S/O Pet peeves guests do

amother

Brown

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 9:44 am

DrMom wrote:

I had a family come to my house and their kids started tearing my house apart. Literally the minute they set foot in the door, they began throwing sforim off the shelf and onto the floor, they ran into our bedroom and started opening closets, rifling through drawers.

Their parents made some ineffectual token gestures to reign them in, but I had to keep running around the house and popping up in the middle of lunch to prevent them from destroying my home.

If this is what the kids do as soon as they enter someone else's house, I expect the parenting is not great in general. My kids aren't angels but they would never do this.

Did you say something to the parents?

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 11:42 am

Squishy wrote:

That's what works for you in your house. In my house, I follow what DH wants. That's the end of the story. I could care less if DH notices a women's bare legs. This is what he is taught, and I can respect that.

The interesting thing is he never notices necklines, sheitals, elbows, makeup, jewelry or outfits.

Well, except for the fact that if he notices, that kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 11:45 am

Whatever. My point wasn’t to criticize your husband or the way you do things in your house. I’m just puzzled because it seems like that rule stems from a tznius related thing but in order to make sure the rule is adhered to, one would have to check each woman’s legs before making kiddish, which is not tznius, so 🤷‍♀️

amother

Lime

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 12:12 pm

We once had a guest that one of their kids found a ball and started throwing it around the house. I asked her repeatedly to tell her son that I dont allow balls in the house and I asked the boy to put it away or take it outside. The mom kept saying "what's the big deal??" Till the ball knocked a nice mirror off the wall & it shattered. The mom barely said I'm sorry, she says its "normal" kid behavior. Confused

melbee

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 2:32 pm

abound wrote:

This I don't get, It is such a minor thing, I am happy that guest are comfortable with their minhagim in my house. You want to make your own bracha on the challa, be my guest! YOu are makpid on sitting by kiddush and we stand, NP! You eat fish by the day meal, and we don't, If I have an extra piece in the fridge, I will gladly serve you!
Pouring wine into a kiddush cup comes at no expense or hardship to you, so whats the big deal? There are so many minhagim in Klal Yisroel, respect them all!
The succa on the otherhand was insulting, if he felt he could not trust your husband he should not have accepted an invite to your house.

I agree with you and said in my post I don't mind if people make kiddush themselves or even if the guest had asked to take from the cup directly. We always ask if people would prefer to make it themselves or be yotzei. But it was very awkward b/c DH made the bracha, drank from his kos, and then the guest took the kos after DH put it down and just poured it into his own cup. I have done all the other things in your post and I totally respect others minhagim. I just prefer people communicate what they need, don't just grab!