Jewish Man Brain Damaged After Horrific Accident

Yael

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 11:09 am

It is a typical Monday morning, and the little cheder boys spill energetically into their classroom. They have their seats and sit transfixed as the rebbe begins his daily lesson on the ‘alef beis.’ One figure in the classroom, however, is out of place. In one of the miniature plastic chairs sits a grown man with a grey beard. At first he appears to be a visitor, there to observe on behalf of a grandchild. Soon, however, it becomes clear: He is a talmid.

Brain damage has robbed the man who used to be a talmid chacham of even the most rudimentary Jewish knowledge. As the lessons draw to a close, he follows the children out onto the playground. Tragically unaware of his impairment, he plays as if he is a child. Just then, his adult children come to escort him home. With tears of humiliation and grief in their eyes, they ask:

“Tatty, don’t you remember who you are?”

It is a known Jewish parable, told by Rav Yitzchok Silberstein and later re-told by Rabbi Yechiel Spero, meant to illustrate the tragedy of the Jewish people gone astray. For one Jerusalem family, however, it is not a parable, but a reality.

Pinchas Hominer was a ‘typical’ father of 13 children whose daily life consisted of supporting his family, and learning Torah. That came to a screeching halt a few years ago when a car crash caused him severe brain damage. Doctors had both good and bad news for his wife: He had survived, but now had the mental capacity of a child.

In the time that has passed, Henya has bravely risen to the occasion of raising her children, and her now child-like husband, alone. Her eldest children have done their best to contribute to their finances. More painful than their poverty, however, is their grief at having lost the father that they knew.

This tragic context has cast a dark veil over their latest simcha: The engagement of daughter Yocheved. All involved are aware of the fact that Henya is unable to pay for her daughter’s wedding, or to help her set up a home for marriage. Yocheved has started a hachnasas kallah fund with the hope of taking this burden off of her mother’s shoulders.

Pictures of her vort show one simple decoration: a line of post-it notes spelling out “eishes chayil.” Indeed this adornment is symbolic of Yocheved’s dreams: She does not long for luxury. Rather, she prays to cover the most simple expenses involved with accomplishing her goal of starting a home with dignity.

“I am asking you to please help me to get married without embarrassment,” the young woman says in somber video footage, “so that we can truly feel joy.”

Any and all contributions will bring a ray of hope into the heart of this special young woman. Donations are being accepted here.

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FranticFrummie

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 1:08 pm

Her father's injury is truly tragic. I feel for the whole family.

Still... " She does not long for luxury. Rather, she prays to cover the most simple expenses involved with accomplishing her goal of starting a home with dignity. "

$50,000 for a "simple wedding"? I think we have different ideas of the difference between want and need.

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 2:21 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

This is the big divide among us. I assume that the money is not just going for that night (caterer, gowns, etc.) and maybe not even just to help her set up her home, but possibly seed money for an apartment or whatever.
That's not how I did it for mine but you know what? It could very well be that by her community standards this is next to nothing. I completely trust Yael's judgment in not second guessing this family's needs.

imamom7

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 2:58 pm

In Israel you cannot get married without an apartment

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 3:14 pm

imamom7 wrote:

In Israel you cannot get married without an apartment

No, you can get married, if you're willing to rent out in the sticks. And imagine a shidduch between two people who will buck the system and do that. They may well each have their own stories and helping them build their bnb is an incredible form of tzedaka, true hachanas kallah, and beneficial to klal Yisrael as a whole.

Iymnok

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 3:36 pm

From the picture they look chassidish. That means, in Israel, that the kallah's side buys the dira. This is some rent and furniture.

imasoftov

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 5:47 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

... I completely trust Yael's judgment in not second guessing this family's needs.

I haven't been told that Yael personally writes these ads or verifies the facts (the way she investigates posters asking for donations). If I've missed that, someone please correct me.

Last edited by imasoftov on Wed, Jan 16 2019, 5:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

imasoftov

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 5:49 pm

imamom7 wrote:

In Israel you cannot get married without an apartment

The truth of the above depends on the value of "you".

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 16 2019, 8:24 pm

imasoftov wrote:

I haven't been told that Yael personally writes these ads or verifies the facts (the way she investigates posters asking for donations). If I've missed that, someone please correct me.

Very possible. And I should mention that my saying I trust her doesn't mean I rush to give everyone. But I do daven for them and wish them well.
How about this: If a situation is presented, and it resonates, do whatever research you can to verify and make your own decision.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jan 17 2019, 4:10 am

PinkFridge wrote:

I don't doubt that the campaign is genuine, and I don't doubt Yael's judgment for one second.

I was only offering my highly biased opinion. Until I started on this board, I never heard of giving someone an apartment purchase as a wedding present.

In my day, if I wanted to buy a house, I had to rent somewhere cheap, work full time, and save very carefully. I had my grandmother cosign my first loan, but after that I did it with no help at all.

I do not understand the shame of living in a rented apartment. It's not like living in a tent on the side of the road. It's the same building, just a different financial agreement. Heck, nobody knows if anyone around here rents or owns unless they ask.

As others have said, donate where it resonates with you. I wish this couple much happiness, and comfort on the loss of the father. We should only hear good news.

Another mom

Sat, Jan 19 2019, 9:03 pm

imamom7 wrote:

In Israel you cannot get married without an apartment

NOT true. sorry!!!!

oliveoil

Sat, Jan 19 2019, 9:37 pm

My question is how much money of these campaigns are actually getting to the causes.

The same campaigns are posted everywhere as sponsored posts. ie. they are paying to post them. So that's gotta be a huge chunk of the money. Then Kupat Hair is surely taking a chunk for themselves (and we know they have a reputation even before they started working through thechessedfund). I want to know what percentage is actually getting to the needy.