Not managing | Imamother

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:53 pm

I recently had to start working full-time for financial reasons and am having a really difficult time managing my job/house/family responsibilities. I have 3 children under the age of 5 and I feel stressed out all the time. Hiring help-aside from paying for childcare while I am at work-is not an option as we are not in a good financial place right now. My DH helps as much as he can, but he is also busy with his job. Can full-time working moms please please please share some good tips and tricks on how to deal with this juggle struggle? TIA!

amother

Seashell

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:14 pm

It's definitely hard! And it's expected that it will take time for you to adjust. My best advice is to get enough sleep. Personally, I'm a different person when I'm well rested, and it's really the only way I can stay afloat. During periods of having young infants, I always felt like I was falling off the treadmill. Beyond that, I do a lot of household stuff in spurts. So I cram a lot in on Sunday (I don't work then), or if I happen to be home during the day any other time.

ra_mom

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:16 pm

amother wrote:

I agree 100%.
And for me having food ready and hot when we walk through the door is very helpful for me too, as we all walk in together, and especially when they are little, so hungry and cranky and it's impossible to prepare the food then.

thunderstorm

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:42 pm

It's very hard when you don't have an extra pair of hands doing the housework.
It's important to utilize your Sundays to do most of your dinner prep for the week, all the laundry should be done so that you manage all week without just in case you are not up to it and minor cleaning on Sundays as well. Basically Shabbos is your only day "off"...
Also, I used to wake up at 4:00 am on early Fridays. I'm not a night person and I value my sleep and make it a priority. I'd rather get to bed early and have a sink full of dishes that I'll tackle early in the morning when I'm refreshed and recharged. It also helps that the kids are usually still asleep very early in the am and it's easier to accomplish.
It's a struggle. To be honest , it took a toll on me and I had to cut my hours to be mentally healthy and to be a good mother and wife. We each have different abilities so what's easy for one is not easy for another etc.
Hatzlacha! Hopefully this will just be a temporary situation.

ectomorph

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:46 pm

Very hard to sleep w 3 under 5.

If necessary and as a temporary measure you can try giving a quarter of a milligram of melatonin to your older ones. This will give you some sleep hopefully.

finprof

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:49 pm

I post a menu on Sunday based on what I bought on sale at the store so everyone knows what to expect but still the freezer stocked with fish sticks, chicken nuggets and perogies in case I don't get home in time. I try to cook as much as possible on Sunday. I also prep meals the night before (I.e. cut up veggies). The kids will usually need a snack b4 dinner is ready but that's ok. I also rely on "screen time" (pbs kids app) to distract the kids while I cook.
Good luck. You can do this!

mom!

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:54 pm

PLAN! Make your supper menu motzai Shabbos along with a complete shopping list. Prep as much as possible, make doubles and freeze, crockpots ect.
Lower your standards. If I was able to, anyone could.
I have the kiddies supper ready for when we walk through the door all together. They come home hungry and I find generally eat much better when I feed them then, as opposed to giving a snack first. I try to give finger foods (fish sticks, pizza bagels ect) that they can eat themselves while I get my act together with adult dinner (although I do try to prepare the night before.) I offer a treat for dessert for anyone who eats nicely.
Write a list! Errands, household things ect. When I don't write it down, it somehow doesn't get done.

mo5

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 10:18 pm

Can you combine your childcare with household help? Could it possibly be more cost effective to have someone at home to look after your children and have that person do some work for you around the house?