Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Guests
S/O of S/O Pet Peeves: Who gets served first?
Previous  1  2  3  4  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 6:50 am
saw50st8 wrote:
We usually serve guests first. Do all your husbands not help out?

Mine helps with clearing at the end. He stays at the table and engages the kids and company, while I serve (with whoever gets up to help)
Back to top

princessleah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:18 am
I have an open kitchen so I'm just putting platters on the counter and they get whisked away by DH or the other guests and brought to the table, family style and passed around.
I'm taking food out of the oven and putting it in bowls, platters, DH is bringing it to the table. When I get to my seat all the food has appeared on my plate!
Back to top

amother
Powderblue


 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:24 am
Saw50st8, no, DH does not help during the meal, he stays seated & my kids help me serve. DH helps clear the table though.
Back to top

amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:25 am
Ema of 4 wrote:
Mine helps with clearing at the end. He stays at the table and engages the kids and company, while I serve (with whoever gets up to help)


Same. My dh sets up and cleans up, and hosts while I'm in the kitchen prepping and serving. Occasionally I need his help in the kitchen or with something else during the meal, but sometimes it's awkward to leave all the guests at the table. Depending on the situation.

I definitely serve him first, per halachic obligation and to show my respect for him. Guests are served next, and kids last. My kids are almost never served before dh even when there are no guests. They are obligated in kibbud av and part of chinuch is showing them by example. Doesn't apply to infants obviously...
Back to top

SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:43 am
pause wrote:
I always put serving dishes in front of DH. This way he can choose - according to who the guests are. He usually passes the dish on to the guests to serve themselves first.

But mostly, I plate individual servings so that I can ensure there's enough of everything for everyone.


How long does that take you to do? I'm embarrassed at how long I take to get everything onto serving platters; I fear it would be time of seudat shlishit before I plated things!

If there's a dish that I know someone in particular loves, I'll start it with them. Otherwise, I start different things at different places around the table.
Back to top

cm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:48 am
At my house, the only food that is specifically served to people rather than passed around is soup. We just go around the table in order. Other serving dishes are started at different places at the table to keep things running smoothly.
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:48 am
SixOfWands wrote:
How long does that take you to do? I'm embarrassed at how long I take to get everything onto serving platters; I fear it would be time of seudat shlishit before I plated things!

If there's a dish that I know someone in particular loves, I'll start it with them. Otherwise, I start different things at different places around the table.

The only thing that gets plated individually is soup, and sometimes dessert. Everything else gets put out on serving platters/trays/dishes. I’d rather be able to put stuff away after the meal, rather ham have to throw out a full piece of chicken or a serving of side dishes becasue they were untouched on someone’s plate.
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 7:52 am
cm wrote:
At my house, the only food that is specifically served to people rather than passed around is soup. We just go around the table in order. Other serving dishes are started at different places at the table to keep things running smoothly.

Exactly. All serving things get scattered around the table, and people take and pass.
Back to top

Another mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 1:51 pm
Male first people- if the male is 15, does he come before a woman (adult)? Before your MIL???
Back to top

Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 2:26 pm
Another mom wrote:
Male first people- if the male is 15, does he come before a woman (adult)? Before your MIL???

In my husband’s family, yes. The MIL is the one serving and she serves herself last, but the 15 year old male gets served before me, the 33 year old adult female.

I don’t care when I get the food, but the policy bugs me on an intellectual level.
Back to top

Mothers




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 2:34 pm
Maya wrote:
In my husband’s family, yes. The MIL is the one serving and she serves herself last, but the 15 year old male gets served before me, the 33 year old adult femalel.


This really bugs me!!! Why is this acceptable?!?!?!
Back to top

amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, Jan 14 2019, 4:27 pm
It bothers me too.

And the fact that the 15 year old boys sit and don't get up once during the meal (like the adult men) while the 30, 40, 50 year old women are serving, clearing, up and down, up and down. Sometimes they don't even bother to pass their plate out when I'm literally leaning between them to clear it. This makes me so mad.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 1:50 am
Chickpea wrote:
OK, so when we have Shabbos guests, I always serve the guests before I serve my husband, out of honor to the guests. They invariably take most of the meat out of the cholent, leaving my husband with minimal meat to eat. Who should be getting served first, guests or husband?


I'm lost. Serve them less.
Back to top

mp5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 4:00 am
DH first.
Back to top

amother
Black


 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 4:36 am
amother wrote:
It bothers me too.

And the fact that the 15 year old boys sit and don't get up once during the meal (like the adult men) while the 30, 40, 50 year old women are serving, clearing, up and down, up and down. Sometimes they don't even bother to pass their plate out when I'm literally leaning between them to clear it. This makes me so mad.

What happens when there are no girls in a family?
My sons help out, and soup is always served by my husband (and/or sons or other male guests who see him going to the kitchen).
I put the food down near my husband first, but sometimes he walks around the outside of the table serving people from a platter to make sure that everyone gets while I bring in other dishes.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 5:47 am
I've never heard of this. Teens boys getting served by old women?? unless it's a grandma who spoils her grandson it is a NO
Back to top

amother
Wine


 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 12:10 pm
Husband first then guests
Sometimes when I bring out the chulent bowl I’ll serve some directly on my husbands plate. Then I’ll bring the serving bowl near the guests.
You should probably cut the meat into smaller pieces if people are taking a lot.
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 1:27 pm
With soup, I often serve little kids first since the soup needs to cool down.
Back to top

amother
Wine


 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 1:33 pm
Raisin wrote:
With soup, I often serve little kids first since the soup needs to cool down.


I take off for kids and leave in counter to cool while I serve others
Back to top

agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 15 2019, 3:10 pm
My BIL is a Kohen. I serve him first.

When my father comes over, I try to give him something and my husband something at the same time. With soup this can be hard, but it's doable.

With other guests, it depends. I usually but it between my husband and the guest (who usually sits on my husband's left side) and let them decide. If there's one person with a bunch of serving plates in front of him, I'll bring the next dish to another person to take and pass.
Back to top
Page 3 of 4 Previous  1  2  3  4  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

Related Topics Replies Last Post
My first girl - earrings
by amother
3 Yesterday at 5:56 pm View last post
Pet peeve… Esther was NOT Mordechai’s niece
by amother
29 Sun, Mar 24 2024, 7:44 pm View last post
Psa: Mordechai and Esther were first cousins
by amother
2 Sat, Mar 23 2024, 10:07 pm View last post
Tips for first time drinking on purim
by amother
22 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:11 pm View last post
Shma this taanis Esther, say the first passuk or all 3 par
by amother
4 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:37 am View last post