I honestly never gave it much thought.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:37 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
Unless the schools are rejecting girls above a size 2, or boys with big noses, its entirely different.

I always figured it made it easier to connect the application to the person who is interviewed. But I honestly never gave it much thought.


As Ravenclaw mentioned, it would make some sense if doing that for students who are accepted for the incoming year.

So it's ok for administrators to connect the application to the person being interviewed, but it's not ok for someone to connect a resume to the person their child will be meeting?
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:42 pm
Honestly, it sounds to me like a very smart policy.

I can imagine the schools want to see what the girls look like before the interview so that if she is clearly far from the crowd they are aiming for, then they don't have to get people's hopes up with an interview. Say it is a very frum school, but the girl always has long, flowing hair and dangling earrings. They'd want to see an up-to-date photo of her, and if need be, say no before the stakes are higher.
It is much "nicer" to say no before an interview than at or after one, and certainly less problematic than kicking a girl out after she's a student there already!

Also, once the girl is accepted, I think it is correct for a school to have a photo ID on hand in case of calamity, chas v'shalom.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:47 pm
amother wrote:
Honestly, it sounds to me like a very smart policy.

I can imagine the schools want to see what the girls look like before the interview so that if she is clearly far from the crowd they are aiming for, then they don't have to get people's hopes up with an interview. Say it is a very frum school, but the girl always has long, flowing hair and dangling earrings. They'd want to see an up-to-date photo of her, and if need be, say no before the stakes are higher.
It is much "nicer" to say no before an interview than at or after one, and certainly less problematic than kicking a girl out after she's a student there already!

Also, once the girl is accepted, I think it is correct for a school to have a photo ID on hand in case of calamity, chas v'shalom.


If a picture can tell you all that, then why is it wrong to do the same analysis for a shidduch? Why does someone have to do make countless of calls, if they can have the information in one minute by just looking at a pic?

(Btw, in my location every student who applies gets an interview)
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:50 pm
If the kids come and visit or interview at the school, a photo helps them remember their interactions with each kid. Makes sense to me
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:50 pm
amother wrote:
If a picture can tell you all that, then why is it wrong to do the same analysis for a shidduch? Why does someone have to do make countless of calls, if they can have the information in one minute by just looking at a pic?

(Btw, in my location every student who applies gets an interview)


Is it wrong to do the same for a shidduch? I don't think so.
I think the way we look and dress and walk and talk says alot about who we are.
If a perspective inlaw wants to see the other party before the shidduch, it is not only recommended, but a must, in my mind.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:52 pm
amother wrote:
Honestly, it sounds to me like a very smart policy.

I can imagine the schools want to see what the girls look like before the interview so that if she is clearly far from the crowd they are aiming for, then they don't have to get people's hopes up with an interview. Say it is a very frum school, but the girl always has long, flowing hair and dangling earrings. They'd want to see an up-to-date photo of her, and if need be, say no before the stakes are higher.
It is much "nicer" to say no before an interview than at or after one, and certainly less problematic than kicking a girl out after she's a student there already!

Also, once the girl is accepted, I think it is correct for a school to have a photo ID on hand in case of calamity, chas v'shalom.


And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"

But I'll reverse myself. Any school that would reject a girl based on her earrings should not be asking for photos. I guess that I'm just naive enough to think that no one would ever do that.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:53 pm
amother wrote:
If a picture can tell you all that, then why is it wrong to do the same analysis for a shidduch? Why does someone have to do make countless of calls, if they can have the information in one minute by just looking at a pic?

(Btw, in my location every student who applies gets an interview)


Are you meeting with hundreds of girls In order to analyze whether they will be compatible with your son, and need the photos to keep track of who’s whom, or do you need photos for curiousity’s sake and to determine whether the girl is tznious but mostly thin and pretty enough for your son?
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:53 pm
A new camp this year requested a picture with the application Surprised
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amother
Brown


 

Post Thu, Jan 10 2019, 7:58 pm
tigerwife wrote:
Are you meeting with hundreds of girls In order to analyze whether they will be compatible with your son, and need the photos to keep track of who’s whom, or do you need photos for curiousity’s sake and to determine whether the girl is tznious but mostly thin and pretty enough for your son?


If you're receiving photos of hundreds of girls, you're not really viewing them to keep track of them, unless you have a photographic memory.

I'm not viewing any girl's photo to evaluate beauty or size, I'm using it to connect the resume to a person. I'm in agreement with amother apricot who stated the following:

"Is it wrong to do the same for a shidduch? I don't think so.
I think the way we look and dress and walk and talk says alot about who we are.
If a perspective inlaw wants to see the other party before the shidduch, it is not only recommended, but a must, in my mind."
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